-- WHO I AM HATES WHO I'VE BEEN *

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

stop right there, that's exactly where i lost it
SEE THAT LINE? I NEVER SHOULD HAVE CROSSED IT.

That was it. Words didn’t mean shit. She was gone, which was the one fear Denny had last night. He hadn’t been scared of going too far, though that was part of the fear, but rather of scaring her off. He hadn’t been scared of having sex with her, but the fact that he’d let himself go so easily to scare Annie away was what scared him the most. If he loved her like he said he did, he wouldn’t just stand in his kitchen with a blank expression on his face. But there he was, staring into the space that Annie had occupied just moments before. He felt horrible. He felt like a fucking hawk, not a Vulture; he felt tense and fearsome rather than loose and patient. Most of all, he felt utterly human, and rather horrible for having done whatever he’d done to her to scare her so. He’d scared her enough to snap her out of her own rage, which was sort of a feat in itself in a sick, twisted way. That fact nearly brought him to tears. He was so angry at himself, but he made no movement or facial expression to hint towards that.

For five minutes straight, he just stood there and looked at the empty matter that Annie had taken. He couldn’t believe himself; he’d gotten so out of control that he’d done the one thing he’d been avoiding for the past week, for the past few months. He didn’t know what to do; he really just wanted to beat himself up and throw his vulture body against walls until his head cracked open and he couldn’t fly anymore. He never wanted to be a Vulture ever again, not if it meant scaring Annie away like that. Well, one thing was for sure: whether or not he would ever shift again was one deal, but he most likely wouldn’t be able to trust himself ever again. He’d let that happen, hadn’t even tried to fight it off. His fingers on the counter curled again, but in fear of himself instead of in intimidation and the need to feel powerful. Quickly though, the fear turned into anger at himself, and he pulled his fingers along the bottom of the counter, breaking a few nails as he did so. Denny turned around and looked for something heavy but easy to throw, but still large enough to break something.

He had to look a few times over his kitchen before he found a good sized pan. It was about twice the circumference of his head, three times as wide as his hand could spread with each finger as far apart as they could go from one another, and weighed about twice as much as his vulture body did. His muscular arms had no problem picking it up though; he held it close to him at first, then tried to find something he could throw it at. He thought about a window, but Denny didn’t have the money to repair it if he broke it. This pan would break any of the windows in his apartment, but he needed to find something he could live without. Nothing came to mind, and so without really thinking Denny just threw the pan at the ground. The floor didn’t crack, but the side of the pan dented from the force of the blow, and quickly Denny threw the pan in the garbage. He had plenty more pans, and if he didn’t he’d just borrow one from his mom across town. Whatever; he had bigger, more important things to worry about.

Denny’s self-anger turned into something else then. Worry; he was worried about Annie. She’d run out of his apartment so fast and in such a feared hurry that he hadn’t even tried to stop her. He needed to see her though, to apologize and promise he would never let that happen again. But promises were seeming redundant, and hadn’t he promised her the night before that he would do everything in his power to avoid the inevitable? He had, and what had happened this morning was definitely the inevitable. All of that just lead back to the fact that he couldn’t trust himself anymore, but that didn’t change too much. He needed to see Annie and at least apologize, calm her down, and make sure she would be okay. Whether or not she would let him in from the freezing cold was one story, but he would turn into John Cusack if he had to, huge radio and all. He’d stand outside in the cold singing her songs until she opened the door and let him in if need be, just to try and redeem himself to her since self redemption was out of the question.

Denny headed into his bedroom, but stopped as soon as he stepped through the threshold. Remnants from the night before hung in the air, driving every sense he had insane. His heart swelled in the worst way, like it was crying, and his knees started to wobble. But he stayed strong; he moved across the room at a fast pace to literally pull on a pair of jeans, a shirt, a hoodie, and a pair of socks and sneakers. He did so in such a fast manner that he was out the door before he could even count out five minutes. He was that concerned, and so he grabbed his keys and ran. He didn’t fly, though he felt the need to. There wouldn’t be any way to carry his clothing or his keys, and so he’d show up nude to Annie’s place which would just give the complete wrong impression. So he ran; he took off the instant his door was locked and only stopped once. He didn’t think flattery would work per say, but flowers were just something he felt every girl liked. Denny stopped to pick up three of Annie’s favorite flowers, then continued on his marathon.

It wasn’t a long run to her house, and his body could handle the distance and strain even in the cold. Somehow, he was just used to physical activity. Once he was there, he took in a few deep, shaky breathes, made sure he was in check, then knocked. Why was he knocking? This was Annie, his girlfriend. Well, they were still together, right? They hadn’t broken up, had they? No one had said anything about that, though most of what Denny had said was horrible and he really thought she should have told him it was over. She deserved better than that, no matter what kind of reclusive person she was. It didn’t matter; Annie had earned more of him than he could give her, obviously. Still, there he was, waiting for her to forgive him with a few simple words, flowers, and charms. What would he say when she opened the door? Would she even open it if she saw it was him? Was she still scared? It had been nearly a half hour since she’d run out of his apartment, but was she still freaked out? She may as well have been. In fact, he kind of wanted her to be, so she could push him away and find someone better, more worthy of taking care of her.

But he wasn’t giving up, and if she didn’t open her door, he was gong to break in. Denny was persistent all of the sudden. Without the confidence he’d felt, the sense that he was going to fight for this no matter what returned to his persona, which was enough for him to take a step closer to the door and knock again. This feeling made him impatient, like if he didn’t say what he had to now, he never would. It made him feel less vulture, more human, more himself. Confidence came bit in little spurts, but there was no way it would be full restored any time today. He’d be back to square one: taking steps one at a time. To be honest, that was better than scaring the girl he loved away.

“Annie, please let me in. Come on, open up.” He sounded as impatient as he felt, though not necessarily demanding. He sighed, held his hands together to keep them warm, and rubbed the flowers between his fingers. “Please Annie, I need to talk to you.” He refused to use the phrase ‘we need to talk,’ because after all of the cruddy chick movies he’d ever seen, he knew that only lead to bad things. He was hoping this visit would lead otherwise.



1436 -- for seren/annie <3 -- i made but lyrics go to relient k duh. -- HOPE YOU LIKE <3

[ANNABELLE MARIE HURLEY]

YOU'VE GOTTA GIVE A LITTLE, BUT YOU KNOW IT TAKES A LOT TO GET OVER,
'cause it makes no sense to be permanent if i can't feel right!

As soon as Annie was in the house she closed the door and just leaned against it. She sighed, feeling her muscles ache in a tried, lethargic kind of way. She closed her eyes, and just leaned against the door. Annie couldn’t think of much else to do besides that, and she didn’t really want to move anyway. She wasn’t even sure how long it was, but it was long, she knew. It had been like that since last night, she noticed; immeasurable time that she didn’t much care about. It was just time to pace herself. Just deep breaths, just trying to relax. Sometimes it was hard for Annie to get calm, no matter what mood she was trying to relax from. Running from Denny had just been a bad idea to begin with. Annie should have thought it through. She should have thought a bit more before leaving, she should have stopped. If only she had her brain in her head, if only she had been thinking straight. But she hadn’t been; she had been working on just shock and awe, and now that she was thinking more she realized she had been silly.

As she stood her emotions leveled out. It took a bit longer than she had hoped, but eventually her body acclimated and she could breathe evenly again. Her body had been working solely on fear. Back at Denver’s the entire room had stunk of that fucking feeling. In actuality she had been so shocked, and not scared, but she had no time and adrenaline was pumping. That’s all that had been pounding through her. She doubted that any blood had made it to her brain, just raw adrenaline and that’s why she hadn’t been able to think well. Her body immediately translated the emotion into fear, anger, needing to get away. A feeling she was aware of so often, the feeling of being trapped. Being trapped meant she needed to get out. It seemed that Annie always needed to get out. She couldn’t think of anything else besides that. So she had acted on it.

Eventually she got up, and walked over to the couch, sitting on it, crossing her legs and then laying down. She sighed, and relaxed all her muscles because she still felt kind of tense. She just needed to loosen up before she could tackle any other problems. She clicked her tongue and looked around. The soft pad of feet brought over the Beast, and she looked at that cat sadly, just kind of tired, and still confused from what had happened at Denver’s apartment. The cat looked at her expectantly. Annie was getting used to this cat, and he filled the space left by not being with Denny. She had gotten so used to that boy’s company seeing as they hadn’t been apart in weeks. She leaned down and picked the cat up. The poor thing spent most of his time doing whatever he pleased at this point. She left the back door open for him and he came and went as he pleased (she lived on the first floor). She fed him occasionally, but forgot most of the time. He fed himself, obviously. Beast. She smiled at the nickname that Denny had given the cat as she pet him.

It hadn’t been very long, but she already missed him. So much. She just longed to have him sitting on the couch with her. But he wasn’t, and it hurt her heart in a way she never thought anything would have. His absence was an ache in her bones that she didn’t think she could get rid of. And it was a little angering that it was there, that she couldn’t shake that feeling. Not to mention it had taken less than an hour to be a mess over missing him. Maybe it was because of the way she had left, maybe it was just because she could never leave him. She would never be able to be without him, no matter how many times she questioned him and he made promises, she would never want to leave him. And she was realizing it now.

She had never meant to leave him, and she still wouldn’t, even now. It wasn’t like some huge epiphany. She just knew it.

She pursed her lips, thinking about that slightly, but mostly not really thinking about much, just relaxing. Her body hurt and she was out of energy, and she didn’t want to think about anything at all. The idea of solving what had happened between them hadn’t even occurred to her. Fixing the problem wasn’t even on the edges of her mind. She knew it had to be done, but she still couldn’t even think about it, didn’t want to. Maybe it was laziness, maybe it was a lack of ideas. Either way, it would just be easier to sit here and just think about how much she missed him, and just wallow in those feelings.

