BABY I AM JUST A PAINTER

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

I'M GONNA MAKE A MILLION DOLLARS
'cause no one's ever gonna steal you, no

Everything was moved. What little furniture she had, her clothing, the cat; literally everything was moved. The use of two apartments was not only getting expensive for the musicians, but it was just really unnecessary. If they weren’t near each other, they had an extremely good excuse as to why; otherwise every waking (and not so waking) moment that they had was spent in each other’s company. By human nature, that could and most certainly would lead to complications. Seeing someone every minute of every day? That was a lot of one person to handle. That was almost too much of one person to handle. But Denny didn’t really have any one outside of Annie, so he’d talked himself into believing they were an exception. By now, he fully believed that he could never get tired of Annie, mostly because he’d promised her too many things to slip up like that. He couldn’t push her away even if he wanted to, which would never happen so long as he could help it. Then again, the monster had been caged up since the hospital mishap he refused to think about, which meant that it was at bay and possibly ready to lurch out and grab Denny’s life by the balls.

That, however, was not reason enough for Denny to refuse Annie from living with him. He’d arranged to put her apartment up for sale, and within the few short days it had been since Valentine’s Day, he’d also managed to get Annie’s name on his lease. Everything was legally settled, and finally so was everything that had been moved the few blocks from Annie’s old place to Denny’s. Finally, Denny could sit down on his couch and realize that he wasn’t alone in his place, that Annie was there and she wasn’t going to just go home and have to come back later. This was her home too now, which was a big step now that he’d thought about it – but that wasn’t what they’d been thinking when the idea had come up. Valentine’s Day had been the best day of the year so far, especially since the last day they’d had like that had been Christmas. The idea had just come up, and Denny without hesitance had agreed and started with the phone to get a hold of whoever he could to have things moved and papers transferred. ‘A big step’ hadn’t been on his mind before, and now that it was he realized it wasn’t all that much of a big deal. Denny knew something like this would happen eventually. Either he’d have moved into Annie’s place or vice versa – and obviously the latter of the two was the actual case.

And now that everything was done, Denny was going to relax. Thins had started moving fast, and in order to take them at a pace that was acceptable, Denny just needed to cool himself off and take a break. It wasn’t the sort of break where things were awkward and tense and just disgusting (for lack of a better term), but rather just a break from really doing anything for the day. With that, he stepped into his living room, walked over to the couch and stood in front of it facing the place where his entertainment center was. He didn’t have a television there, though there was space for one, but rather just a bunch of songs and some equipment for recording demos or even just writing music to lyrics. Still, just sitting would be nice; with that Denny just let his knees give out and plopped backwards onto the cushions of the couch. He scared the cat that Annie had brought over away, though he hadn’t even realized the cat had been there in the first place. Thankfully, he hadn’t sat on the cat; the rather large animal had been on the opposite side of the couch. So the cat left and Denny put his head back , so that his hair reached the wall behind him, and closed his eyes. He felt tired even though they’d finished moving everything the day before – but there was still cleaning and unpacking to do, and Denny just didn’t seem to have the patience or the energy to do either of those things right now.

He sighed a long sigh, clearing out his lungs and thoughts at the same time. If he didn’t, Denny felt like he’d have started to let his mind drift into uncharted territory, which was quite scary if you asked him. He honestly didn’t want to think; he didn’t want to talk and he didn’t want to open his eyes. Denny just wanted to sleep, frankly. He wanted to let his mind shut off and take a break, but his body wasn’t moving at a pace that would allow that. Though he wasn’t very energized, his body wasn’t ready to sleep. He wasn’t worn out enough to sleep. All he could do was sit there with his eyes closed and his lungs empty for as long as they would stay that way – which wasn’t long now. Denny hadn’t flown or exercised his bird lungs in a time span that was too awfully long, and so his body was starting to become almost too human for his liking. His lungs couldn’t hold or retain as much air. His arms started feeling heavy and useless. His muscles tightened in unpleasant ways from time to time. He’d need to fly in the next couple of days, if not hours. For now, he was going to relax in every possible manner, starting with physically.

His eyes and attention didn’t stay off or closed for long. Before he could calculate what was happening, weight very close to him shifted, and suddenly he was sitting up and smiling. It wasn’t one of his notoriously huge, happy smiles, but rather a lazy, content smile. Annie was there finally, from wherever she’d been just moments before, which made not stopping for a rest and sleeping for a few minutes worth it. His arm closest to her reached out and across the space behind her shoulders, one of his legs subsequently lifting so his ankle rested on one of his knees. His eyes were starting to drift a bit in a sleepy, slow manner, but he forced them open. Denny tried to trick his mind with a pinch or two to the leg that was lifted up, as if that might send some adrenaline through his body to keep him alert and awake. It didn’t really do anything, but a placebo effect started to take place, and without much of a logical reason Denny actually started to talk himself into believing he was really more awake. That wasn’t all bad – in fact, it wasn’t bad at all – so Denny just let himself relax (though not in the same manner) and smile a bit wider. “Nice to see you, stranger.” He was joking, which was obvious through his tone. To back it up, he quickly leaned in and kissed the side of Annie’s face, sitting back when that was over and just smiling at her. “How does it feel to have everything here now?” was asked on his part just for the sake of conversation.




1210 -- seren/annie only <3 -- okay i was too lazy to make an image so it goes to caution. words go to me. lyrics go to pierce the veil. -- ugh finally. good good denny good.

[ANNABELLE MARIE HURLEY]

this is all i've got baby am i all you want
BECAUSE I'LL BE YOUR FAVORITE MISTAKE.

Annie couldn't remember the last time she had shifted. It was rare for that to happen, and she wracked her brain for a memory, but everything was generic, and she couldn't even tag a season to what she was seeing. It frustrated her, along with the feeling of having not shifted. It wasn't a familiar feeling for her because she always gave in to that first instinct, that first want to be out of her body. She didn't know how to deal with the build up of those feelings, the way they frustrated and irritated her. It left her body feeling wound up, but forced still. It induced nausea and made her fingers shake, like they had in the bar. The trembles had expanded all the way through her body though. It had been weeks. Weeks. At least longer than a month. She could feel the time sit on the surface of her body like a layer of grease, but she couldn't put a finger on it's volumes. Oh, but she felt it. She felt the way her body was reacting to the time. Her stomach turned, and she wanted to claw at her arms and cheeks. Her skin had tremors like it was crawling, and it set Annie uneasy, worried. But irritation kicked in and she couldn't pity herself. She was angry at everything else, snapping like a canine jaw. 

Moving in with Denny had been a good idea, and it would pay off for them in the long run. But in the short run, it taunted Annie. With only one home, she felt trapped. And with the sense that every window opened only to sky, she was. She had been on the first floor, easy access to the ground, bushes springing up by her windows. Now there was just this appalling amount of horizon and it made Annie angry. It made her want to scream. Everything about his apartment made her feel crazy, and she was bad at coping with that. Her cat felt the same way, and his pent up energy was rubbing off on Annie. She knew she would have to give him away; she could barely take care of herself, let alone a cat that wasn't improving her attitude. They were both trapped and angry and irritated. Denny didn't feel that way. What trapped them freed him. And so Annie was struck into silence by the fact that he wouldn't understand how suddenly this had become a jail. 

How silly that fact was; Denny knew what it was like to be trapped. But Annie had always been a person of action. 

She sat on the bed in a crumbled position, thinking softly and trying to calm her body's buzzing, but she couldn't without Denny. Her irritation bubbled under the surface of her skin and she immediately felt angry and vengeful. When she moved out to where he was, she did so with the intentions of something far from calming herself. She moved like a ghost, one pulling the ends of her sleeves into her hands, twisting them between her fingers. She had grown into a habit of hiding in oversized shirts, long sleeves and two sizes too big. Eating bothered Annie. In the shuffle of moving, she had somehow managed to push eating to the side. If she got through today it would be day two of skipping meals. Annie felt dizzy, but it was a familiar feeling. It was old though, because Annie hadn't pulled the fasting stunt since Boston, before she had met Denny. As soon as she moved it was bulimia more often than anorexia, but that didn't mean she hadn't done it before. Not eating at all just made her irritable and tired more than anything. And dizzy, her head felt like it was spinning circles. With all of that, Annie was turning into the perfect storm of irritation. 

She sat down next to him, and Denny's arm wrapped behind her shoulders. Annie made a face, irritated with his movements. 

Annie's mind was one way but her body pushed forward. Normally she would have just bottled up all of those emotions and make Denny make her feel better, but her bottle was broken and things were spilling and leaking. Her body lurched and Annie felt like she was someone else, merely watching this unfold. She didn't listen much to what he was saying, and she didn't pay much attention to what she was thinking. It was like a physical revolt for her. One knee moved over him so that she was facing him, and the other stayed on the other side so she was straddling him. "It's nice..." she said lightly, uninterested and uncaring about the topic of moving.

Annie leaned her head slightly to kiss Denny. At first it was light, and she wasn't sure why she was doing it, but then the feelings in her body caught up to that simple gesture, and sucked out all the meaning, and love. One would guess that what was left was lust, but not even that remained. It was just as hollow a gesture as talking about the weather. Then more of Annie caught up, the wolfish part that was dying to get out, and it plastered itself to Annie's features and actions. Her teeth dug into his bottom lip like his had to her's on valentine's day, but different. Harsher, less about love and more about... Annie was afraid of that answer. It wasn't lust, it wasn't obvious. It was about how she needed to get out, but she wouldn't. She didn't want to leave. Want and need were different things. She pulled back and her face was twisted with her torn demeanor. At a glance, she was normal looking, or how other people normally saw her as, anyway; irritated, detached, uninterested. That wasn't how she usually looked after kissing him though, of course. And her eyes showed that, like panic sitting softly on the edges of her iris's, the uneasiness that came with her body making decisions without her brain. 

She put her lips by his ear. "Denny," she said lightly "what would you do if I was pretty?" Unspoken words sat between the verbal ones, as visible as if they had been grotesquely obese elephants, or something. What if I was thinner, if I had the perfect everything. What if I didn't have bruises and burns and what if my hair wasn't so wild and what if all of me wasn't so wild? What would you do if I was so different? "Because then everyone would want me." The words themselves made it sound like she was settling for Denny, like she could do better, but not the way she said them. The emotions that burned in her voice were a reminder to the both of them of how much he meant to her. Even if everyone wanted Annie, she would never, ever leave Denver, even if someone put a gun to her head to make her step away; you just couldn't convince or force her. Her will and pride were much too strong to tear her away. 