But she didn’t even think about it for too long, because suddenly there was a knock at the door. The cat’s eyes grew like saucers, and his ears pinned back. And then more knocking, and the cat jumped ship somewhere into the room. Annie felt like the cat, listening silently, and she started to lean up. Annie, please let me in. Come on, open up. She stood up all the way. She couldn’t decide on the emotions in her chest at that point, so she just started walking. Please Annie, I need to talk to you. Annie sighed. ”Denny, chill, I’m coming.” she called.

Okay. Maybe that wasn’t a natural reaction for someone who had just stormed out on their boyfriend like she had. But she didn’t think she was angry. He’d just changed, he had changed so suddenly. It hadn’t… well, when she had thought she was scared it was kind of an overstatement. She was just so shocked. She couldn’t believe that he had been like that. So fast, so scary. It had been scary, but Annie wasn’t scared, per se. But the adrenaline that had been pumping through her couldn’t take the time to understand surprise, and immediately said anger, fear, anger, fear! And she had reacted the only way she knew how.

Now, though, when she opened the door and saw him, all of that went away. Annie just looked at Denny’s face for almost a minute. She didn’t say anything, and she didn’t want him to say anything. And then she looked down. Flowers. she smiled, and giggled a little. But then looked up at him. ”Talking? Okay, after this.” Annie leaned forward and kiss him, putting her hands on his neck and face, leaning completely against him, as close as she could think to be, so that every part of the front of her body was touching him. Maybe this was a bad thing because she was only in the sweatshirt from his house, but she didn’t care.

She just couldn’t believe that any of this had happened to being with. She couldn’t believe that she had caused that… or maybe he had… she didn’t really care when his lips were against her’s. And Annie figured she could just fix it all by kissing, because that always seemed to work. They had learned this time and time again. And it had been an hour or so since she’d even touched him, so she couldn’t help that she just wanted to be all over him. She almost wanted to be in some kind of contact with him all of the time. And right now, there could be talking… or more kissing. And honestly, right now she couldn’t make a decision so she just kept kissing him.

Then, finally she pulled away again, and rested her head where it had been this morning, against his neck with the bridge of her nose on the corner of his jaw and her forehead on his cheek. He was warm, and she didn’t want to pull her head away no matter what. Heat was always convincing to her, convinced her to stay against him. But she really didn’t need any convincing for that. She smiled again, and giggled a little like she had earlier. ”Okay. Now talk.”



1,384 - her outfit is the jacket, duh. - lyrics to forever the sickest kids - i love annie's mood swings.

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

stop right there, that's exactly where i lost it
SEE THAT LINE? I NEVER SHOULD HAVE CROSSED IT.

These moves were all just signs that he’d been forgiven. Good. He hadn’t exactly been expecting it to be so easy, so he was pleasantly surprised when it was. Having her back in his arms, this close to him, it just wiped away all of the shame he felt. Knowing that Annie wasn’t mad or completely turned off from him or didn’t trust him anymore or what have you made his whole demeanor just that much more agreeable. It was like when she wasn’t near him, Denny was missing a part of himself. That was what really tipped him off to knowing that he was wholly in love with Annie. There was never a time where she wasn’t around him that he felt complete anymore. Actually, he’d never felt as complete as he did with Annie around, not even before she’d come into his life. In any case, without her around, he wasn’t completely Denny. Today had proved that with almost too much of her, he was almost too much Denny, but if he could get a hold on that rage and that uncontrollable monster, that would change.

Her kiss…….god, he didn’t even know what to say about it. It made him feel like nothing had gone wrong, that they were still just as great as they had been before they’d gotten out of bed. It seemed like after that, things had just started to go wrong slowly until the final drop into that odd, rage-filled, dark place Denny never wanted to see again. He just held onto her kiss, because it made everything better for him. He could think clearly with her lips against his. He could see how wrong he’d been to be set off like that, how he should have just shrugged it off and thrown the food away. He didn’t care; that bread would have just gotten stale in the next few days anyway, and he’d have to just go get more. What mattered was that he could see through the kiss, and what he saw was just that he needed to be careful to avoid that situation again. Not careful in every day so that he’d always be pushing Annie away, but careful in the sense that he just had to avoid situations that would end in that sort of dark exposure of Denny’s monster.

When she pulled back, he thought. He had so much to say, but no words to put out there that would sound convincing. Actually, he didn’t want to be convincing. He wasn’t a conman. He wasn’t out to sleep with her, and he wasn’t out to get to her through his words. He wanted to be honest. He was honest, and Annie knew that. She trusted him because of it. If he said he wouldn’t let her fall, she knew she could rely on him to keep her standing. He was honest, and he wasn’t about to just say something he didn’t mean. “God Annie, I’m so sorry.” True, he found it hard to believe she wouldn’t forgive him, that she didn’t already forgive him, but he still wanted to say it. He still wanted her to know that he was sorry, that he didn’t just come over and expect to kiss and make up. He held her tight, keeping her close as if she’d disappear and he’d never see her again. He’d never be Denny again if that happened.

“Things just got totally mixed up and I lost myself.” He sounded more like he’d been on some island for a year by himself, but then someone had come to rescue him and he didn’t know how to interact with them anymore. It was like once those people had spoken to him, he’d shut off, turned away, and gone insane. But he hadn’t really. He’d just lost himself for a bit there, though it was easy to find himself once Annie had gotten up to leave. Maybe that was contradicting or whatever, but he could care less. He was himself there, wholly and truthfully himself, and with Annie around him he was completely so.

Knowing that much, Denny was in that ‘can’t help himself’ state of mind. He just pressed his lips back to Annie’s and kissed her again, thankful to whatever higher power there was above them that he had her back in his arms. His kiss wasn’t urgent completely, but there was a sense of urgency among the other emotions. He just felt like if he wasn’t kissing her, she’d just be a part of a really long dream, and he’d wake up and be seventeen again without her. He couldn’t stand to have that happen, and he felt like kissing her would prolong the dream from breaking. He wasn’t sure how logical that was, but that wasn’t what mattered. What mattered that, with or without words, she could tell what was going on in his mind through kissing, so he kept her there and held the kiss as long as he could. But then a wind of cold air moved past them, and he felt Annie kind of shiver. He hadn’t noticed how cold it was until then, but he must have been as hot as ever because she wasn’t complaining. Not that she would…..but that wasn’t the point.

He pulled back and thought about offering her his hoodie, but then realized how useless that would be. She was already wearing a sweater (that he’d given her) and so he knew that had to happen. It wouldn’t really change all that much with what was going on, but it was inevitable nonetheless. So he smiled to keep the mood as light as possible, because he didn’t want another wave of turmoil to wash over them. “I’d give you my hoodie but it won’t do too much.” He chuckled once, then led the ay into her apartment, not really caring too much that she hadn’t invited him in. He really just felt like he was invited at all times, mostly because she treated him differently than any other person she knew. Something like that could be used to overlook an invitation into an apartment, right? Whatever; he moved into the front room and smirked at the cat, though a more playful smirk than he’d been showing before. Thank goodness for that.

Once the door was closed, Denny turned back to Annie, ignoring Beast behind him. He didn’t care what the cat saw, honestly, because Annie was there and so nothing else mattered. Not the fact that he was probably late for some interview or something, though he didn’t think he had one to be honest; not the fact that he’d run all the way to Annie’s house; but the fact that Annie was there, in his arms, open and ready to continue loving him even though he didn’t really deserve it. “Now,” he said smiling, ”Where were we?” Yeah, he was just in one of those incredible cheesy romantic moods. He leaned forward again and planted another kiss on Annie’s lips, holding her again to keep her against him. He honestly felt like letting go of Annie would be letting go of himself, and any sensible person wouldn’t want that. Denny heard Beast behind him shift and make unpleasant noises behind him, but he didn’t care. The cat wasn’t important to him, no matter how important he was to Annie. Annie was important.



1235 -- for seren/annie <3 -- i made but lyrics go to relient k duh. -- not too short but i like it :D

[ANNABELLE MARIE HURLEY]

YOU'VE GOTTA GIVE A LITTLE, BUT YOU KNOW IT TAKES A LOT TO GET OVER,
'cause it makes no sense to be permanent if i can't feel right!

Annie smiled at his apologies because they didn't really mean much. She didn't care how he redeemed himself; just knowing that he had done something wrong and tried to make up for it was cause enough for her to feel alright. Because he didn't really have to come. He could have shrugged her off as the freak she was and say that the argument saved him some sanity. That would, however, cripple her emotionally, not just from losing him but from giving herself up to Denny, and then losing him. She had trust issues as it was, and that would have just ripped out any chance at a relationship for her. 

Realizing that honestly scared her a little, because she knew this was the end of the road. If she and Denny didn't work out, she didn't know if she would work with anyone. And that was a scary thought. For the moment, though, she couldn't dwell on it, and she didn't really want to. She was relaxed, she was calm, she was open. Like she had said, Denny had all of her. 

The speed at which Annie and Denny seemed to operate was one thing that really did scare Annie. They went so fast, fell in love so fast, kissed all the time. What if that meant their whole relationship would be fast, and just fall apart in half the time it should? What if that meant this wasn’t real? It didn’t feel real at all, they didn’t feel like a couple. They felt like more. And she didn’t like it. It was too fairy-tale like. 

Maybe that’s why Annie was always trying to slow things down, even though half the time she was also the one pushing it all forward. She just… she felt like if there were more flaws, more things that went wrong, then this would all work out. Even though that was flawed thinking. She thought, as much as she just wanted to kiss Denver all day, that she should just sit and watch TV sometimes. She thought, as much as she always needed to be around him and touching him and have them so there, that sometimes he just shouldn’t even touch her. She hated how her whole life at this pivotal moment was a huge contradiction, and she couldn’t even get her head on straight, didn’t even have an idea of how she would.