She kissed his neck because she liked the warmth there. Wolves were about warm necks, because of the blood. She wasn't a vampire, it was just that your pulse always made your neck extra warm, and wolves liked necks for cuddling or killing. It all depended on whether you were looking for the comfort or the jugular. Annie was about comfort, so she kissed him lightly. 

There was always a difference between want and need. Right now, Annie wasn't sure what she needed to hear, but she knew what she wanted to hear. She wanted to hear that he would go crazy if anyone else looked at her, that he would get so jealous if anyone got to look at her for a second that he couldn't. She didn't know if he would say that. It would be out of character if he did, she guessed. Her mind wasn't thinking at that level though; she wasn't sure where it was. But she knew that she would find something wrong with his answers to either question. She would hunt down the flaws and get irritated quicker. But his hands, she wished he'd do something with them. She liked his finger tips down her spine, or weaving through her hair. She liked his hands dragging down her body or cupping her face, and she liked the way his arms always knew how to hold her perfectly, like that's all that they had been made to do, like she was flying for him. She was the air there, she was all that he needed. Annie liked all of those thoughts, but she just stayed quiet and closed her eyes, too many things happening. The irritation, want, and lack of food was giving her a horrid headache.




1482 -- look i was lazy so i took yer template yup. lyrics from transmit now and the image is from tumblrrr. -- ugh weird just weird. good.

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

I'M GONNA MAKE A MILLION DOLLARS
'cause no one's ever gonna steal you, no

Something was up, and Denny was not talking about the ceiling. If anything had happened in the last few days, Denny hadn’t noticed through the craziness that was moving Annie to his apartment, to their apartment now. Through the sudden feelings of being a really bad boyfriend for having not noticed anything, Denny could just tell that he’d missed so much because of the way Annie had turned the kiss into just……lips against lips. This wasn’t some amazing crash of passion, and it wasn’t even just a little, discreet peck to enforce meaning to anything. This was just….empty, and though his hands had started to travel wherever when the kiss had started, the abruptly stopped and fell to his sides, lightly brushing Annie’s knees upon their descent. He hadn’t even meant to just have his hands move like that, but when Annie’s mood shifted through the kiss, Denny’s followed. No longer was he laid back and relaxed (in some way); now Denny was worried and scared that he’d done something wrong. It was always his fault, especially when Denny was the one freaking out, and for some reason he actually felt like he could justify why anyone should blame him for this.

And then she pulled back and suddenly the blame was up in the air. Her question totally threw him off, and for a second Denny was completely baffled. He didn’t have an answer, because if he said one thing he was wrong – but if he said the other thing, he was still wrong. You couldn’t answer a question like that on your life, and if you could, you should be given a gold medal as far as Denny could think. He just didn’t know what to think. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know anything, except that Annie had just asked him what he would do if she were pretty. But she was; didn’t she see that? Didn’t Annie see that to Denny, she was more than just pretty? Pretty didn’t begin to cover it with Denny – and maybe that was the answer she was looking for. Then again, it wasn’t even that Denny would answer to please Annie’s ears; he’d answer honestly because that’s how he lived, that’s how he worked. It was like his wires weren’t put together in order to please anyone, but rather just to always tell the truth. And on that level, it wasn’t even a matter of intentions or meanings – it was the fact that Denny would rather have his spleen pulled out right in front of his eyes without any anesthetics than lie.

“If you were just pretty?” His face wasn’t twisted into a smile or a smirk, but rather just flat and emotionless, even though his eyes were otherwise. His eyes held the world before him, which really just consisted of Annie. The cat didn’t matter and the fact that, outside there were billions of other people around the globe didn’t matter. “Annie, if you were pretty, everything would be different.” Starting off that way might have been a bad idea. Denny didn’t care; his conscious was clear and he was going to speak whatever he was thinking. “If you were pretty, you’d be just like any other girl out there. You would have just been another girl looking for a good night the night I met you; if you didn’t look like you, nothing would have caught my eye.” Things had to have started off that way. If they hadn’t, Denny wouldn’t have even noticed Annie in the first place – and that wasn’t her fault even if Denny was notorious for blaming himself. This was his fault because of his state of mind he’d lived in before Annie. “Pretty doesn’t even begin to describe you, Annie, and I don’t know why you’d think it would.”

Denny sighed and stopped all thought, loving how easily he could take control of his mind. But that was a thought also, so Denny easily pushed it out of his attention and focused on Annie. His hands felt heavy, so he lifted them with too much energy and hid his exertion by placing each hand on one of Annie’s shoulders. “But if everyone wanted you, I’d lose my head. Annie, I can’t even think about anyone else wanting you the way I do. It hurts. Physically the only pain Denny felt was the one that her question had left in his heart. Honestly; it hurt so badly that if Denny could manifest the sound, he would have whimpered. But he stayed silent and suddenly his throat felt really dry and hoarse. He couldn’t figure out what else to say, what to make this weird mood lift and never come back down. But he knew that wouldn’t happen at the rate that he was taking them, and he knew to try and reverse it all he’d have to push through all of the impossibilities, he had to speak. “What is this all about, anyway?” He was just honestly curious. His hands felt from her shoulders to her elbows, then lower to her wrists until they just rested lightly there, no accusations being made and no questions being asked except for the one he’d made verbal.

He could see something in her eyes. It looked a lot like the yearning Denny felt when that itch acted up again. Now that he thought about that though, he could feel it. His hand left one of Annie’s wrists to scratch the inside of his arm where the need to have feathers started to burst into flames under his skin, and not the flames him and Annie particularly liked. His skin felt rubbery around his bones and his bones felt heavy within his body and his body felt too long and too squishy and too cold to be alive. He felt too human and his thoughts felt too human and his needs and wants felt too human and for the first time in his life, Denny realized how grossly domesticated he was. He felt almost like he hadn’t taken a shower in a month, or maybe that he hadn’t brushed his teeth in two weeks, or even that his hair hadn’t been brushed in a year. He just felt so gross and it made him want to puke all over himself just to give him an excuse to get outside and fly. But he couldn’t do that now, and with Annie on his mind, the itch didn’t bother him. It wasn’t there because he wasn’t thinking about it, so he kept his attention on Annie and sighed again. “Pretty,” he mumbled, ”is the understatement of the year.” He closed his eyes, sighed once more, and looked Annie dead in the eyes. “I worry about other people wanting you every day of my life, regardless of whether or not they think you’re pretty.”





1145 -- seren/annie only <3 -- okay i was too lazy to make an image so it goes to caution. words go to me. lyrics go to pierce the veil. -- not too happy with the word count but i'm happy with the content.

[ANNABELLE MARIE HURLEY]

this is all i've got baby am i all you want
BECAUSE I'LL BE YOUR FAVORITE MISTAKE.

Annie wondered how Denny always said the right things. He seemed to do it flawlessly, and to be truthful, that bothered her. It had been the wrong thing, it had been words she didn't want to hear, and yet... his words worked perfectly. The placement of them stirred up some kind of irritation in her, but she wasn't sure what it was for, it was just... there. Denny's eyes kept trying to catch her's and Annie felt small under his gaze, like she was shrinking to avoid the eye contact. Annie was having a difficult time comprehending though, and she merely stored his words for later. They were heavy and meaningful, but right now they just wouldn't hold much consistency for her, with the mood she was in. Her response would be twisted and stupid, so she would just wait for when she could carry the full weight.

Annie pulled back, Denny's fingers keeping a firm pressure on her wrist and reminding her not to pull back too far. She sat back, on his knees, kind of. Her thighs ran the length of his, against them, and her own knees stopped at his hips. It left her close to him but she sat straight, leaning over him somewhat because he was sitting flat on the couch and Annie was kneeling on his legs, with particularly good posture. She looked him in the eye. "Why didn’t you tell the redhead, then?" she said hotly, suddenly surprised at where that had come from.

Annie knew very well what she looked like, or at least how she perceived herself.

Her hair was tangled and chopped at odd intervals, and it was a thousand different colors, perpetually wind blown. Everything about her just wasn't right. This thing was too big, that thing too small, this too damaged, that too unused. Annie didn't find herself pretty inside or out, and she didn't realized she wanted an answer to the former, too. Denny always told her if she was so terrible, then he was terrible for loving her. Annie felt that way all the time, like she had ruined something so good. She didn't understand that he was just so good to her. No one else could have filled her spot. Along the way, some sort of narcism they Annie didn't know she possessed had swooped in and taken the worry from that. It came back with a crippling blow, and she felt absolutely winded from it. It made the rest of her feel just as bad. And then there were the scars. When Annie looked at them, she felt two things. First was the disgust she always felt when she say them, and the second was the paralyzing tide of emotions that had come with Denny pressing his lips against them.

Her words hadn’t made that much sense, though. Where had she suddenly pulled the witch from? Honestly, it hung in her mind constantly. She could see her in her mind’s eye, constantly. Annie was so different from her. Every bit of her was, from the inside out. She compared herself to the other girl, the pretty contrast of her orange hair against perfect, porcelain skin. Annie just had this brown and tan. If you were a shifter, it was obvious to you that she was one. Hell, if you just knew that shifters existed, you knew Annie was one. She was too obvious with the way she acted and the way she talked, and everything she did. She was always out of place; even somewhere like Denny’s lap she was just… odd. She was too weird to be sitting there, and it bothered her. Suddenly, she felt very small, and she felt her body collide all at once.

She felt like her skin was literally crawling over her skin, like it was actually moving to new areas of her body. Her burns, well, burned. It felt like someone had dumped scalding water on her body, but only in those spots. Her fingers shook more, and the hand that had Denny’s hand on it suddenly jumped and grabbed his wrist, and she held too hard to the bones there. She felt like she was in a mental earthquake and she needed something to brace herself with and she chose her body. She barely moved but she felt like her trembling has escalated to the point of convulsing. And between her ribs, her stomach cried out in this atrocious growl that was sure to damn her.




750 -- look i was lazy so i took yer template yup. lyrics from transmit now and the image is from tumblrrr. -- hello shitty word count.

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

I'M GONNA MAKE A MILLION DOLLARS
'cause no one's ever gonna steal you, no

Denny would eventually have to learn that a lack of shifting would eventually end with this horrible, irritable mindset that could be so set off that the monster would take control and leave only Denny’s memories, voice, and eyes to guide its decisions. It would only be a matter of time before that actually happened, before Denny totally lost it and said or did something he’d regret later. Irritation would build up, tension would weigh on his shoulders, his blood would pump faster and his heart would beat in the same manner. His head would start to hurt and before he was too agitated, he’d lose control of his body and its functions. Soon enough, his being would be pure, raw monster, totally animalistic and predatory and selfish. But Denny didn’t know that, even though he should have. He should have seen something much like that instance coming, especially with how worn out and irritated he already felt. Maybe he didn’t see that because this irritation was just because of Annie not seeing what he saw, of her not listening to what he said. His mind was too tired to process to many things at once, which was definitely detrimental in a situation like this.