But at this point at least there was one thing she was completely sure of: she forgave Denny. 

Although… when she was kissing him she was forgetting if there was even anything he needed to be forgiven of.

She tried to starve off the thought that all of this was going to fall apart. She tried to kill off the idea that they already had an expiration date. In an effort to do it just closed her eyes, and heated things up. She closed her eyes, and kissed him differently, she kissed him like fire. It was like her instinct of anger, the automatic response to get things serious and hot with their kissing. Sometimes Annie couldn’t help how animalistic and instinctual she was, she couldn't help that she couldn't control what her mind saw as fit. She felt like if she just kissed Denver harder, got them hotter, she wouldn’t have to think so hard about things that were wrong, or the lack thereof. She felt that if they got close to something else and distracted her from this train of thought that when they put their fire out, the metaphorical train would have left the station and she could quit worrying. 

He’d already led the way into her apartment and started kissing her again, and so Annie just kind of kept leading them to her couch. And then sat, and wriggled into Denny’s lap, and just kept kissing him. Annie was afraid of what might happen if she pulled back. It was like opening he eyes and taking her lips away would kill it all. Everything would blow up in their faces and they would be back to running, again. And she didn’t want that. She didn't want to give up all that they had worked for, even if all that work hadn't taken too long. They'd become so nearly inseparable in such a short amount of time that she didn't even know where such a strong bond had happened. She just knew she didn't want it to break. It made her so sad to think that, because she was so torn by wanting this and not wanting this. She was torn apart, again, like so many times in her life. 



766 - her outfit is the jacket, duh. - lyrics to forever the sickest kids - frigging computer needs to get fixed so my posts can stop sucking

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

stop right there, that's exactly where i lost it
SEE THAT LINE? I NEVER SHOULD HAVE CROSSED IT.

No words were exchanged, and for once Denny’s mind was content on that. He actually liked it, mostly because he was otherwise preoccupied. He felt the fire again, the one that had lit everything the night before and lead them to a point he hadn’t expected to reach so fast. That actually didn’t scare him. He’d said this before, but he wasn’t really scared of much. Actually, between hem the only things that really did scare him was Annie walking away and him doing something to cause Annie to walk away. The pace at which they moved was nothing to him; he’d rather be moving fast than not moving at all, to be honest. Still, moving too fast might be the thing to scare Annie away, which in turn did actually mean he was scared of it. Contradictions were Annie’s thing though – Denny couldn’t worry about that and her at the same time.

With that, he cleared his mind which was much easier now than it had been at breakfast. With Annie this close, him holding her, her leading him to the couch where she sat in his lap and kissed him, everything was crystal clear. He felt like he was digging diamonds out of a cave, carving them out of the walls around him to look right through them and see everything in a bright, multi-colored world. Denny felt so level headed like this, like nothing was real besides him and Annie and the couch and their kiss. Okay, so maybe that wasn’t such a level headed feeling, but the thought remained that Denny put things into a whole different perspective. The world was suddenly unreal unless Annie was with him, and yeah to some extent that scared him in a surprising way. It was more of a shock than fear, to be honest. He’d never had someone in his life that he really needed, someone that he depended on to feel complete.

No one until Annie.

She was……she was his everything. Without Annie there was no Drawing Blanks, there was no flustering of emotions, there was no reason to keep fighting, no reason to keep living. Without her, there was no reason for him to be around in this cold, damp town. Without Annie Windsor, there was no such thing as love in Denny’s life. He hated to compare them to anyone because him and Annie were unlike anyone else, but for the sake of things they were almost like Allie and Noah from The Notebook. Noah was just an ordinary poor man with not much to do except fix things for his father without Allie; Allie was nothing but a rich girl with bitch of a mother without Noah, and when they came together they brought out the very best of each other and made the other into a whole new person just by being there. In some ways, their situation was just like that; in other ways, most ways, theirs was so different.

For one, Allie and Noah didn’t have the ability to shift into animals. For another, Allie wasn’t a completely contradicting creature. And for yet another, Noah never went to jail, especially not for something he didn’t do. Still, that just made Denny and Annie’s relationship (though it felt like so much more than just a relationship) even more real. How? Well, their world did have people that turned into animals, and so much more. Their world consisted of people that found it hard to get by sometimes because the government was after them, trying to cultivate their abilities and use them against other countries or even their own species. Their world was more like X-Men than The Notebook, but to them that was what was real. It didn’t matter if in another dimension or universe their world was completely fictitious; to Annie and Denny what they had and what was in their world was completely real. And what they had, more and above all other things, was each other.

All of that just added to the fire. This fire wasn’t exactly the same as the one from the previous night, but it was enough to ignite a multitude of emotions and feelings within Denny. If Annie was ready to get away from what he’d done earlier, then he was too, no matter how fast or slow they moved from the events of the morning. He didn’t think about their progress reversing and their relationship falling apart because he’d promised her he’d do all he could to prevent that. Denny was honest, as described before, which in turn meant promises were made only when he knew he could keep them to the best of his knowledge. And this was one of those promises; as far as he could see it, telling Annie that she would always have all of him was nothing but the complete truth. He’d never be able to look at another female the way he looked at Annie; he’d never be able to feel the same way about another female as he did Annie. He had all of him, like he’d told her that morning before things had turned sour, every little single part of him. Whatever she wanted, it was hers. He was just supremely lucky that she wanted him.

Denny put one hand on her face, keeping her as close as he could, and the other on her hip. Now that she wasn’t naked, as she had this morning, he had the confidence in both of them to keep his hands there. He didn’t think she’d cringe away and cry or try and cover up even more because his hand was over the sweater. He didn’t even try to move it down and pull the damn sweater off again, for fear that their cycle would just speed up and they’d end up fighting again. Fight hadn’t even come across his mind until then, actually. Wow, they’d had their first official ‘couple fight’ that morning, and it had gotten so out of control that his worst fears had come true. Along with the other promises he’d hade to her, Denny silently (because he didn’t want to break the moment with audible words) made a vow to work on controlling the monster. He’d never, ever let himself get like that around Annie so long as he could help it. He loved her, and to him that meant she didn’t deserve to see that. After all, she really hadn’t done anything to deserve it in the first place; she’d told him the honest truth and apologized for it.

To be honest, Denny would have rather just stayed in bed and made out than fought over breakfast. But that was all behind them for the moment; for now, he’d be content with making out on the couch.

He didn’t want to let go, not at all, but eventually he needed to breathe. Damn lungs, he thought, why couldn’t I be a fucking fish or something? Something that doesn’t need to constantly breathe? No matter what he wished to be, he couldn’t go any longer without breaking the kiss to breathe. He’d choke if he didn’t; he could feel the clogging of his airways already. So he pulled back just enough to keep his lips centimeters away from Annie’s and smiled. He didn’t move anything else though; his eyes stayed closed, his hands stayed where they were, and his heart just kept beating at a million miles an hour. “I love you.” He felt it was necessary to throw that out for whatever reason between heavy, elongated gasps. He almost had to cough to be able to catch his breathe, but because of his superior lungs (after years of flying against gusts of wind and some storms here and there), he managed to catch his breath in no time. When he was sure Annie could breathe again too, his lips were right up against hers again.

He could kiss her all day, every day if he wanted, if she wanted. There was nothing in this world like kissing Annie, and he hadn’t known that until just earlier this past week. Well, there was definitely something better, but it still involved face-to-face contact. It just also happened to entail naked bodies, but right there and then Denny wasn’t too concerned with that. He could feel the fire, held onto it like he actually wanted to get burned (he really did, in this case), and just kept his contact with Annie. There was nothing in the world he would have rather been doing, in all honesty. He didn’t need sex, didn’t need to have his clothes on the floor or whatever to have the time of his life with Annie. He just needed to be touching her in some way, to have that physical contact that she was so afraid of with anyone else. He just needed to have her with him, regardless of how long their fire would last or how long it would take until they couldn’t stand each other anymore. Denny doubted the latter would ever happen, but he was a naïve twenty-two year old experience love for the first time.

What the fuck did he know?



1534 -- for seren/annie <3 -- i made but lyrics go to relient k duh. -- omfg this is my favorite one i've written in this thread so far.

[[color=#ffffff]cora[/color].]

YOU'VE GOTTA GIVE A LITTLE, BUT YOU KNOW IT TAKES A LOT TO GET OVER,
'cause it makes no sense to be permanent if i can't feel right!

By the time that Denny pulled back to take a breath, Annie was shaking. Not a convulsing kind of shake, but just a twitchy shake, like when you were shivering from the cold. She had needed that breath more than he did, it was evident by that shaking. She took raspy gasps, like she had just woken up from a bad dream, or had been close to drowning and then had a huge breath of air. Her fingers on his cheeks has little tremors that were obnoxious, bothersome twitches to Annie, so she clutched Denny's face tighter to try and still them. It was an obsessive move, too. Not as violent or pushy as that sounded, just a firm grasp on his (pinchable) cheeks. Denny told Annie that he was her's, and she was ready to defend that claim in any way she could. She was Annie; it was expected. 

But none of that needed addressing right now, because she was busy trying to remember where her lungs were, and how she could possibly get enough air in them. She would bet money that they weren't in her chest; who knew, maybe they were in Denny's. It didn't seem like there was enough air in the world to sustain her body. Wild gasps, worse than Denny's. He was obviously filling his lungs up fast. She knew this because he could talk at that point. I love you, he told her, and she just nodded fervently, smiling. The gesture was most likely overlooked, though, because his eyes were closed. That didn't matter though, because Telling him she loved him, too, was out of the question because she didn't think her tongue could talk at this point. It sat uselessly in her mouth, waiting to be used again. She only had one thing in mind for her mouth and she was getting ready to put it to work, again. 