“What?” he asked, mostly because he just couldn’t wrap his mind around her question. Thoughts of flying and feathers and the sun close to his wings floated through his mind, and nothing else seemed to matter at that moment. Denny would never verbally admit that, especially with knowing Annie’s constantly fragile mental state. He had to be careful, but it was becoming increasingly hard to be so with the thoughts of being outside in the air filled his mind. Annie’s face before his own eyes starts shifting into pools of dark clouds, a challenge against his wings as long as he flew against the wind. Her hair became long, tangled branches of a huge tree that looked as if it might engulf Denny whole, but as if he was watching a video game being played, he dogged the limbs of the tree and flew past her. The world didn’t exist again, but this was in a very different sense. This was like Denny had reached a sixth sense of his body, mostly because he could feel the wind pushing so hard on his limbs that he almost had to give up and go home. He could see the sun fighting those dark clouds in the way Annie’s eyes resembled jewels. Denny was just lost in this dream world, almost as if he were lucidly dreaming, and the effects of the dream wore on him even more. When he pulled back into reality, he felt so tired and worn out and utterly useless that he could have just been pushed against the couch and he would have passed out.

But his tiredness and his utter lack of attention just irritated him more. His pores started to open (or at least they felt like they were opening), and he’d realized he hadn’t breathed through that entire daydream. His breath caught up in a heavy, rapid pattern, almost as if he was mad. That irritated him for no reason. The question Annie had asked came back around, which was just icing on the fucking cake. His face turned down completely, and his veins felt like they were going to explode. “I didn’t owe her any fucking explanations.” Denny was so irritated by now that his mind was splitting, and it fucking hurt. That piled on top of everything else, and the fact that Annie was asking questions that were obviously answered in a way that Denny didn’t need to think to find an answer (though that was confusingly redundant) just added more. The more he thought about it all, the more his head felt like exploding, and the more his body was reacting. The transition between semi-sane and insane was fast approaching, and Denny could feel it. He didn’t fear it though; he was ready to embrace it if it meant not feeling like a useless shitbag. Denny suddenly felt the familiar hot chill (though that was an oxymoron within itself) that the monster left as it slipped into his mind, and he knew if anything else happened it would take over for a while, swim around in his skin, and control what he did. That was when the realization slipped in – the one we’d made in the beginning – the one that was easily avoidable had it been realized earlier.

“The redhead means nothing, and an ugly personality doesn’t make up for a pretty face.” Well, that was the very wrong thing to say, and the instant Denny started to feel some sort of hatred for even thinking it, the monster took the opportunity to use vulnerable Denny to its advantage. It slipped down from his head into his neck, the split off at his shoulders in three directions. One side dipped down into his right hand, the other into his left, and the rest down to the tip of his toes until Denny was no longer Denny, but rather a hideous beast in the shell of a half-bird human. Adrenaline pumped through the body, but Denny didn’t feel it against the impact of the monster’s hot chill against his veins, organs, and mind. His hand that wasn’t under Annie’s clutch grabbed her other hand and held on for dear life it seemed, only hard enough to hurt on the surface. The monster was ruthless this time, as if it had a score to settle with the girl that had gotten away from it the last time. The monster hoped its hold scared Annie; it hoped she knew it was there in place of her boyfriend. Denny knew he had no control over himself anymore, and he felt there was no reason to waste energy to try and fight it off; he wouldn’t win even if he wanted to with how tired he’d been when he had been in control.

The monster smirked, but Denny was horribly panicked beneath its new surface. Don’t listen to me, Annie! Don’t listen to a word I say! he shouted, but she couldn’t hear him because his mouth didn’t move. His voice wouldn’t come, and so really he was just shouting in his head, which was suddenly an empty void because of how worried he was. Without his self control in place, the monster had the potential to ruin his life just as easily as it had slipped into control. It said, “You and the witch had something in common.” Denny didn’t recognize his own voice. It sounded too deep, too scratch to really have been his, and it irritated him that he couldn’t even try to fight if he wanted to. He did manage to pick up a fist that didn’t actually move; what really happened was that Denny picked up his own fist in his mind while the Monster held control of his tangible fist. Denny clenched his fingers closed and swung at the monster, but obviously not hard enough to push it out of the way – not even for a slight second. The Monster went on. “At least at one point, the both of you were whores.” Again, Denny swung. He pushed with all of his strength, but still the monster didn’t even flinch. It did, however, retaliate. It pushed backwards, into Denny’s mind, and left a huge bruise around his eye. Quickly it turned black and blue and instantly it hurt twice as badly as his headache had just before.

Denny had stopped watching through the one eye that he could see through, so he hadn’t seen the hand flying to his face until the nails were so close to his eyes that he could practically feel the seeping into the sockets. Suddenly there was a sharp, hard pain on his cheek, which the monster let weigh Denny down even further. So not only was it after Annie, but it was after Denny, too. It sent horrible verbal blows to Annie and took even worse physical tolls on Denny’s body. He knew they’d follow him out of this mental state he was stuck in somehow, like something right out of a syfy movie. But before Denny could care about that, Annie was off of his lap and running for the door, though Denny knew she had nowhere to go anymore. Except for maybe Abby’s house, Annie had no other place to look for comfort besides Denny, and he was the very reason for her discomfort which in turn served as twice as much discomfort on Denny’s part considering he was horribly beaten. A surge of something Denny didn’t understand went through his mind, and suddenly he was kicking the monster out of control almost too easily. Before he had a chance to even leave the couch he was already growing out talons, his mouth and nose morphing into one and elongating outwards into a hooked beak. His clothes fell off in the hallway into the kitchen as his arms shortened and grew into hollow-boned feathered wings. Before he made it to his bedroom, Denny was already in the shape of a rather large Hawk, which was new considering he preferred being a Vulture. He needed speed though, not agility and patience.

Soon enough, and yet not so, Denny was outside, sitting on his roof, looking for Annie with the hawk’s eye, which served a new purpose. Instead of peeking out for something that had died, Denny’s new eyes were searching for something small and running, and instead of finding Annie, he managed to find a little field mouse scurrying across the cold sidewalks. That would do for now. He swooped down with this new wingspan and picked up the mouse with a new ease, killing it on impact. His beak easily crushed its neck even further with a new strength he’d never known as a vulture. Atop his apartment building, Denny enjoyed the taste of the dead animal, not even giving his human conscious a second thought. When the animal was all but gone completely, Denny turned from it and peered out onto the streets that he could see of the city. He searched for a wolf form or Annie’s form, but in a state of defeat he realized she was in a place that Denny couldn’t see from his roof. He didn’t know if she’d come back, but he could only hope she would and that she would forgive him for the things the monster had said. Suddenly, though he hadn’t let it before, his guilt set in and his bird form drooped a bit into this depressed stance, not that of a Hawk at all. Another, larger bird could have come by and grabbed up Denny with the vulnerability he was showing at that point. He had to get inside and get dressed before something that like that actually happened, even though he technically deserved it.

Picking up his wings, Denny glided down from the roof to the window of his room, flying past the bed as to not put even more holes in his comforter. He shifted back and all at once his eye started pounding again. His whole body ached, and not in the glorious way it did after sex. He felt too tired to do anything, but he managed to push himself enough to pull on a pair of boxer briefs before slipping into his bed. He pulled his blanket all the way up over his shoulder and brought his legs in, bending them at the knees until they couldn’t bend anymore. Within seconds – not minutes – he was asleep. His mind shut off for just a few seconds before it was active in an unrealistic manner. His dream just consisted of words of apologetic manners, all meant for Annie and all meant to try and fix things considering he’d made them even worse by giving in to the monster. He tossed and turned for hours, not even waking up once – not even to see the sunset. His lips felt sore and his body felt tattered and beaten. His mind felt heavy and the blanket around him seemed to hold the only type of solace, even with him deeply into a dreamland. It just seemed that Denny couldn’t escape the events of the day, even with his eyes closed and his mind shut off from the rest of the world. All the words in his dream sent him into an hysterical fit of crying at one point before Annie came back, but still he didn’t wake up. Tears fell from his eyes directly onto his pillow, and not even that was enough to pull his tired body out of the trance. He’d rather have had it that way, to be honest.




2138 -- seren/annie only <3 -- okay i was too lazy to make an image so it goes to caution. words go to me. lyrics go to pierce the veil. -- OP DENNY YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE.

[ANNABELLE MARIE HURLEY]

this is all i've got baby am i all you want
BECAUSE I'LL BE YOUR FAVORITE MISTAKE.

Annie didn't understand everything that was happening as she watched him. Her irritation was dissipating into the pit of her stomach and in it's place, her body was filled with caution. His hand grabbed her's, and hard. She made a face at the feeling and pulled a little, but he didn't give. That injected panic into the caution and suddenly Annie was worried, and a little scared. Curiosity compelled her to stay as he continued talking. She regretted that nearly instantly, and pulled her arm back, hard, slapping him across the face, harder. You and the witch had something in common. At least at one point, the both of you were whores. She hoped his face would swell, that angry red marks would stay on his face all day, and that the open-handed hit would sting. She wanted it to leave a mark, and as unlikely as it would be, she wanted to see a bruise there tomorrow. Annie was suddenly so angry that she couldn't see. Tears stung her eyes and Denny had set whole body felt on fire, but in a different way than he usually did. Fury burned through all of her, and she put her hands against his chest, pushing herself off of him. She was suddenly so disgusted with him that words didn't quite work. Her mind wasn't working and her face was twisted up, and she felt so trapped. She ignored it and just got out. Out the door, down the hall, out the door. Annie was a runner, it was the thing she did when she didn't know what else to do, wolf or not. 

A block or two later, when the cold air had stolen her breath, Annie stopped. Anger pumped through her still, and she was unable to come to terms with what Denny said. She was just angry, and kind of lost. She had absolutely no where to go, except to Denny. Even if she had somewhere else to go, she would want to go to him, she would want the comfort he gave her. No questions asked, just pulling her close and insisting everything would be okay. That wasn't in the cards this time, though, and Annie felt lost without that option. Denver had given her so much, and she had gotten used to it so quickly. She would be so broken without him. She couldn't get to the point of feeling sad and upset about it though. Her body just pumped with inhuman needs and thoughts, and her words started mashing with just feelings until she knew she needed to get as far from town as she could before her body gave in to the animal needs. So then she started running and she didn't have as much time as she would like. Denny lived much closer to the city than she did; he was a bird, no one would be suspicious of him. Annie had lived in a small apartment in the cottage area, where every backyard had woods. It was easy for a quick shift. She got far enough where the roads had woods on the sides, so Annie went into them and then just stopped holding back everything, but didn't stop running. She ran out of her clothes, long skinny legs pulling out of her sleeves when she launched into a stride, and then her little body slipped through the neck of her shirt easily, the long train of her body following after. 

It had been too long since Annie had shifted into a kalak. She'd been much more favorable to wolves and coyotes recently, and she wasn't sure why. The familiar feeling of this form was all the comfort she needed that she couldn't get from Denny. She pushed that thought out, though; this was not a place to think of him. Annie's shifting was different than most shifters. She wasn't half wolf, half Annie. She was a wolf, that's all. She was this russet colored bullet weaving through trees, not thinking about things like boyfriends and insults. She was a wolf, who just thought about how nice the sun was and how if she didn't keep running she felt like she would die. She ran as long as she could, and then she ran more. Hours. She didn't stop, and only slowed once. She felt pine needles and moss when she ran through forests, and ivy and gravel as she ripped over empty yards, the houses' occupants away at the work day. She tore across asphalt, through parking lots in little towns. She stopped caring if people were seeing her, because she was out of an area as soon as she was in one. She ran until her feet hurt, and then ran some more. 

The only time she slowed was when she got closer to Harwich, and by what had been her apartment. She headed down the path she had been admiring on valentine's day, and let the flowers brush her far-reaching back. Maned wolf stilts let everything brush against her, low hanging ivy and hydrangea bushes to far reaching grasses that only bent slightly. She sighed deeply. Her anger was gone and she was just very animal, and very mellowed out. She stopped at the end of the trail, watching the beach unfolding before her. It was a sunny day, so it wasn't like she could step on it; people littered it, even if it was too cold to go into the water. The over-grown path shielded her from their view. Another deep breath, laced with all the different flower scents, and Annie turned away. She took her time back through the path, but as soon as she was into a wooded area she ignored the protest of her muscles and the groan of her bones and pressed forward, running to where she had shifted in the small foresty area by Denny's. The sun was just going down, and she was tired. She didn't have anywhere to be, and now that she had stopped to think about things, she realized how much her feet hurt and how much she just wanted to lay down and make them not hurt. So she did, laying by her clothes and tucking her long legs up under herself and curling as tight as the stretched body of a kalak would let her. She tucked her tail over, the edges of it tickling her nose. Another sigh, and she fell asleep quickly, not really caring about the vulnerability of sleeping. 

When she woke up, it was very dark. She yawned a wolf yawn and stretched her legs and almost whimpered with how much everything hurt. She grinder her teeth when she shifted back. As soon as she was up she got hit with a wave on naseua and got so dizzy she thought she was going to fall over. Today would be day three of no food and it was taking a toll. This hurt a lot, and when she looked at her hands they were skinned and bloody, enough to probably lead to scabs eventually. Her feet where the same and she realized she wasn't wearing shoes. A limp would match nice enough. She put her clothes on painfully because her whole body ached from the overexertion from hours before. And it was a cold walk back to Denny's. She walked inside and was shaking and all of her body hurt and it just wasn't a good situation at all. She started to wince with each step. She knew he would be in the bedroom, and she didn't want to see him, but she wanted to sleep, so that's where she went. She pushed open the door quietly, and walked in. She found his bedroom more opening than her's had ever been, and she felt overwhelmed with everything that had happened in here, and not just the sex, but the words after it. She crawled into bed, and turned her back to him, leaving generous space between them. Annie could hear him breathing, and just of the sound of his body would have brought her to her knees if she had been standing. Every atom in her body ached to be against all of his but she wouldn't let herself because if she looked at him she would see his lips and she would think about the last things she has seen them say and she didn't know what she would do. 

Thinking about that though, she saw it in her mind's eye and it brought back all the feelings she had pressed aside. She felt the horror, the shock, and then tears. She hated crying, but it started, and she put her hands over her mouth. The heat of her breath stung the open sores. She just closed her eyes and soon she was uncontrollable a hysterical fit of crying and sobs that probably shook the bed. She pulled her knees to her chest and tucked her head to her chest so her forehead was touching her knees, and Annie cried long and hard. She couldn't hold any of it in, and her emotions spilled over and Annie felt so sick suddenly. 

She didn't want to cry because she hated crying. She felt so vulnerable. She felt more vulnerable than she had on the beach, all her anger had dripped away, and she couldn't be mad at anything. She could only be hurt, really, really hurt. Pain ripped through her chest, and she made it vocal. She had put her hands over her mouth in an effort to stay quiet, but now she forgot that Denny was even in the room. Her shriek cut through like a wail and she was just this mess. 

Denny's words were stuck in her head, and she couldn't shake that out, she could see him saying that, could hear his voice much too clearly for her liking. Whore. It seemed so surreal, like she was making it all up. That word just seemed too fake, and Annie felt like it hadn't been in Denny's vocabulary. That made it seem more surreal, too. It was the truth, though, Annie wouldn't deny it. She had been; almost too much going on and she hadn't even cared. That didn't make it better though, especially coming from Denny's lips. She had been called that by an immeasurable amount of people, but Denny promised he would never say that, that he never thought that about her. It stung like hornets against her chest. Did he lie, then? What other things did he say didn't bother him that did? Everything seemed shaky now, and her faith felt faulty. Denny had been everything she believed in, and with one underhand insult she wished she could take it all back. 

But she simply couldn't; she loved him too much. 

As much as every instinct was telling her to, she just couldn't give it all up. If her life were a movie, the audience would be yelling at her to go spend the night at Abby's, not crawl back to his bed. If anyone else had their boyfriend call them a whore, they probably would have broken up with them. But not Annie. She physically couldn't do it. Her body would break down without him, everything would go to shit without him. As angry as she had been, love didn't just go away. She wanted his hands through her hair and on her back and holding her close. She wanted him to kiss her a million times and tell her everything was alright. She always wanted that, it never changed. She bit her lip because she didn't want to cry, but her body didn't listen and continued on with moans. Annie felt the sounds vibrate against her lips, but she didn't feel like she was making them. Annie was like a wild animal then, like those stories about the guys that got lions when they were cubs, and then they raised them, but they came back... or something like that. But Annie was actually more like a half-starved wild dog that had been forced by instinctual need to come here, like Denny was the food and shelter she needed, and the slightest movement would send her running. There were still so many kalak qualities sitting in her manner, like the way she was curled up was the way she had slept, how she just kind of still held herself like an animal, looking like little kids did when they played animal games, and she just did it all subconsciously.  She just felt torn between the need to run - even if she was so tired and had used up so much energy that her stomach was practically trying to claw it's way out - and the need to stay. 

Staying won over; it always did when Denny was involved.


2,142 -- look i was lazy so i took yer template yup. lyrics from transmit now and the image is from tumblrrr. -- sad.

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

I'M GONNA MAKE A MILLION DOLLARS
'cause no one's ever gonna steal you, no

Denny was so lucid, he felt like this dream was becoming reality. It wasn’t even really a dream to him – Denny had long since thought of what went through his mind as merely a figment of his imagination. It seemed these days that when he dreamt, it was a premonition – whether direct or otherwise. So to Denny, even in this state of physical rest (though mental rest didn’t really fall into this static state of being), dreaming these words held some sort of future-telling prophecy behind each word. Even in this dream sequence he knew what had to happen, but he couldn’t pull himself out of this inception in order to try and find a starting point. His eyes wouldn’t open and his body only moved from side to side, which he was somehow aware of. It was like he was asleep, but mentally he was wide awake, almost watching every move his body made. It wore him out more than flying did, and honestly Denny just wanted to force his body to wake up and sprout wings again. It was useless to want that much, but Denny didn’t know how to stop anymore. His mind searched for a way out of the words, as if the monster was taunting and haunting him even in his sleep now.

Thankfully, whatever it was that was holding onto his mind let go. A light switch was shut off to the south end and suddenly images became blurry and nonexistent anymore. His mind was blank, so for a while he just tossed a bit restlessly, as if something within his mindlessness just knew he’d wake up and have to apologize. He was ready to do it though, knowing full well the weight of what he’d done. He hadn’t meant to call her a wh- Denny couldn’t even bring himself to think it even if his mind was shut off for a few hours. He hadn’t meant for that to slip out – he hadn’t even meant for it to have been a thought. But, to be justified and fair, it hadn’t been a thought of his. It had been a thought of the monster’s, which meant that the monster could access his mind easily, see his memories and the past that Denny had been through in a manner that made it all too comical and entertaining for the being. Though Denny couldn’t really think through the sleep he had fallen into, he knew he had to figure out a way to keep the monster from infiltrating the way it was so used to. He had to find a way to out-smooth, out-pace it to keep it from taking over the way it had today in front of Annie. He would never, ever be able to afford another slip up like that – Denny would never let it happen again.

After what seemed like a lifetime, but was rather just a few hours, Denny felt the bed shift. His mind slowly started up again, but his body stayed facing the wall to the small hallway into his bathroom. His mind was alert and listened in a well as it could with the heaviness of being woken up on top of it. He could hear Annie crying, and in his desperation to wake his body up to try and fix things, Denny reached out one of his hands about three or four and a half inches towards the wall, but still nothing happened. He laid like that, with his arm out and his eyes closed, until Annie shrieked so loudly that the bed shook. That was when his body decided to cooperate; he sat up straight immediately. His arm still stuck straight out, but without much thought needed, Denny’s body was twisting around at an alarming rate. He resembled an owl with the way his head turned first, then his torso, then the rest of his body. He moved so quickly across the bed that his finger almost got caught in one of the holes left from his talons. The feeling of being nearly weightless returned to his body, and for once in the last twenty-four hours, Denny felt like his old bird-like self. His bones felt light and his face felt sun-kissed, and not in the tanning manner. His muscles felt relaxed but toned and his mind felt not nearly as vulnerable to succumbing to the monster. He felt good, but that was only meant on a physical level. Mentally he was a mess, and he was quick to blame himself again instead of initially blaming the monster.

The first thing he did upon being close enough to Annie was to hesitantly lay a hand on her arm. He was scared that one move of his would send her running, which was the last thing he wanted to see twice in the same day. Annie was all he had, he reminded himself, and if he blew it now, he blew it forever. Denny had to be careful, but he had to remind himself to be assertive and have some faith in Annie at the same time. Conflictions started to stack up in his mind, but Denny was all but focused on those. He had to try and fix what he’d broken, forgetting the fact that the monster had actually done the damage. Annie didn’t know about the monster – he’d never told her. It wasn’t that Denny was keeping it a secret, but the right conversation had never aroused between the two of them for Denny to have an opportunity to express the helplessness he felt that came along with losing himself to the monster. He didn’t really have the space to break down like that with Annie; Denny always had to be the strong, stable one between the two of them. The problem was just the monster – it made him mentally unstable and physically violent when it came along, tearing Denny’s usual calm, lax demeanor in two and causing him to lash out at the smallest, most minute details of every situation.