She didn't have to go far to start kissing him again, but this time she moved her hands and twisted them into his hair. Note to self, she thought, do this more often; Denny has nice hair. This was the kind of kissing that caused people to forget their names, was slowly starting to cause her to forget her own… but with this kind of kissing she didn't miss it. Annie didn't care, though, she was just kissing him and everything melted away. If he asked her, it would take her a minute to remember where they were. It didn't matter though because the only thing that mattered was him, them. That far eclipsed anything else that she might have once found important. She couldn't remember the fight or running or forgiving. In her mind they might as well have been back in Denny's bed, with nothing having changed. 

That was the way it should have been, and she was glad they were making up for it now. 

Annie was pretty sure this was the best feeling ever. She compare it to anything else, and she didn't want to, anyway. She couldn't even think of sex, her head was too mixed up (she didn't think they'd ever made out this long and hard, which wasn't really saying anything because they'd only been going out for a week) and so her thought process was all torn into pieces across his lips. The only thing that might have been better to her Denny-drunk brain was kissing and singing. But that wasn't possible. She knew it wasn't possible because not only was it a physically impossible, but Annie would have to be dangerously drunk to kiss him like this on stage. But, in theory,  it would have been cool. 

Annie had never actually made out with anyone. She'd never kissed someone like this, whether it be culled by love, lust, or alcohol. She usually just hoped right in bed. She had a loose zipper when she was younger, although she had never said anything about it in so many words. She'd never even had those drunken moments; she had just had a lot of sex that she regretted. A lot of everything she regretted. Anytime she thought of her past she had to constantly remind herself that Denny didn't care. It was only the present and the future that mattered, it was only what went on between them that would be committed to memory. Annie didn't know where they'd end up, be it sex after this make out session, or a fifty year wedding anniversary. 

All she knew was that she would never, ever regret it. 

They kissed for a long time, and it got to the point where Annie knew they both needed a breath. She didn't want to give him up though. Breathing didn't mean shut compared to this kissing. She took a wild gasp to keep her going, and held his face against his for as long as she could. In a way, it was mean, because he needed air. But Annie could be so selfish sometimes. 

When they did pull their lips - hesitantly - apart, Annie smiled like a their, her teeth showing through her kiss-swollen lips rebelliously. Her world was on fire with his hands on her, with all of his attention on her. She was burning up when they were so close   It was like the fire from last night, but now they knew it better, they knew how to control it. She had her eyes closed, but opened them quickly, and snuck her hand under Denny's shirt like a snake, slithering her fingers up to his chest and pressing them against the skin over his heart. It beat like a rabbit's under her hand and she could hear his pulse pounding furiously by his neck. Sometimes it sickened her at how attuned she was to a person's jugular (being that it was the kill shot for a canine hunter) but right now hearing that sound was nothing but entertaining. "Listen to your heart," she said, amused. "You're going crazy!" She sounded high, but it was probably the lack of air or maybe Denny really did have that effect on her. 

Her fingers itched to just take his shirt off all the way, but there wasn't enough oxygen for her brain and she would be too clumsy to pull it off with poise. She wished he would, though. When she began kissing him she sent out some silent plea for him to get shirtless. 

What was there to say? She was in love, and he was too. And he was hot. Really hot. And he was all her's. So she wanted to feel see his abs. She had claim to that, at the least. 



1,102 - her outfit is the jacket, duh. - lyrics to forever the sickest kids - not too shabby. :D

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

stop right there, that's exactly where i lost it
SEE THAT LINE? I NEVER SHOULD HAVE CROSSED IT.

Of course he was going crazy. Did she not get after this past week that she made him absolutely insane? Not the bad kind of insane; the kind that ended people in the loony-bin. This was the kind of insane that people only felt once in their lifetime if they were lucky. It was the kind of insane that came with love. It wasn’t the insane that everyone ever felt, not by far. It was the insane where your mind just felt like exploding but at the same time it held itself together through the touch, the feel, the words of another person. Holding her this close, making out with her this way…..it all drove him absolutely insane. He was in fact going crazy, but it was all her fault and he completely blamed her – just not in the way that he had earlier. He wasn’t about to get up, push her off, and scream – it wasn’t that kind of blame. This was the kind of blame that he’d never let her forget, but in the best way possible.

“I know,” he said simply. He smiled and opened his eyes, looking right at her like he knew full well what was happening to him. He could feel it – could feel the pounding all over his body. He throbbed (which sounded really dirty and nasty), but it wasn’t just in one part of his anatomy. He was throbbing everywhere with adrenaline, like he’d just gone mountain climbing instead of lighting a metaphorical fire with Annie through their lip interaction. “It’s your fault though.” He was still smiling, showing exactly how he was taking this blame on her. He liked it, to be honest. He liked to feel this way, he liked that he could feel this way and that it was Annie making him feel this way. And was even worse, but….not in a worse manner(?). His heart accelerated with her hand up his shirt. He could hardly believe she was driving him this far into insanity, but there she was and so he was forced into believing. He almost closed his eyes in some state of pleasure, but he forced them to stay open so he could watch. (That sounded so perverted, you have no idea.)

Her mouth found his again, and he detected some kind of desperate spark. He couldn’t deny it, and he couldn’t deny that despite the temperatures outside, it was kind of hot in here. Well, Annie was on top of him, literally, and he was already pretty high in temperature to begin with. Without loosing his grasp on her lips, he let go of her face and hip for a quick few seconds to take off his jacket. He threw it in the direction of Beast, almost hoping it would scare the cat away to leave him and Annie alone, but he didn’t think it did. He could barely hear it fall against the wall to the floor, probably past the cat at the other end of the couch. He didn’t want to, once again, let go of his connection to her lips, but unless he wanted to rip a perfectly good t-shirt, he had to. Denny just barely moved his lisp away from Annie’s to pull his shirt off as fast as he could, throwing it across the room just as he had with his jacket. The shirt made hardly any sound mostly because of how sheer it had been, but he didn’t notice it either way. Denny’s lips were urgently back on Annie’s as soon as the shirt was past his face, his hands back where they belonged as soon as the shirt left his finger tips.

God, if he were any more on fire, he’d be roasting. Denny couldn’t comprehend just how this worked, but he didn’t care too much to know. All he could feel was all he needed to be satisfied. Everything that had gone on from when Annie had pulled on his sweater this morning up to him knocking on her door was completely erased. All that was tangible, all that he was able to comprehend was right in front of him, under his finger tips, above his body. His hand that had been on her face moved to the back of her neck, pulling her closer gently enough so that she wouldn’t pull back, but strong enough to have her understand just how much he needed her. He didn’t need her naked, didn’t even need her to take off the sweater; he just needed her there. Mentally he needed her to stay right where she was, to keep kissing him so he’d keep kissing her. Physically he just needed her to keep on holding him that way, to keep this fire going between them. This fire wasn’t like any other he’d ever seen or been near. This fire radiated for as long as they stayed like this, and it kept them content and rather potent to each other, if that made any sense at all.

Ugh. He needed to breathe, yet again. Through taking his clothes off, Denny hadn’t even though about breath, but he needed it again. His lungs were starting to burn, but not in that fantastic way that the rest of him was from the fire. He pulled back just centimeters again, noticing just how tense he was within the urgency of his entire demeanor. “You make me crazy.” He didn’t move any muscles. He didn’t even loosen his grip on Annie; just kept holding her as close as he could to keep the fire from going out. He could hardly speak through his breathlessness, so his voice was a whispered, groggy tone. He sounded tired, but he really wasn’t. He was just trying to catch his breath. “But if this is an asylum, you can keep me here for as long as you want.” He smiled, still didn’t open his eyes, and just….sat there with his hands on Annie and his mind on Annie and his entire body on Annie. All of him was about Annie, and for a split second he couldn’t even believe he could get into this mindset. How one person could mysteriously become all about another single person he didn’t know, but he was experiencing it right then and there, and quite frankly he was loving it. All of it.

Once he was sure he was good and ready to not breathe again for a solid three minutes at the least, his lips were right back up against Annie’s, right where they belonged. He could feel just the same things as he could before, but instead of just getting used to it and shrugging it all off, he found it more possible to enjoy it all and bask in it. Flames crawled up every one of his arteries and limbs and veins, engulfing him in a fire that was unlike any other he’d ever even come across. He didn’t know where these sensations would lead, have it be where they lead the night before or not, but at the moment he didn’t care. Denver was completely content on staying where he was, so long as he could continue to kiss his girlfriend, his Annie. The hand that had been on her hip moved slowly around her waist until he had it all the way around her like a seat belt that went around her back. He didn’t pull her too much closer because he didn’t think she’d be comfortable if he did, but he just kept his arm there. He was plenty comfortable where he was, how he was.



1269 -- for seren/annie <3 -- i made but lyrics go to relient k duh. -- i feel like we're writing erotic almost. XD babyerotica without groan, hovering, moaning, ect. js. <3

[ANNABELLE MARIE HURLEY]

YOU'VE GOTTA GIVE A LITTLE, BUT YOU KNOW IT TAKES A LOT TO GET OVER,
'cause it makes no sense to be permanent if i can't feel right!

"Good," she said, smiling. "I plan on it." She wouldn't let go of what they had, never. She was sick of trying to second guess it, and she was trying to be comfortable with just accepting it. Annie didn't know what love was, but she knew that if she and Denny didn't have it, than this was at least the closest she would ever get to such a slippery and decisive emotion. She had told him that she didn't trust love, but she trusted him. She loved him, but her fear of that had nothing to do with him: it was just love. Love made her feel this way, love tricked her into thinking that it lasted forever. But what if it didn't? What if love was a bandit that had no regard for her long term happiness? It just wanted her now. But she was trusting Denny, she was trusting that he would never leave, even if this feeling did. As long as he stayed she would be okay.

What had happened this morning caused and unconscious shift in Annie's emotions. She'd thought about the crippling effects on her trust that the events might have caused, but she didn't think about what it did cause. And the reality was that something did change in her. Annie would be less sure of him in dire situations. Maybe it would never effect them, though, because he was the only person she trusted completely (she trusted Abby and Boss, but not nearly with as much faith as she had in Denver). Maybe it would come back to bite her in a vulnerable situation, and maybe they would just forget about. All that she knew for now was that she had seen a part of Denver that she had never expected to see, and it had affected her; there wasn't any way that it couldn't have affected her. She was just hoping it would never happen again, for the sake of both of them. 

Things were escalating fast between them. She didn't know how much longer she could exercise her self control. Annie didn't mind at all. Kissing was nice, more could be nice because it couldn't be bad. It just seemed like a win-win either way. However, Annie wasn't as prepared as Denny had been, and that realization was a bit sobering, so she started to pull back. It was nothing like this mornings end to the kissing.  Tearing her lips from his was more of an effort to get a breath, and then she pulled him over and in a weird series of motions they were laying on the couch, both on their sides. She let out a little giggle, because she wasn't sure if she had meant to do that or not. All she knew was the kissing was over and now she was laying down with Denny like she had been a week ago, except they were both on their sides instead of Annie on top of him. Annie didn't have a very big couch, so in an effort to not fall off, she had to be squished against Denny, much closer than they had been when they were kissing. She didn't mind at all. He just let off heat that still turned her on; even without the kissing and physicality. Their legs were tangled together and his jeans were rough against her bare legs, but she didn't even care… or notice, for that matter. 

She untangled her hands from the back of his head, and ran them down past his neck and his chest to his stomach, and then back up to his chest. Smooth skin, skin that was her's. He said that she could have as much of him as she wanted, and she was going to take advantage of that. It wasn't meant to be sexy, or anything (and it probably wasn't because she was too close for her arms to manage the movement smoothly) it was just appreciative. Appreciating his warmth and shirtlessness. Mmm, she thought. She hadn't thought that he could get any better, but now he was shirtless and she was dizzy from all that had happened. She kept her hands there so that she could feel his thudding heartbeat, still. It hadn't slowed in the last few minutes; if anything, it was faster. It beat wildly like a hummingbird's wings, loud, fast, vivid. Maybe to some people a heartbeat couldn't be vivid, couldn't have color, but then again, no one saw things the way Annie did. She could hear it as well, hear his thudding pulse hard and sloshing like a river rapid. Was her's that loud, too?

She smiled at him, looking up at his face feeling like her own would break her face in half. She had never smiled so much as she had in the past week, nit even at any point of their friendship. "I love you, too, Denny." She leaned forward and kissed him again. It was her inflection because she was underlining this: she meant it, she wanted him to know she meant it. The kiss was a lot like a small version of the heated make out from earlier, but put on ice. It was kind of long, but still sweet, very different from the fire. Maybe it was just like a little flame, candlelight kindred between them. It was dedicated, meaningful, a memorable kiss that meant more than just the fact that they couldn't keep their hands off each other. That was good, but Annie's idea of relationships coaxed her to slow down their speed with a kiss like this. She pulled back slowly, keeping her face very close though, so that he could feel the slightest movements of her lips when she spoke. "And I'm not so afraid, anymore."


956 - her outfit is the jacket, duh. - lyrics to forever the sickest kids - I was totally okay with this until you used the word erotic. then I felt dirty, SO YOU CAN BLAME YOURSELF FOR THE CEASING OF THE KISSING. xD

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

i felt i was home 'cause
EVERYTHING MADE SENSE WHEN YOU WERE WITH ME.

It didn’t matter what they were doing. Actually, in all honesty, they could have been doing anything and Denny would have been happy. There were few things that he needed to be in this state these days, though only two weeks ago it had taken a whole monument of events to even so much as pull a few little emotions out of him. Well, that was if you were someone that didn’t know him well. Now, even the people that didn’t know his first name knew the look on his face. They recognized it from experience or maybe the movies the way Denny did. But now, after only a week, they could see a whole different expression, almost a completely different person than they had before, when they all thought he had intentions of killing their young daughters with the front fender of his car. He wasn’t that guy, never had been, but now people actually saw past that exterior that he carried around. Now, because of Annie, people could see a part of him that was really Denny, and for once he didn’t consider that a weakness.

He wasn’t affected when she started to pull away, mostly because she wasn’t pulling away all at once. Actually, it was just gradual, and Denny could handle that. That didn’t mean he could breathe or get a hold on his breathing habits, but it did mean that things weren’t going too fast or far. Good; everyone needed some pacing sometimes, and the fact that she was still in his sweater almost sort of proved that point. And to be honest, having her legs between his (the same legs that were going to drive him nuts eventually) felt so much better than having her on his lap. He just felt more comfortable laying like this with Annie for whatever reason. Denny didn’t care to know the reason, just that he did feel this way. In any case, they just laid together and held each other, just the way Denny liked it. This should have been back in his bed, and he knew that they both knew that, but he would settle for her couch, if you could call this state of euphemism settling. Denny wouldn’t.

His arms moved to hold her to him like she was his little toy, and he was little boy (haha, rhyme scheme) ready for bed. Denny couldn’t just not….even with their proximity and the heat being exchanged between them, he needed to have his hands on her somehow. It was just one of those dire needs, like if he didn’t touch her everything would fall apart. At least he was able to control his urges enough to just hold her, and that was efficient enough to suffice his urgent necessity to be attached to her. His hands kept them close enough so that neither of them would tumble off of the couch, and Annie didn’t seem to mind. Good, because if she did he wasn’t sure how he’d react. He let her kiss him, loving the interaction no matter what the feelings behind it were. There was no fire anymore, but that was okay. Their fire was growing fast, and he understood her need to slow it a bit. The fear that maybe they’d grow too fast crept into his mind again, only slightly though because most of his attention was directed on Annie, like she was the brightest star in the night sky and all he could seem to look at was her. Actually, that was a pretty accurate (or at least as close to accurate as he could get) description of how he felt about her most of the time, but he didn’t say anything about it because it was just too out of character for him to do so.

He could tell her he loved her all day every day, but comparing her to the stars was too out of character of him to do? Okay, whatever; he just pushed the thoughts of his mind, all of them, and focused just on Annie.

That was all he needed to focus on. That was all there was to focus on, besides the cat who had obviously scurried away, probably at the sight of flying clothes. Whatever, Denny didn’t actually have to focus on the cat. He just needed to see and hear and feel what was right in front of him, and he was, and so he smiled. He let her touch him, let her slither her hand around his body because he didn’t care. Well, he did, just not in the sense that he felt the need to stop her. Annie was his; he was Annie’s; they belonged to each other and that entailed each and every part of the other person. As far as Denny saw it, anyway. Her hand felt extremely cold against his skin, which caused him to involuntarily shiver, but it wasn’t the most unpleasant feeling ever. It was just the difference in their temperature, and he could handle it. To cover for the shiver, or rather just to make Annie feel like she wasn’t causing him pain or something, he smiled and kissed her quickly, but not as quickly as his little pecks that he was infamous for.

Listening to her speak was…..well, there wasn’t much else like it. Denny didn’t really understand it; he didn’t understand how one person could affect him so much that when she spoke, all other noises in the entire universe were blacked out and the vast vacuum of space and time was only filled with the sound of her voice. Her voice didn’t need to be full of bells or a clear, omniscient sound that filled the whole room around him and bounded off the walls to ring in his ears. All that mattered was that she was speaking to him, and what she was saying. Of course, if she was screaming he wouldn’t be holding her like this, so what she was saying was just as important as her speaking, but the fact that she was even looking at him after his outburst made all the difference. He smiled, because hearing her say that she wasn’t so scared of telling him that she loved him, of trusting him enough to tell him so made his whole world ignite in the same kind of fire that engulfed them in their make out sessions.

“I already said it,” he started, “but I really do love you.” That was sort of his less-cheesy way of telling her that he was extremely happy she could tell him without hesitation or extra words thrown in her sentence to throw off the effect of the words. That was just....that was how Denny was going to keep the conversation going? Were they really at that point? He didn't like to think so, and so he wracked his brain for something to say. He could bring up Christmas or something, but he didn't want to pressure Annie into buying him a present, especially since it was Black Friday. Plus, exchanging presents wasn't important to him (even if he had already ordered his present for Annie earlier in the week); the fact that she was his girlfriend this year was enough of a present for him.

Denny sighed, trying to push any thought of an awkward conversation starter out of his train station. His face didn't falter, but he was sure his sigh gave off some kind of disappointed sound. He was disappointed in himself so far, just for not having anything to say. Well, that was until something clicked. "You know," he started again, sort of half-smiling now as he bit his lip. He was actually shy about this, but it was because of his misconduct before, not the fact that he was bashful when it came to speaking. "I'm really lucky to have you." Many people would argue with that, but not Denny. "I don't know many other girls that would automatically forgive their boyfriends after an outburst like mine this morning." He was probably killing the mood, but he was just trying to tell Annie how grateful he was to have her as his. He figured just saying it would do the trick to fix whatever he was melting right there.

"I'm just.....really extremely lucky to have someone like you be mine who wants me to be theirs too."