But knowing that instability didn’t make this any easier. It made it harder for Denny to figure things out, so his words of alarm and utter wordlessness weren’t necessarily redundant. “Annie,” he said, instantly seeing her tears and because of that, feeling his own tears forming under his heavy eyes. His hand on her arm pulled lightly, just enough to pull her closer to him without hurting her the way the monster had grabbed onto her before. He was still hesitant, just incase something set her off and she ran and left him for good, but this time he stayed calm and assertive through the emotions running through his entire being. “Oh, God Annie.” Denny let two tears fall down his face, hating himself more than ever for anything he had or hadn’t said (and to him, he didn’t count what the Monster had said). To Denny, the things that had hurt Annie the most were the things he hadn’t said, but he couldn’t explain that to her and have Annie understand it in the state she was so obviously going to be stuck in. He could try to get her to understand he was sorry, because he was, but he couldn’t tell her about the monster – he couldn’t just come out and say he was crazy and had some psycho alter-ego like she would believe it. “I’m so sorry,” he said. It was all he could force through the emotions, through the tears. Somehow I didn’t mean to say that just didn’t seem like it would serve enough justice.

Again, Denny gently pulled on Annie and just brought her closer, just trying to calm both himself and her down. It didn’t really work, at least not for Denver, and his tears and hiccups kept coming. He tried to calm himself with the thought that Annie was there, that he didn’t have to worry about her getting lost or never coming back, but that did very little. The fact that she was so upset because of him was really eating away at his confidence – whatever was left of it. It literally hurt him knowing that this was his fault, that he couldn’t just say a few words and have everything be a-okay. Annie was too hurt, which was obvious to Denny, for that to happen. And in another view of the situation, Denny was too conflicted to have something so easy fall into his lap. All he could do was kiss whatever he could find (since his eyes had closed in an attempt to stop the overflow of tears) and repeat those four words. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” They came in three’s. After every third chant, Denny had to stop, breathe, kiss another part of Annie’s face, and rebuild himself into speaking again. It was hard to do, but Denny had vowed to make everything okay – and he intended to do so no matter the curveballs thrown at him.

“I’m so sorry, Annie.” His tears and his crying weren’t as bad as Annie’s was at that point, but he still couldn’t regain control of this wave of emotion that hit him every few seconds. He didn’t know how to surf, which made riding all of this out nearly impossible since he didn’t have anyone to teach him how to. This day had just royally sucked, and all Denny could do was intend to make everything better, though he knew the memory of what he’d said wouldn’t just disappear any time soon. But to try and make it easier, to get back to sleep and to just have Annie forgive him, he had to try everything he could think of. “I love you,” he said, though that wasn’t exactly the point he was trying to make. She knew he loved her. It wasn’t like Denny didn’t think that Annie wouldn’t necessarily believe it this time, considering what he’d let the monster say, but Denny’s entire body knew he was telling the truth. “I swear I didn’t mean any of what I said.” He needed to hiccup. His nose started to hurt. His eyes were so wet they felt like overused towels. His throat just felt scratched and tight, like someone had stuck knives down it and pulled them out too fast. He had to keep going though. “None of it. It was all the monster.” He had lost control of what he was saying, at least on a level where his filter was working. The filter had turned off and the only thing Denny could keep a conscious hold on was the thought that he needed to make this right.

The only thing left to say was, “I know that it hurt, and I’m so sorry I broke my promise.”




1800 -- seren/annie only <3 -- okay i was too lazy to make an image so it goes to caution. words go to me. lyrics go to pierce the veil. -- WOOOOOO HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY BABY. I LOVE YOU.

[ANNABELLE MARIE HURLEY]

this is all i've got baby am i all you want
BECAUSE I'LL BE YOUR FAVORITE MISTAKE.

She listened to him move but she couldn't stop the way that she was feeling. Annie felt like she had been pushed too far, and it kept getting worse. Her crying wouldn't stop... well, not much of anything would stop. Her breathing was messed up and her mind wasn't computing things right, and all Annie could do about it was cry, and cry, and cry, and cry. It was difficult for her to do much else. She shook terribly. Denny laid his hand against her, and she heard his words but didn't open her's, or look at him. She just stayed like that, curled up and crying. She felt stuck in that little ball, like nothing could drag her out of it. Apologies. Annie didn't want those. They meant absolutely nothing to her, and he could say them all day long forever and Annie wouldn't swallow them the way he wanted her to. She didn't know how, and this was a line that he had crossed and Annie couldn't forgive him for. Forgive was so far from what she had in plan, and she just didn't want any part of it. He pulled her closer again, keeping the apologies coming. Annie felt limp in his arms, and just let him move her like a doll, flipping her around as he pulled her close. Her limbs didn't feel like hers, and she just kept crying. She wailed and moaned and just let him kiss her.

The words kept coming, sorry sorry sorry sorry, over and over again and Annie twisted her face up. She almost attempted to talk through her tears but she didn't know how well it would work, and he stopped the sorry's and tried talking some more. She felt like his words were just paint, spilling all over her and getting stuck on her skin and getting stuck on everything and she just wanted to push it off, push him off. She wanted to squirm in his arms, she wanted scream at him and she hated his lips on her skin. Annie felt like her skin was peeling from his touch. At the same time, though, there was nothing but Denny. There was nothing else that Annie wanted more than his lips and his arms and his apologies. There was nothing more that Annie wanted than sitting in his bed and feeling him hold her close. There was nothing she wanted more than to feel his breath on her face, listen to the worried, agitated pattern of his breathing. That's all she needed, but at the same time it was what was pushing her too far.

The apologies continued, everything continued, everything and he tried to get her to listen. Annie couldn't. She pulled her head away from his lips and leaned her head back, so that her neck pushed against him because she'd wormed herself closer. I know that it hurt, and I’m so sorry I broke my promise. But he didn't know how much it hurt. He didn't know what he had done. So much more than what he could have ever imagined was what he inflicted. Annie found herself angry at how he underestimated everything. She found herself wanting to scream at how he thought that would fix it all, on how that simple sorry, I know it hurt, I'm sorry I broke my promise. No. That didn't work at all, in any way. And promises didn't work so well. Annie kept crying, nearly hysterical and completely inconsolable. "You said you didn't care," she wailed "You said you didn't even think that!" the pitch of her voice raised to a scream and she pushed herself closer to him again, and buried her face against his skin. It calmed her a little, pressing her body against his bare chest, but that didn't stop her from crying and it didn't stop the shaking.

Annie couldn't stop that, she didn't know how long it would last. She wanted to scream and cry and shake forever and she didn't know what to do about anything. She had been pushed so far off a ledge that she couldn't be given a rope up, and she was just falling. She didn't know how to recover from any of it and it just left her so very worried and distraught. So her body moved like that and Annie couldn't stop anything. "You said you think that," she moaned again, distracted by herself. It sounded like everything was starting to die down and Annie was beginning to relax... or at least calm down enough to not be so hysterical. But then it changed "You lied!" she screamed. It was a shriek that, although muffled by his collarbones, was still so shrill. "You lied, Denny, you lied." She wanted to say it again and again but she didn't know how. "You lied to me, you said you didn't think that, and you said you didn't lie." She didn't know if he could understand her words though, because her tears wouldn't stop and her chest sunk in and expanded too much with these wild intakes of breath. All Annie knew was that she felt like the foundation of everything was changing under her feet. It was an earth quake. She didn't know what to hold on to anymore, so she just wrapped her arms around Denny, because he was the only constant in her life. Even if he was always moving around and everything went back and forth, even if nothing ever stopped he was the one thing Annie could rely on. Even in her anger and hysterics, she knew that.

Annie's breathing didn't even, but she didn't say anything else. Any illusion (lol allusion) of her calming down was broken, however, when her grip on him tightened and her nails dug into his back, probably leaving half-moons stuck in his skin. She didn't know if it hurt, but she had an idea that it might because she was driving her nails into his skin. Annie just didn't know what do do, and it hurt her head. Everything was hurting her, and she buried her head against Denny, still moaning softly with all her different crying sounds. There weren't actually tears anymore, but she still had dry sobs that choked her throat and made her want to hiccup.



1054 -- look i was lazy so i took yer template yup. lyrics from transmit now and the image is from tumblrrr. -- bleg

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

I'M GONNA MAKE A MILLION DOLLARS
'cause no one's ever gonna steal you, no

I don’t. She was right to scream that at him, only on a certain level. Denny tried not to take what she was saying to heart because he wasn’t really deserving of it. The monster was. He tried with all that he could to push the words at the monster in the same manner that he’d pushed his mental fist at it, the way it had punched him so hard in the eye from the outside without lifting a physical finger. He wanted to shove those thoughts, those screaming words at the monster. Maybe it would go away forever, and even if it did would Denny feel complete still? Although it obviously caused problems in his life, the monster was a part of him, so to find a way to get rid of it would be finding a way to extract a whole side of him self and sending it to someone else. It would almost be like having a lobotomy done. Denny just wouldn’t be the same person without the monster – at least he felt that way. He felt like it found parts of his personality, parts of his anatomy in ways that no one and nothing else could because it essentially was a part of him; it had connections to those parts of him that no one and nothing else could reach because of the fact that it was connected to him.

But that didn’t mean that explaining all of that to Annie was going to be easy, especially not with what happened today. Speaking on terms of the previous paragraph, Denny was essentially mad at himself for what the monster had said; speaking on terms of specific blame, he was mad at the monster. It was a hard decision to make – which side to be more mad at, especially with Annie’s screaming against him. It wasn’t that he found it annoying, because he knew he’d done something wrong, but it was making his choices harder and harder to make. He didn’t really have that many choices in the first place – and what made his mind even more mixed up was the constant mixed signals from the girl in his arms. He’d pulled Annie into the place she belonged – or so Denny believed that place to be so – and she’d grabbed onto him, though she was screaming and accusing him rightly. His mind couldn’t tell if he was forgiven or not, though his logical pathway in his mind was telling him he wasn’t. He had to understand that this was just Annie – that she clung to the constants in her life. But that wasn’t Denny ; he didn’t grasp quite simple concepts the first time they were introduced to him. He looked them over and let them go, not holding onto the basic base of the action or thought. That was actually quite like the fact that Annie didn’t stop or recognize that he’d spoken about the monster, but because of that, Denny took it as an opportunity to speak freely and blame it solely.