LOST COUNT JS. -- for seren/annie <3 -- i made but lyrics go to relient k duh. -- SORRY OKAY? either way it think this was cute. :) i thought this was a good place to end my post so...yeah :)

[ANNABELLE MARIE HURLEY]

YOU'VE GOTTA GIVE A LITTLE, BUT YOU KNOW IT TAKES A LOT TO GET OVER,
'cause it makes no sense to be permanent if i can't feel right!

Annie listened to him patiently because he seemed worried about what he was saying. Shy, bashful almost. She smiled a little, amused but not in a condescending way. I'm really lucky to have you. Annie couldn't help but be stuck on that as he moved on. Was he really so terrible that he thought he was lucky to have her? She had all of these arguments on the tip of her tongue on why he should think otherwise. But she wasn't going to waste her time and breath saying them because she was done fighting against, she was only fighting for their relationship. 

I don't know many other girls that would automatically forgive their boyfriends after an outburst like mine this morning. Annie bit her lip, chewing it thoughtfully as her brain worked. She thought back to this morning. It was surprising how long ago it seemed, but how vivid everything still was. It had only been a few hours ago, but somehow it felt like yesterday. But his reaction, his face… she remembered it too visibly. She had to make a conscious effort not to cringe because she felt like she was living through it again. His reaction had been subtle compared to her near screaming, but his words had hurt her, nonetheless. That was worse than him screaming; his biting smirks and dry, precise cuts had been what did the damage. His criminal smirk had cut her up on the inside, and that was what, in the end, made her run; not the words or the tension, but to just see that alien feature on her boyfriend's face had scared her too much. So, it was also Annie's fault for her overreaction. No one else would have taken such offense to it, but she was very sensitive about her bulimia; she couldn't help it and no one could really blame her for it. She guessed that once again put the blame back on Denver, though, because he should have known better than to say those things to her. He should have known she was vulnerable. So she told him. "It wasn't a big deal. You didn't mean it, I know you're better than that." But she didn't know; she just fervently hoped that he wouldn't take a low blow like that when she was already down. She was just hoping with all her heart that he hadn't meant it. 

"I'm a bit to blame, too. I guess that I was already feeling vulnerable, so when you said stuff about it when I was already feeling... vulnerable… well it hurt more than it should've." That was Annie's sick way of taking a low blow; it sounded like she was apologizing but she was doing anything but. She pointed out exactly what he had done, but that was probably for the best because he needed to know. She told him what was wrong without accusing. But it was still a low blow, nonetheless. It was still her taking advantage of him opening up, like he had done to her. She felt bad because of that, but at the same time she didn't; some small part of her screamed he still deserved it. And the larger part grudgingly agreed. 

His arms tightened around her, pulling her close. She couldn't help but think of how safe he made her feel, how protected she was in this position, so close to him. Annie thought back to the first time she had ever been so close; had it only been a week ago? They'd been laying on her bed, and Annie's head was screaming for Denny to kiss her. But instead he had just wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her unbearably close for that moment. But she hadn't pulled away or gotten confused, or even stayed where she was; instead she had rested her head on his chest. Because he just made her feel unbelievably safe, and protected, and cared for. When Denny had stood up for her against Seth - when he didn't even know what he was defending - Annie had felt so loved in that moment. Every moment she was with Denny she felt like so much more than she had her whole life. He made her unbelievably important. Annie felt very small, suddenly, which was odd considering that she was just thinking about how big he made her feel. "Besides, how could I be mad be when you make me feel so safe?" her voice was tiny. "You have no idea how grateful I am for that. Forever it's just been Annie, it's just been me. But not anymore." She smiled a little, but had to struggle to keep eye contact with him. She felt like she was squirming under his gaze. "Denny, you make me feel like forever, like I'll always mean something to someone when I used to mean nothing."

She was finally able to keep a steady gaze with him, and she took in his eyes. She had always just passed over them, but she took a moment to really study him, because she didn't know when the next time she would be able to look at him like that again (Annie had issues with eye contact… unless she was defiant or something, but that was irrelevant right then). His irises were huge, but dark. Chocolaty brown, strikingly similar to his pupils. She wished more people would take the time to look at Denver the way she did. When you could watch and study him the way she did, you could see that he was harmless, he was innocent. He was a man forced to grow up, a boy that had his child hood taken too soon. Annie seemed to be the opposite; she was born the way she was, with her attitude and her faults. She had just gotten more sour as time went on; and apparently so had Denny. But now they were both changing. Denny was getting it back, turning into the man he should have grown up to be instead of pushed into this life he had. And Annie was slowly becoming someone she had never been. This was a stranger in her skin, but one she welcomed gladly. 

She was someone new, but someone old. He made her feel that way, he changed her into who she had potential to be. He softened edges she didn't know she had, changing her… but not in a way she resented. She was still Annie; just in love. 

"Denny, you make me feel infinite."



1,086 - her outfit is the jacket, duh. - lyrics to forever the sickest kids - enjooooi. (: sucking

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

i felt i was home 'cause
EVERYTHING MADE SENSE WHEN YOU WERE WITH ME.

He deserved that. Well, in a way. Denny had done what he’d done, there was no denying that, and so he deserved that and probably much more than what she was dishing to him. Still the fact remained that he was better than that, that he could be better and work better and harder. Denny couldn’t submit himself to that feeling of completely letting go again, at least not in the sense that he had this morning. He wouldn’t; his determination wouldn’t allow him to become that awful, horrible, terrible monster. It could never happen again, because at that point he hadn’t known what he was saying, and he hadn’t meant any of it. Anything he’d said had come through the monster, moved through his mind because of the monster and – well he just sounded like a junkie instead of Denny with a Vulture Superiority Complex.

“Um, no,” he said. He didn’t sound argumentative, and the small smile on his face suggested that he was sort of playing only not really. There was no room for Annie to blame herself for anything that had happened this morning. Denny didn’t blame Annie, not even for her bulimia, and so he found no room for her to blame herself. She was the innocent one in this situation, and he was the lucky one for having her understand that he hadn’t been able to control himself. He found it almost comical that he could control the monster during foreplay, but when it came to something like her not eating his breakfast because she’d end up puking it up nothing was held back in him. It wasn’t all that he’d just let go of control, it was that he’d lost it; the monster and infiltrated and taken over his entire being, once again making him sound like a junkie on some hardcore Meth. “Vulnerability around me isn’t something I should be taking advantage of, especially not with you. I’m not that kind of guy, Annie.” He thought she knew that, but enforcing it might make the statement more real, more truthful.

Still, he was grateful that she wasn’t completely holding this against him. She knew him, and she knew that what she’d seen this morning wasn’t him at all. Denny had been there, hidden in the features and the teeth behind the smirk, but other than that the monster had pushed him into the deepest, darkest part of his own mind. He’d been stuck until Annie’s words had made a deep cut into his skin (although not physically). The monster had escaped then, probably in fear of any more of Annie’s lashes, and it had every right to be. But Denny was himself now, and the monster was miles away. He couldn’t detect it, and he knew him and Annie were safe from its reigns. Eventually it would come back to claim what it thought was rightfully its’ (Denny’s sanity), but by then Denny would have prepared himself enough to be able to fight it off. Because that’s what he’d vowed to do after all; he’d promised himself and Annie both that he would fight as long and as hard as he could to keep them together, to make them stay in love for as long as they could stand each other.

Once again, listening to her put him in this mindset that nothing else on this planet could. What Annie was saying only made him feel more like her boyfriend, which made his small smile grow until he could hardly contain the size of it. He hadn’t ever treated someone the way he treated Annie; not even Jess, the one and only person Denny had ever gone to jail for. Well, now he’d go to jail for Annie. Hell, he’d go to the ends of the earth for Annie if he had to, and if it made her feel safe and secure with him around then that was just a plus. He wasn’t out to be a hero, just her rock to lean on and depend on. So her words brought him this sense of confidence he’d never really felt, like what he was doing was whole heartedly right, and he knew it in every living part of his entire being. Listening to and hearing her words made Denny feel like his choices were finally benefiting him instead of ending him in juvenile detention with a permanently screwed up permanent record.

When it came time to speak, Denny was speechless. What did he say that would top what she’d said without being so cheesy it was hardly believable? Not much, and anything he could think of just wasn’t enough. He could tell her how she puts him on an edge that he’s never even gone near before, an edge he’d never dared get close to in fear of falling. But now he wasn’t scared of falling, now falling was part of the deal and instead of the horrid rocky bottom at the end of the fall, Denny was hurtling towards a huge bed of soft feathers that would catch him and keep him in his place. How did he put that into words and not sound like he was pulling it out of his ass? How did he even say something like that to Annie, even if he knew he could tell her anything and everything? He didn’t; he’d keep that thought to himself and find something else, something she’d rather hear to say.

In the meantime, he found himself blushing, but he wasn’t sure why. He’d been ashamed at what had happened this morning, and then now he was blushing because she felt safe with him. ’It’s my job’ just didn’t feel like the right thing to say, not the way that his decision were feeling with her words. He was honestly at a loss of words, and so he kissed her in an attempt to try and find what he wanted to say. Another quick kiss, but yet still longer than his pecks, and that was it, then he was back to laying so close he might as well have been kissing her. “I-” he started, cutting himself short with the fact that he didn’t have any way to finish that sentence. He sighed, sort of aggravated with himself for not being able to speak, but he didn’t want to ruin the feelings he had because of Annie and her confessions. “I’ve never been someone’s protector of sorts.” That was all he could think of, but he hoped it was good enough.