Denny’s hiccupping became less and less but his mind still wasn’t anywhere near calm. His tears started to lighten up, mostly because his eyes were so dry they started to itch. His lungs still begged for air but his throat was still raspy and clawed at, making words and breath extremely difficult. He had to suck that up and get on with it, try to calm Annie down to a point where he could explain everything, but he didn’t think that was going to be possible. His self confidence was shot completely, like a window made of glass that had a large bullet aimed right at it. The bullet had fired, and the glass had shattered. The wall he’d built up to support his confidence – not particularly to keep anyone out, though – had fallen, leaving his sense of self-assurance to flit about before it had fallen to the ground and split into a million pieces, all flying in their own direction. He had nothing to tell him that he was right, nothing but intuition to lead him through decision making and how he held himself up. Maybe that was enough for some situations, but one like this? Not nearly.

“I don’t.” His voice was so soft it was nearly a whisper, but that was mostly because his throat hurt more than his eyes did. “I don’t think that way and I don’t think about the past – your past. It doesn’t matter to me because I’m here and you’re here – that is that matters to me.” He couldn’t seem to breathe anymore. Denny sucked in as much air as he could, but his throat throbbed in time with his pulse and burned from the action. Denny winced, but not because of Annie’s nails. He could handle that – having wings sprout of your body wasn’t exactly the most comfortable thing in the world, after all. He winced because of the pain in his throat, because of the way his lungs needed more and more air but he just couldn’t find it. His body was fighting itself instead of his mind this time around. Denny just sucked in more air and let his body take the beating that breathing came along with. He deserved it. “There’s just.” But what did he say? What could Denny say to get Annie to understand he’d lost himself like he had the day after Thanksgiving? Denny didn’t know how to explain himself calmly and clearly without sounding crazier than Annie. He was slightly scared that if he told her about this second personality, she’d have him put in an asylum and run away, never to be heard from again.

But Denny had to remind himself that even if he didn’t have faith in himself, he had to have faith in Annie. He had to believe that she wouldn’t do that to him, that she’d listen somewhat and, even if she didn’t understand, she would react in a manner that kept them where they currently were. While in thought, Denny found himself holding Annie tighter and tighter to his body, just bringing her as close as he could because maybe her presence would give him some indication of what to say. When it didn’t, Denny only felt disappointed that he couldn’t do that himself. “There is something – some part of me that just takes over when I can’t control myself anymore.” He had to breathe again. “It’s the same thing that took over when I freaked out after Thanksgiving.” Denny looked away quickly, taking yet another breath. He looked back before speaking. “It’s like a monster living inside of me. It’s violent and strong and it points out weaknesses in people and makes me attack them at those points.” Denny thought he sounded more like he was in some sort of Alien-syfy movie instead of in his own life, talking to Annie about something that he knew was more than real. “It slips in, and it’s ruthless and controlling.” That time he stopped to sigh and recollect himself. “It said those things to you today, Annie. All I could do was sit back and watch because I don’t know how to fight it. I would never, ever say anything like that to you – never.”

Denny didn’t think she would believe him. If Annie wasn’t listening, she obviously wasn’t going to believe him, but he didn’t think she’d buy into blaming something that didn’t exist outside of Denny’s mind. He felt insane just thinking of it that way. The monster pushed and pulled on his personality when he was weak and vulnerable, but he wasn’t now, and he’d keep it that way. His voice showed his determination, even with his lack of confidence, through his next words. “But it’s not here now – it’s just me. And I’ll do whatever it takes to prove to you that I don’t think that way. I don’t think of you that way, and I never have. When I told you that I loved you regardless of your past, Annie, I meant it.” When he was done speaking, his throat was screaming at him, but Denny ignored it. He didn’t smile and he wasn’t happy, but he was definitely ambitious enough to push through this and show Annie that he didn’t mean to call her that word – that he’d never even thought of letting it drip from his lips. “I still mean it – and I didn’t lie. The monster did that for me.” The last part of that semi-speech sounded as defeated as Denny had meant it do. He sounded like he’d been giving in to the monster, and rationally he had been. When he couldn’t think for himself, when his walls of control came down due to a lack of support, the monster slipped in and Denny let it, if only for the placebo effect of being in control. However, today was evidence that the monster was going to take advantage of that, and that it wasn’t going to play nicely anymore. It wasn’t going to sit there and let Denny think things that he wanted to think with a back-up slice of assertiveness. It was going to take control and leave Denny in the back of his mind, as if it was a completely separate person from Denny all together.

“I’m just sorry that I let it happen, and I’m sorry that it hurt you.”





1570 -- seren/annie only <3 -- okay i was too lazy to make an image so it goes to caution. words go to me. lyrics go to pierce the veil. -- op op op!

[ANNABELLE MARIE HURLEY]

this is all i've got baby am i all you want
BECAUSE I'LL BE YOUR FAVORITE MISTAKE.

He held her tighter, and Annie held him tighter in return. The space between them was all the space that Annie didn't want. The space around them that threatened to fight in didn't matter much either. It held a kind of roaring silence that bothered her; it infested the base of her crying like a vine and suffocated her like she was a tree bending to it's will. Annie struggled subconsciously, she pushed against everything it pushed on her. Just pushed herself against Denny more, molding her body against every contour of his that she could reach. Her heart beat erratically and it didn't seem like it was her heart and ribs holding it in. It seemed like Denny's chest against her's was what kept it in her body. It was like every one of her walls was down and she was stuck in this opposite of forever. She wanted him to know that she would let him go. He was her heart and soul. What else did she have besides him? She had herself and she was too flawed to deal with. She would sit quietly and angrily forever. Time would tear at her skin and so would she. 

Annie had a difficult time wrapping her head around his words. If Annie wasn't so hysterical, she would point out that this blame was false. This... thing was a part of him. It had his thoughts and his feelings. Maybe it was a more ruthless, sinister part of him, but it was a part of him. And if it wasn't Annie didn't know what she would do. She tried to digest what he said but it was difficult for her to do. Her head wasn't working just right and so she couldn't do the things the rest of her was asking of her. Her heart felt like it was going to explode. Somewhere through the muddle, her head pulled through. "It's a part of you, Denny. Still your lips that said it, your mind that moved them." The calm in her voice surprised her, and she realized her tears had nearly stopped. She still shook in his arms like there was an earthquake in her chest. 

Annie's head hurt with the weight of what she didn't know, and what she couldn't say. She buried her head in the crook of his neck and slid her hands up his back, her nails still dragging across it until her palms hit his shoulder blades. She realized then that she had scratched a good portion of his skin, and so she just slid her fingers lightly to his collarbones. She quickly forgot about how she might have hurt him and she pressed her fingers into the dip there, pressure pushing them against him. "Learn." she whispered, and her throat sounded like she had swallowed fire. Her voice was rough from the crying and screaming. Even though she seemed calmer, there was still this air like maybe this was just the eye of the storm and she would loose it so quickly again. "Learn how to fight it."




514 -- look i was lazy so i took yer template yup. lyrics from transmit now and the image is from tumblrrr. -- hello shitty word count. Sorry this is terrible ugh.

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

I'M GONNA MAKE A MILLION DOLLARS
'cause no one's ever gonna steal you, no

Denny knew she wouldn’t understand. Annie knew everything there was to know about Denny – and now that rang truer than it had yesterday – but she didn’t understand. She didn’t quite seem to understand that Denny was on a leash with the monster – and the monster was pulling him along, letting him off the leash for periods of time that lasted almost too long. Of course Annie wouldn’t understand that. She was free, and that had been her problem all along. She’d been free of restrictions and human interaction, which left almost too much animosity to take over and consume her personality. But that had also been the antidote for Denny’s psychopathic reclusiveness. He’d met Annie, and the fact that she wasn’t chained in by guilt or thoughts that wouldn’t leave her alone had been a gateway for Denny to learn. But maybe it had just been a way for him to learn how to harness his insanity and keep it closed tight into this place in his mind that he didn’t even fully understand – and maybe that was his issue. Denny didn’t understand the monster, so he couldn’t figure out how to keep it in its place. He understood that it was power and used Denny’s vulnerability to its advantage. Denny understood that it took control and left him in the dark, but he didn’t quite understand how it did that or how to stop it.

Still, the fact that Annie didn’t understand was what hurt him the most. He’d gotten so used to her getting him, getting too him in ways that no one else had. Ever. But this? Annie wasn’t quite understanding what he was saying. She thought this was just some sort of thing living within Denny – but Denny knew it was more than that. Technically, yes, the monster was like a parasite; really, it was more like a monster. It was like a whole different person within Denny’s mind, and when it took over there was nothing and no one that could stop it. Surely there was something Annie could compare that too, but what? Denny couldn’t think of anything, partly because he didn’t want to think of Annie in a similar light as the monster, and partly because he was just too focused on how hurt he was because she made the monster sound like some parasitic pest that Denny could just easily remove from his system. All of his arguments would be deemed invalid in one way or another – or maybe that was just his diminished self-assurance speaking. Denny had just lost all cause in himself. He’d lost so much of his own mind today that he was going to suffer even if he was happy – or so he thought. When things got tense like this, Denny could sometimes get a bit mellow-dramatic.

“Annie,” he said, huffing in agitation – but not aggravation – once before stopping to think briefly. “This thing is not what you think.” He clung to her because he had nothing else and no one else to do so to. It comforted him enough to speak without hiccups or tears, even thought he situation was still depressingly tense. “It controls me. It controls my body, my actions – I tried to fight it and it fought back.” Now that he’d thought about his eye, it started to throb. The dryness his lack of tears had left started to itch in that eye, and he could feel the bruise it was becoming. “You think I did this to my own eye?” Essentially, yes, he had. The point he was making to Annie, however, stated otherwise. “The monster did that. I tried to hit it, tried to keep it from saying anything that meant nothing to me, and it hit me back – harder.” He winced a bit at the pounding in his face. It hurt more than Annie’s misunderstanding. Denny had to take a second to recuperate before he could speak again, and when he did his face felt dry and cracked, as if he were made out of plaster instead of skin and bones and feathers.