Her words rang through his mind a few times before he picked out certain things he could reply to. His smile started to grow again with the feelings bubbling up in his stomach because of his planned out responses. “Annie, you will always mean something to me. People don’t just up and forget the first person they ever loved, especially not me. You will always hold me the way you do, no matter what.” Finally, his words felt as right as his choices did. He was telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth like he was under Oath. Denny would never ever let anyone keep his whole heart and soul the way he let Annie did, mostly because he knew he would never ever meet anyone quite like her again. If she up and walked out of his life, forgetting him for who he was and moving on to someone more worthy, he’d be stuck, fixed at zero, completely and utterly alone and unwanted. He wouldn’t be Denny, so he might as well be the monster.

But Annie was there, and she was tangible, and she was Denny’s. There was nothing in the way of them, literally except for what was left of their clothing. “You make me feel like the person I never got to be. I’m not talking about this morning – forget that. I’m talking about how without you, I feel like I’m only a fraction of myself. When I’m not here or you’re not at my place, there’s always something missing, always something I’m searching for. And then we’re together, and I’ve found what it is, and everything makes sense.” He was starting to sound like those crazy cheesy movies he’d seen too much for a guy. “We just……make sense.”




1388 -- for seren/annie <3 -- i made but lyrics go to relient k duh. -- OMFG HOPE THAT'S GOOD. <3

[ANNABELLE MARIE HURLEY]

YOU'VE GOTTA GIVE A LITTLE, BUT YOU KNOW IT TAKES A LOT TO GET OVER,
'cause it makes no sense to be permanent if i can't feel right!

Annie had never felt so vulnerable as she had in that moment, but she had never felt safer. They both knew what it took for her to feel like this. She was so static about her emotions, but the same time she was maddeningly stable; once she thought something it wouldn't change, and it took a lot to convince her. But he had convinced her to love. Her whole heart was out on the table for him, she told him what she thought about all of it, her deepest feelings for him to look at, to watch, to study, to shred apart with merciless claws. She had never done that with anyone, ever, not even in the slightest way. Annie never shared anything with anyone, but she shared everything that she ever had with Denver. But at the same time she had never felt so safe, she had never felt so sure of someone's feelings for her. Annie had already told him how much she trusted him to keep her secrets, and not judge her for them. She trusted him to love her, and not only physically, because he has already done that just fine. It was trusting him to never cross her. He had already said he would do everything to keep them together, but that was just a sentence to her. It took his actions to show how he really felt. And so far he'd kept his word. He could have left after he lost his self control, but he came back and begged, apologized after he had already been forgiven. She had no quarrel with him, but he still wanted to prove himself. She figured that was pretty convincing. 

Annie, you will always mean something to me. People don’t just up and forget the first person they ever loved, especially not me. You will always hold me the way you do, no matter what. Annie didn't like the way he said "the first person they ever loved". It unsettled her, and uprooted the foundations she had been setting for herself. Did that mean there would be others? Even if she was the first and held his heart the most, she wanted it for as long as she lived, if not longer. Shouldn't he have said "only"? Annie should be the only one he ever looked at. The only one. She tried to shake it off though, because she had just gone through the long process of convincing herself to not think that way? She shook the thoughts from her head, and tried to focus more on what he was saying instead of idling wasting their time with her mental, moral arguments. 


You make me feel like the person I never got to be. I’m not talking about this morning – forget that. Annie was trying, and she kind of was, but when he brought it up it was difficult to look away or something, or think it away. She was forced to bring it to the front of her mind. I’m talking about how without you, I feel like I’m only a fraction of myself. When I’m not here or you’re not at my place, there’s always something missing, always something I’m searching for. Annie had kind of felt the same way her whole life, but she was just too lazy to search. And then we’re together, and I’ve found what it is, and everything makes sense. she had to agree. They made sense, everything was clearer. Granted, it was harder, but it was worth working for. Annie couldn't decide if it was a burden or a gift to mean that much to him. If she ended up hurting him, she would never forgive herself, because he deserved better than that, despite what he thought. But his voice calmed her nerves and hectic thoughts, and at this point she didn't really want to talk at all. Her throat felt clogged up and useless. She had nothing to say anyway, no ideas to share with him. She wished she did, but she had nothing to offer. At this point, anything she said would just be a waste of breath.  She needed more thought for it; but the silence didn't bother her at all. 

In some weird way, they did make sense. On paper, she wasn't even sure if they made sense, but her bias forced her to think that they always looked perfect with each other, no matter what the perspective was. She was volatile and confusing, he was calm and collected. He should be the water to her fire, but instead they both lit each other up like crazy. They were pariahs to their own species, forced together by fate. He was her best friend, he knew everything about her. But the more she though at about, she noticed that they were more. Her and Abby were nearly best friends, and Abby knew everything about Annie, too, although not by choice. Thy got drunk together, laughed together, they made sense, too. But a different kind of sense. Denny would always be her shoulder to lean on, her consult, her lover. Abby was just as hectic as Annie, and they relied on each other, but they needed more. It was obvious in the way that Annie reached for Denver, and Abby reached for Boss. (If only Annie knew what was happening with Abby then, how she was going through the same predicament that Annie had trudged through the night before. But she was dealing with it in a different way.) She relied on him in every way she could. 

And she had never felt like this about anyone. 

Whether it was just how when he looked at her and she felt important, or how his name on his lips sounded like it was meant to be there, how whenever he touched her like last night she felt a fire she never had with anyone. How when he said he loved her, there was an emotion she didn't Sven have a word for, but it felt like fireworks in her chest, all the pain and beauty that a literal version of that analogy would have. But the burn was numbing so the pain didn't exist, just please. She closed her eyes. "Yeah," she echoed. "We do."

Annie sighed. It was a fulfilled, yet still slightly irritable, sound. She couldn't decide how her body felt right then. It was one of those uncomfortable moments where you just weren't comfortable.  The temperature felt mixed up, wrong and odd and not right in her skin. She leaned forward and kissed him lightly, mirroring the motion that he used to comfort him, or fill up space. Their lips were still torn up from so much kissing over the past twelve hours. She wondered if lips could get sore, because she forties her's might get that way soon. She kicked her legs down so she was sitting with her back to him, and pulled his jacket off her body, reducing her to her bra and some boy shorts. She couldn't even answered why she had done that. She felt a little self conscious still, but ignored it, like practice. She turned to lay back down, and grabbed a blanket over the back of the couch, draping it over them, warming up the cold that the loss of her jacket had introduced. When Annie laid back down, she and Denny were in that spooning position, her bare back warmed up by his chest. She got extra close, begging that he wrap his arms around her again. She liked him close, she liked the comfort, she liked the heat. 

When he did, she linked her fingers through his, bringing a his fist to her face, and kissed his hand five times, once for each knuckle. She closed her eyes, and kind of missed looking at his face, but now they were closer and it calmed her and made her feel safer. He convinced her to stay there, in his arms. She sighed. "I think we make perfect sense, and even if we don't at least we know we fit each other. You make me feel nicer than anyone has, and I didn't think I would ever feel this good. I didn't think that I would ever be so close or comfortable with anyone." she figured they had both thought about this a few times, about how much he knew about her compared to other people. He was so accustomed to her unpredictability that sometimes he knew her better than she knew herself. He filled a hole that she didn't even know was there. 


1,429 - her outfit is the jacket, duh. - lyrics to forever the sickest kids - not too bad for my iPod. (:

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

i felt i was home 'cause
EVERYTHING MADE SENSE WHEN YOU WERE WITH ME.

The realization that they were so amazing together that they actually made sense gave Denny the feeling of never wanting this to end. He’d never felt this kind of feeling before. Sure, no one ever wanted high school to end, just the school hours themselves to end; but after Denny had been taken to jail, he wanted high school to just be over already. Then he’d kind of wanted life to be over after that; he just wanted to fade into the back ground and be forgotten by the people that had tagged him as ‘that criminal’ kid. Denny didn’t really want or feel anything more than that….until he met Annie. He could remember from their first interaction that he’d felt a shift, even if it was slight and almost unnoticeable, Denny had recognized it. He hadn’t imagined that little shift would have become this monumental, all consuming feeling that couldn’t be described as anything but pure love. It was because of Annie that the shift had grown, as well as his perspective on everything he’d ever known.

Eventually, it had all become somehow related to Annie anyway.

If anyone had told him ten years ago that his whole world would be held up by one single girl, Denny would have laughed his ass off and called them psycho. He wouldn’t have believed them when he was….twelve. Well, duh. But even just six years ago, when he was sixteen, he wouldn’t have believed such a prediction. He hadn’t exactly been about the ladies or whatever, but Denny spent most of his time just getting through the day with music and parties every weekend. Girls were the last things on his mind, to be honest, unless there was that one quirky girl…..but none of them were ever like Annie. None of them had ever been so tedious in the best way imaginable, none of them had taken his entire mind, body, soul, and universe into their hands and just gazed at it until putting it together with their own dowry. There was no girl that could eclipse what she’d done to him; not now, not ever.

Denny’s thoughts cut short when Annie moved. For an instant, a pang of some unnamable emotion flew through him, making him feel lonely and cold. But he watched her without saying anything, finally realizing what was happening. To some extent, anyway. Without saying anything or even moving, Denny just watched and waited. She laid back down, bringing the blanket over them to make up for the cold that had gotten between them, but this time with her back to him. Well, he wasn’t going to complain because at least she was touching him, but this wasn’t exactly Denny’s favorite part of Annie. He loved her face, loved holding it and kissing it and just looking at her. Again, he wasn’t going to say anything against this, because as far as he was concerned being near each other was enough. He’d just told her that, and Denny being the loyal and honest person he really was, he would stick to what he said. Instead of whining and complaining, he just wrapped his arms around her from behind, holding her like he always did, and sighed.