“It’s not that easy, Annie.” He really felt misunderstood with that cliché line of complete and utter angst. “This thing is like a wall that gets put up so high, I can’t climb over it – but when I find a crack to slid under, someone comes along and shoves me back behind it.” This metaphor probably wasn’t working. Denny sighed and tried to think of something that would, and when he couldn’t he felt more aggravated than he had minutes ago. “Fighting it isn’t as easy as it sounds, Annie. I don’t even know how to work with it; I don’t know how to conjure it on my own terms.” Denny felt confused for an instant, and in the next second he felt like he was on an episode of Charmed. Maybe this was just that – maybe he was dreaming and this episode of Charmed was all in his head. Maybe all he had to do was will himself awake and this would all be over – but once he tried to do that, he realized that this was real, and that this was not a dream. This wasn’t something Denny could just will himself out of. He had to face it and deal with it and fix it, even if Annie wouldn’t allow him to do so. He still had that determination to fix fix fix things, to be assertive and to make things easier for the both of them. Only now, he’d need even more determination to make up for the fact that he would second guess himself through every step.

Denny sighed, giving up any fight he’d felt instantly. He just hugged Annie closer to him, running his fingers into her hair along her scalp, holding her against him like that. It was all he could think to do. “But for you, I’ll fight it.” Because he would. “I can’t let something like what happened today happen again.” And he couldn’t. Denny wouldn’t allow that to happen again, not as long as he was still breathing.


1020 -- seren/annie only <3 -- okay i was too lazy to make an image so it goes to caution. words go to me. lyrics go to pierce the veil. -- oh my god i'm so tired and i'm going away but omfg i got this done in like an hour i'm so proud of myself. i love you <3

[ANNABELLE MARIE HURLEY]

this is all i've got baby am i all you want
BECAUSE I'LL BE YOUR FAVORITE MISTAKE.

Annie didn't understand at all. She couldn't wrap her head around the things Denny was trying to explain. She kept finding things wrong that apparently only she could see. If she questioned him further, it would all just fly over her head, and Annie didn't want that because it would suck for her and hurt him with her confusion. There just wasn't a win-win for her if she tried to unravel it. She sighed as she listened to his voice rumble in his chest. She closed her eyes, feeling content. It was a weird feeling considering not only the tension and the severity of what they were talking about but also what had happened earlier. Annie felt fragile, not only in mind but body as well. That bothered her. She was used to feeling strong and confident when it came to her body... at least in it's capability. Appearance was different, but she knew her body was safe. Suddenly it was different. Her mind throbbed inside her head and she whimpered lightly because of it. She felt like her brain had been crying too, and her whole body was sore. She flexed her hands in a shaky way and they stung, along with her feet, which she noticed when she moved closer to him and her jeans rubbed against them with the way she was folded. She felt like she was so breakable and Denny would move the wrong way and shatter her body, say the wrong thing and shatter her head. It scared her. Vulnerability always scared her. 

She leaned up and opened her eyes, pressing her lips very lightly against his eyelid, where she could see the purple spreading. She didn't get that part at all, how something in his head could give him a black eye. Annie felt like he didn't have an answer either, though. So while she didn't understand, she didn't want to upset him. It was far easier to see if she could comfort him, and so that's what she did the only way she could because Annie was never good at comforting people. She was too abrasive to try for most, but Denny was her exception because Denny was her's. She wanted him to feel okay because he made her feel that way. Annie knew some things she felt for him were unhealthy, like her fierce protectiveness. Annie felt like if someone looked at him she would want to claw their eyes out. She didn't have a good idea of why, but she had wanted to know if be felt the same way, which had lead to her asking him earlier. For now though she just kissed his bruised eye softly, feeling like she should have something to say, but not knowing anything to say. She tucked her head back against his chest, liking the way his fingers ran through her hair and held her there, against him. 

She listened to his breathing and closed her eyes. Annie's mind drifted to earlier in the conversation. But for you, I'll fight it. the conviction that had been in her voice said that was a big thing to say. It was difficult for her to understand what made the monster so seemingly unconquerable to Denny, but she tried to accept that it was, because that's what it was to him and she had to understand. So she tried. It hurt to think that her only constant in life was so... unstable. It was difficult for her to understand. She was the broken one... right? Suddenly Denny claiming to be dark made so much sense in the worst way possible and Annie felt like she was going to be sick. She remembered the beach, how he had tried to back himself up. I have a monster hanging over my head. Annie got chills, and she closed her eyes tight. Her heart started beating too fast and her breathing stop being measured and it started to hurry until her individual breaths tripped over themselves and it seemed like she was going to hyperventilate. "I'm scared," she admitted in a whisper. She dragged a finger across his chest back and forth, in circles and swirls, just something to focus on when she was too afraid to focus anywhere else. "What do I do? You're all I have, and now you're saying you can't control yourself, that some violent thing in you is doing it." She took a shaky breath, and you could hear that she ha broken again, in a sense. Her fragility had gotten the best of her and her words were more difficult to understand because the tears had started up again, although more quietly than earlier. "You're supposed to protect me but now you hurt me and you say you can't help it. What am I supposed to do, Denny?" Desperation was evident in her voice, and she was begging for an answer. 

Annie felt mad at herself more than anything. She twisted her hands and the skinned parts hurt, but she fisted them out and dug her nails into her palms. She bit her lip because she wanted to whimper from the pain it brought. It was a hurt that started off slow but persistent and had these sharp pains that came in rolling waves. It only added to her tears. "All I wanted was to hear you call me pretty," she whispered so lowly that he wouldn't have heard if they hadn't been alone "I didn't want this..." she said in the same octave. Annie hated herself because she felt like she had wanted too much. This was what she got for wanting to be pretty. She buried her head against him wishing she could slip away into him and hide in his heart. She would battle out that wretched thing all by herself, because it just wasn't fair. "It's nor fair!" she said, her voice seeming louder and more shrill than it actually was because she had been whispering before. She pushed her nails harder into her hands, and this time she didn't hold back the noise she made from the pain. 




1020 lol that's cute -- look i was lazy so i took yer template yup. lyrics from transmit now and the image is from tumblrrr. -- idk

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

I'M GONNA MAKE A MILLION DOLLARS
'cause no one's ever gonna steal you, no

Denver had no proper training in curing fears. He wasn't a parent and he didn't have any paternal instincts yet. Sure, he'd had his sister his whole life to protect, but on that level Denny had stayed in the shadows of her life until the night of that unforgettable party. Denny didn't know how to make all of Annie's fears disappear - he didn't even know how to push a part of himself into oblivion without tearing apart his still-being-fixed mental state. Things between him and Annie just seemed to get more tense as time went on, which totally screwed with his head. What did he do, now that everything that had happened today had actually happened? Annie couldn't trust his words, Denny couldn't trust his own mind, and collectively, their relationship - though that was a common underestimation between them - was broken at the seams. The only reason they'd gone this far for this long was because Annie had trusted Denny, because Denny had trusted Annie back, but now neither of them could trust Denny. Because of that little fault in his head, because of the one thing he didn't know how to beat the shit out of, everything had come crumbling down for who to clean up? Denny, like always.

Look, he wasn't blaming Annie. He didn't mind having to clean up messes, but the fact that he had to do that with something he didn't know how to break.....well, that seemed a bit impossible to get through for him. It was like asking him to be that guy that fell in the canyon years ago out in Utah - asking Denny to pull this part of himself, whatever part it may be, out of his personality and his mind was like asking him to sever his arm. But Annie wasn't asking. She was telling. Normally, that would have irritated Denny; to compromise himself for someone else? That was so beyond what he did. Denny had never been the kind of guy that became someone else for someone other than himself; before Annie, he'd just been that kid that everyone had known and most people didn't mind. He didn't really have any best friends before Annie, and the friends he did have hardly liked the same things he did. And then there was Annie. He'd already changed so much for her - what was one more part of him to sacrifice in her name? What was defeating a few demons to make Annie happy? What was that same situation worth if it made Annie trust him again? Denny already knew the answer, he just didn't want to believe that giving up a whole part of himself would make the one girl he loved as she was happy again.

Now to him, that didn't seem particularly fair.

But Denny couldn't say that. Annie was so broken already. He couldn't turn the tables of this situation and make it sound like it really was her fault. She was right in some ways - all she wanted to hear was that Denny thought she was pretty. He'd tried to tell her that she wasn't because she was so beyond pretty to him that Denny didn't even have a word for the beauty he held in his hands. He couldn't put a name to the way that he held Annie, physically or mentally. He couldn't just tell her that she was pretty because to him, she wasn't. She was on a level so far up from pretty that no one could come up with the right orientation of it. And she was right in the sense that he was supposed to be the stable one. Denny was supposed to be as he looked - like a long, tough post that was so filled with some sort of unreadable life that it could withstand anything. He was supposed to be the kind of post that Annie could lean on completely, but he wouldn't falter or let her slid to the ground. Instead, Denny was broken and malfunctioning, more like a rouge robot than anything else. He'd have to fix that if he wanted Annie to keep leaning on him, to trust him again enough to eventually marry him. Even though he'd made it clear the ring he'd given her for Christmas wasn't an engagement ring, it might as well have been, and even though he was in this situation right now, he still planned on marrying Annie eventually.

But that was not the first thing on his mind right now. Right now, he had to think of what to do - what to say. He breathed in and held Annie to him still, just trying to soak up whatever he could before she came to her senses and left. "Just..... Trust me." He left an 'you have to' because she really didn't. As much as Denny wanted her to, Annie didn't have to trust him one bit. She could walk out of his arms, out of his apartment, and stay with Abby or hide in the forest for the rest of her life, and Denny wouldn't be able to do a damn thing about it. He didn't control her free will; all he could do was beg and plead that she didn't just leave him. It was sad and pathetic for him to have to, but Denny just didn't really see it that way. Without Annie, Denny was just Denny. There was nothing three-dimensional about him on his own, save for the fucking monster that had caused all of this mental ramble. "I'm sorry that all of this is happening because it's my fault, and I know that. I know it's hard to understand all of this monster shit because I hardly understand it. I just can't stand to loose you over it." Denny sounded more like he was coming straight out of a Disney movie where the prince confessed his undying love to the princess than anything else. He was far from that, but his words just sound so overly cliche that he couldn't help thinking that.

"Annie, I don't know how you believe that I would honestly hurt you intentionally. There's nothing more depressing to me than that thought! Those words would never come out of my mouth if I could help it." Denny stood his ground, even though he was sitting, and sighed because he doubted that Annie would believe him. Those words had come out of his mouth, and those words had meant what they'd said - but they hadn't been his words. That voice had only been his because he was sure the monster didn't have a voice. It had to taint the voice of its victim, which should have been something that Annie had caught onto - or maybe that was just how Denny's voice had sounded in his head, while he wasn't in control. "And I didn't call you pretty because you're so much more than that to me. There isn't a word in this universe that could describe the way I see you. But if that's really what you want to hear, then here: Annie, I think you're so pretty that if someone else thought the same thing, I'd have to take their eyes out so they couldn't see you anymore." Denny doubted that would fix things for the day, but he had to try everything.

1245 -- seren/annie only <3 -- okay i was too lazy to make an image so it goes to caution. words go to me. lyrics go to pierce the veil. -- wow i'm really surprised i wrote that much in like just over an hour, without a word document to tell me if i had correct grammar or not.

[ANNABELLE MARIE HURLEY]

this is all i've got baby am i all you want
BECAUSE I'LL BE YOUR FAVORITE MISTAKE.

Annie listened to his words and let them sink in. The night reminded her of christmas, the way everything had a washed out feel to it. She looked at Denny and his face was badly shadowed. The edges of his shoulder were lit a white, and just past his back, which Annie couldn't see well, everything was bathed in the moonlight coming in from his window. Annie felt somewhat empty from three days without food, dizzy and tired. It made her close her eyes lightly and take a breath before she continued. She pushed her hand up and laid it on the crook of Denny's  neck, feeling his pulse jump between her fingers. It looked like her hand had gone under water, going from the midnight blue to the same milky ivory as his skin there. Annie had an affinity for the the night, and she liked the way the moon lit things. Her hands were rough against him, even if they were just restin lightly, seeing as his skin was smooth and undisturbed and her hands were butchered. It was like comparing a secret and unknown pond to this rushing, polluted river. She didn't even notice though. Normally the conditionals in his sentence would have bothered her, but for some reason it didn't. The I think's and the to me's would have made her upset; couldn't she just be? She pushed that out of her mind with the way he said that if anyone else thought she was pretty he would have to take their eyes out. Annie may have been morbid and selfish, but she liked the way he said that. She liked the possessiveness, even if people saw that as a bad thing. Annie was fierce and she wanted a fierce love from him. She wanted him to protect her like he had from the doctors, keep her safe from everything that scared her. Annie leaned forward and closed her eyes and tipped her head back so her lips met Denny's and she felt much better that way. 

Their physical love could be dangerous, but she never thought of that when she kissed him. Unlike her hands, her lips were soft and giving. That's how he knew he was forgiven, that's how Denny could take a cue to relax and stop holding her so stiff and tight and worried, like she was going to leave. This screamed she never would, this told him he could soften his hold and just love her instead o f convince. Months ago Annie never would have seen anyone holding her either way, not even Denny. She was so off, she was disconnected. Denny had pulled her down but it had proved to be too much. Was it better for her to feel all of this insanity or would it have been better to take the easy way and keep her walls? Annie would never know because now she couldn't go back to see what the walls would be like. She didn't think it was possible. Maybe that was a clue that this was better, all of this love. Kissing Denny, Annie thought about when he first kissed her. Have I ever told you something I didn't mean? Annie still found it so difficult to peel apart the two faucets of Denny, but she stopped focusing on it. There were better uses for her time at this point, and so she pushed everything else out of her mind. 

When Annie pulled back, she kept her face close so that she could feel the static between their noses. Her hand moved up to his hair and her breathing seemed quick. She felt happy in that moment, and more level than she had felt in a while. She didn't know why at all, but she didn't care. Annie was suddenly aware of the way Denny's smell rushed in at her from all sides, seeing as she was practically in his lap and smashed against his chest. All around her this sharp, clear scent pushed on her. It was clouds, it was sea salt, it was evergreens, it was freedom. It was the way the sky was everything, the wind brushed over all of those things, and pushed them up towards the sun, where the light baked them to this sharp and pungent scent. Maybe Denny didn't understand because he was so used to it, but Annie knew. She knew it too well, like she could close her eyes and pretend she was in that sky. There was so much of him around her that he was her sky. He was barely wearing anything, as opposed to Annie who was basically the opposite in too much clothing. It was bothersome, but that - and the kissing - wasn't meant in a turned on or perverted way. Annie just felt at peace; very animalistic and wanting to kiss and touch but not wanting more because she was content. She didn't want it in a fast or sexual way, she just liked him close and she liked having all of these feelings for him. 

Silence roared around her like a static screen, but Annie didn't pay that any attention. She opened her eyes suddenly, and her lips pursed. She was so close that she could taste his breathing, and see how painful his eye looked. She still couldn't grasp the immensity of that, but she didn't care. "Trust you?" She said, and chuckled lightly. "If you had said that a few months ago I would have laughed in your face and you would have never seen me again." It was the truth; trusting had never been what Annie was good at, and it had never been something she was used to or comfortable with. But everything changed, as soon as he had fallen asleep holding her suffocatingly close.  "But now... Denny, it would take every ounce of power I have and then some to not trust you." A smile finally poked through, and she closed her eyes, just looking happy. "You could break my bones and I would never leave. You could call me every name in the book and I would still beg for more. You could hurt me every night and I would still want to crawl back in bed with you." Part of Annie was bothered that she would; what had happened to the strong part of her, the force to be reckoned with? Denny had destroyed that part, at least when it came to him. Annie never cried and yet he had pushed her to that. If he hadn't though, he never would have gotten her to kiss him and love him. It was a double sided blade. Another part of her knew that Denny wasn't that man and he would never do those things to her, and she was comforted by that. "I can't help it - you changed me. So irrevocably that I will never be the way I was, and I could never go to anyone else."

The room started spinning and Annie closed her eyes, taking a breath. She felt dizzy again. Three days without eating and a shit load of running were taking a toll on her. And then her stomach growled and Annie felt her heart skip a beat. That had happened a through times throughout the day and he hadn't noticed; she hoped the trend would continue. Annie opened her eyes and watched him warily. She needed to distract him, just in case. "Um," she rubbed his arm lightly "if you say I'm more to you, than what am I? When you look at me, what do you see?"




idk a lot -- look i was lazy so i took yer template yup. lyrics from transmit now and the image is from tumblrrr. -- idk

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

I'M GONNA MAKE A MILLION DOLLARS
'cause no one's ever gonna steal you, no

Annie was the type of girl that Denny had to stop expecting things from. It wasn't like he was her parent that expected her to keep her grades up and stay in school; it wasn't like he was even the type of boyfriend to expect anything out of her. He just expected some things to happen - in this case, he expected her to hate him forever - that never actually did. Why Denny expected Annie to just leave, he didn't know. Their relationship was anything but conventional, so why would he expect conventional reactions to what he'd said - or even what the monster had said for him? Expectations weren't something Denny could really keep up when he was with Annie, and it was obvious that he was going to stay with Annie for a long, long time. As long as Denny could help it, Annie could expect an internal fight from Denny. He'd fight the monster and he'd fight the monsters outside of his head, all to keep Annie his forever and to be Annie's forever, too.

Denny wasn't quite sure how to react with what she was saying though. What did he say to that? How did he react when all he'd done was try to redeem himself with the expectation that it would take weeks to get Annie to turn around and see that he wasn't a bad guy, only to have her kiss him and hold onto him? How could he keep trying to show her that he really hadn't meant to call her the W word when she was so forgiving of his actions? Well, Denny just gave up that fight. He'd battle it later if it came up, but for now he was just going to let go of it an relax, knowing full well as long as he shifted, slept, and ate, they'd be safe from the monster. He could deal with that. Denny could honestly say that thought set him at ease, which let his limbs relax around Annie. He stopped clinging her to his body and just held her, keeping her close without nearly smothering her. Her kisses, her words let Denny know that he was forgiven, at least for now, and that he could be the boyfriend she adored so much. He could hold her the way he liked to, he could kiss her and keep her happy instead of crying over something that he hadn't meant to let happen.

"It means a lot to me to know that, Annie." He knew that sounded overly used and utterly dumb, but he couldn't think of any other way to put his thoughts into words. His originality was sort of lacking considering he was mentally drained again, but not so much that he'd let that guard down again and give access to the monster again. That wouldn't happen for a long time, if ever, so long as Denny could help it. Still, he managed to keep speaking. "I just want you to know that something like what happened today will not happen again. I won't let it-I can't let it." Though the last part was somewhat to himself, Denny felt the meaning behind every single letter he'd chosen to speak. He had to clear up his mind and start sounding a bit more comprehensible. But when he thought about it, Denny knew that his mind was clear. He was forgiven, if only for a short period of time. He didn't really have to think about anything except being with Annie, and being there for her considering he'd been the one that had upset her in the first place.

After that mash up of words, Denny didn't feel much like speaking. He stayed silent and sighed, just holding Annie because he was half scared she'd still run away. Denver was so insecure then that he physically had to make sure Annie was still there, and being quiet helped clear his mind. It helped reassure him that he was forgiven, and it let him know that Annie's kiss served as a way to let him know just that. He just couldn’t say anymore with the fear that his words might ruin everything again. So he kept his mouth shut and just listened. He felt the way Annie’s hands were coarse and rough against his skin, and though he was a bit disgusted with that, he didn’t show it. Denny kept himself thinking that he was just lucky that she was touching him. That kept his mouth shut and the appreciation of the connection in his mind. It helped for him to just understand that her hands were that way and it was all his fault, but he couldn’t just wallow in self-blame forever. He just sat and held her close, but not in the same, tense manner as before. Now he just held her because she was letting him. He just held her like he usually did; close to his body but in a comfortable, intimate way. And not even intimate in a way that would end them on the other side of the bed without any clothing on – Annie’s kiss not only told Denny he was forgiven, but also let him know that she wasn’t planning on moving forward. And Denny was okay with that.

He’d rather stay where they were rather than go in a reverse motion.

Despite his contentment, Denny still felt that mental lurch when Annie spoke and asked him a question that he wasn’t prepared to answer. Still, Denny felt obligated to do so, considering he’d said what he had said. He had to think though, so he sighed to let Annie know just that, though he wasn’t convinced she’d take it that way after he’d already let the sigh out. He sped up his thoughts a bit just to have something to say, and he smiled when he finally did. “What I see is what I’ve seen since day one.” Lightly and quickly, Denny kissed Annie before getting back to what he was saying. “I see the most amazingly gorgeous woman in the world. I see the one person that I’ve trusted more than anyone else in my entire life. I see the first and last person I will ever love, and to me all of that is more than just pretty.” Denny didn’t even begin with how little he liked to use the word pretty. It didn’t describe anything about Annie accurately. “Pretty, gorgeous, beautiful……..none of that works. They’re all underestimations of you, Annie. And that’s only speaking on a physical basis.” He kissed her again quickly. “I don’t love you because you’re pretty. I don’t love you because when I first saw you I thought you were absolutely beautiful. I love you because you listen, and you give me something to do with my life. That adds to why any of those adjectives don’t fit you.”


1151 -- seren/annie only <3 -- okay i was too lazy to make an image so it goes to caution. words go to me. lyrics go to pierce the veil. -- finally fucking done