He relaxed while she kissed his knuckles, sort of wishing those were his lips instead. Still, it calmed him enough to keep him from speaking. Denny would have fallen asleep if he was tired, but he honestly wasn’t. His body was still a bit sore, especially after hurrying to get dressed and running al the way to her apartment, but his mind was wide awake and his eyes were so light that if he tried to close them, they’d shoot back open like rockets lifting into space. That was a good thing, honestly. It meant he wouldn’t fall asleep and miss anything – and with that thought what else but Aerosmith popped into his head? The song overtook his mind for a second and his next sigh sounded a lot like the chorus of the song, but quickly it drifted off and Denny just stayed as quiet as he could.

That only lasted about as long as it took for him to come up with a response to what she’d said. Again, it took him time, because how did he top what she’d said without getting overly cheesy like an extremely slippery piece of pizza? The silence between them while he was in thought wasn’t awkward though – it was quite pleasant. It was just a silence filled up with thoughts, a silence filled with being together and love and…..Denny couldn’t even name some of the things he felt. It didn’t matter; he was in thought and smiled when he had what he wanted to say. First though, he kissed Annie’s neck because that was all he could reach, pushing her hair out of the way a bit to get to her skin. Then he put his face so close to her ear that his lips were millimeters from it, and he whispered his words so they wouldn’t totally startle her.

“I thought after jail I was on my own.” He paused for no apparent reason he could find. “For a while I was, and it made me feel like I would always be that way. And then……then I was given you.” He made her sound like she was a present, and at least to him she was. Annie had been a gift of sorts; he hadn’t really been sure of whether she was a good gift or not in the beginning, but it all worked out in the end. Regardless of how he saw her when they first met, he knew she’d make some sort of impact on his life, and that impact was visible to anyone that had been observing him. He’d gone from down and constantly angry at himself, quiet and reserved, to this kid with huge smiles on his face in public holding hands and being a public figure with an open mind. He was suddenly the guy he could have been if he hadn’t been so beaten up over his stupid decisions made when he was seventeen.

Denny didn’t dwell on that. He just kissed her neck again, smiling against Annie’s skin because she was there and he had her. She was right; at any given second he could take everything she had because she’d given it all to him, and crush it. But then again, she could do the same. He’d given her all he could, all that he had, and she could burn it and watch it all turn to ash whenever she wanted, and all Denny could do was sit back and watch. He was okay with that for now, because all she was doing was cuddling and laying with him. These were the times he’d always remember, the times he’d keep in his memory for as long as he could control them. “You changed me. You gave me something to believe in.” It might be hard for her to hear, he could understand, because Annie wasn’t all that into believing that she was a good thing. But Denny saw past the selfishness, saw past the sarcasm that was her personality. He didn’t care – he loved her for those things. Her selfishness fueled his, and though it sounded downright horrible, they were selfish with each other.

Neither of them were complaining, obviously.

“And I don’t know how because no one ever has before, and no one ever will again, but you managed to capture all of me.” Another kiss was planted on her neck. Denny kept his lips there for a few minutes, just enjoying the physical contact between him and Annie. Regardless of how far they ever got again, he could live like this. As long as they had these comfortable cuddling sessions, he’d be able to get over everything else.




1371 -- for seren/annie <3 -- hope it's not too cheesy <3

[ANNABELLE MARIE HURLEY]

YOU'VE GOTTA GIVE A LITTLE, BUT YOU KNOW IT TAKES A LOT TO GET OVER,
'cause it makes no sense to be permanent if i can't feel right!

Annie got chills when he kissed the back of her neck, brushing her hair out of the way, his fingertips felt funny - but right - on her skin. She liked that feeling though, the cold, bumpy, somehow exhilarating thing that quelled inside her when his lips touched any part of her. She wasn't sure why, but it seemed to reenforce the safety net kind of feeling. Maybe it was the heat, and from the back she felt more guarded and protected. But Annie didn't really know anything. She was very new to love. When he whispered in her ear, she got goose bumps all over her body. It was a different feel than before, it was purely instinctual and body related. It wasn't her mind or heart reacting to his, it was her body reacting to his body, more evidence that they were just made to lay together right like this, everyone agreed. She wasn't sure if the bumps on her body were from the air that his words made, or the fact that she was smashed up against him and wearing basically nothing. She didn't really care about her lack of clothing, though. Even with his hand lingering on her stomach and his arm resting around her waist, she still couldn't feel self-conscious. He was helping her work through it, unconsciously; he had been trying to break the habit, but by not doing anything he was being more beneficial than when he tried. It was because she was safe, she felt safe with Denver so close to her. Denny would not take advantage of her, he would not hurt her or scorn her or leave her alone. He had told her time and time again that he was there for her, he was there for whatever she wanted of him. She liked that idea very much, too. She had always had to create safety for herself, and it made her have to give up emotional luxuries because of it. And that's what she really meant when she said she was grateful for his protection; now she was able to feel things she never had before, and open up emotionally. He was quietly coaxing this wolf out of the underbrush, he had been for years. Gaining her trust, slowly but surely. But then things had gotten messed up when he had just pounced on her with those three words, but she found out that she felt that way as well, and then... well, they knew the story. Annie mentally quieted herself and listened to his words calmly, savoring the sound of his voice, and saving her thought for when she needed to speak. 

He said something about jail, and it tugged roughly on her mind. She still wondered so much about Denny's time in jail, and everything before that. She felt like she was looking at a piece of Swiss cheese when she thought about Denny's past. She wanted to think about it, but she knew it was a necessity to ignore it for now and listen to everything he had to say. His words hit her awkwardly, rough and difficult to confront, but when he whispered in her ear like that his smooth and relaxed voice changed her jumpy demeanor. For a while I was, and it made me feel like I would always be that way. And then……then I was given you. Annie swallowed roughly, wishing she could see his face, but glad he couldn't see her's. She needed to look at his expressions, but she wondered if he would be confused or disappointed with the dumbfounded look that sat on her face. Me? she wanted to say, in disbelief. She wasn't a gift, she didn't think she could change anyone's life - especially for the better. She still didn't know how he found her so wonderful when even she saw herself as a burden. Even Annie didn't want to be stuck with herself. But she was selfish enough to not argue against what he said, she didn't want to question anything because she didn't want him to come to his senses about how undeserving she was of him. She wished she could understand how she meant so much to him, why he cherished her so much. Sometimes he tried to explain, sometimes she tried to listen, but they just both seemed to miss the mark; he saw himself as a criminal, and Annie saw herself as a bother, a narcissistic bitch. But, hey, if that was Denny's thing, she wasn't gonna fight it. At this point she would take all that she could. 

You changed me. You gave me something to believe in. That statement did weird things for her. Annie couldn't even describe the chorus of things rushing through her body and heart right them. Like she had told him, she didn't know how she could ever mean so much to anyone. She didn't know how she would inspire, or leave a memory or positive mark. She was just Annie; the wolf with a back alley smile and a pocket full of singles (or at least she had been). She was so surprised and grateful and awestruck and satisfied and just so happy. And proud. She was so goddamn proud that she had changed him that way, that she had made him into the brilliant thing he was, she was so proud that she had done something; really, besides the band, this was the biggest accomplishment she had ever made, that she could ever hope to make. There would be nothing in her life to surpass this moment; but at the same time she knew that wasn't true, because Denver always seemed to be doing things that trumped past feelings in their magnitude. Her chest felt swelled up and ready to burst with just how much this all meant to her. She couldn't even think of words to define it, so she just stayed quiet and listened as he continued. 

And I don’t know how because no one ever has before, and no one ever will again, but you managed to capture all of me. Annie wanted to laugh a little. Hadn't it been the other way around, with him trying to tame her? She didn't even know she had done that; she had just gone about her life normally, and Denny seemed to have walked into a trap she didn't know she had set. And then she was suddenly in love, and then it was full circle. All she knew was she was intensely grateful for what she had done, but wished she could remember how she had done it. Maybe it would help her keep a hold like that on him forever. But he already said that no one would have him the way she would, and so she was going to be happy with his word, and happy with his arms around her - in that moment she didn't need anything else. In any moment she would never need more than him. 

"Denny, I… I don't know what to say. Except," she paused, trying to think because sometimes she was truly terrible at communicating. Except I'm thankful. I'm selfish, and I take things for granted all the time. But never you. When we were friends I did so much, and I see it now. But ever since this-" she squeezed his hand that was still laced together with her's, resting by her stomach "I know I never will again. Nothing has ever meant so much to me. Not even…not even shifting." she was quiet then, hoping the immensity of that wouldn't be lost on him. Shifting was her life, her escape, her everything. But… but that was just what it used to be. Now Denny was her sky, her horizon, her sun. He was everything she could ever want, and more, more than she thought she would ever want. She didn't know how one person had leaped into her live so suddenly and jolted it forever. It didn't seem possible. 

But there they were. 

After that she was much quieter. The room was filled up with an absence of sound that was as loud as a scream, but didn't affect her negatively at all. The silence was a combination of not knowing what to say and wanting the last thing she said to have as much meaning in it as it could possibly hold. She needed him to understand the magnitude of what she had just said. But silence didn't bother her at all, and it really wasn't silent because she could hear the both of their breathing, hear their bodies humming together with just the sounds of living. They worked together brilliantly, and with each breath you could hear the brush of their skin, and it was a pleasant thing to her ears. She could survive brilliantly in a thriving silence like that, and she did for a good amount of time. 

But her mind plagued her a little. It brought back the ideas of jail, of Denny being an inmate. That was a gaping hole in her knowledge of him, and she couldn't help that she wanted to fill it. She had placed so much of herself in his hands, and she was missing a crucial puzzle piece when it came to his past. She sucked on her lower lip quietly, and it was like you could hear the gears turning and the thought cranking inside her head. "Denver," she said quietly, cautiously. "You've never told me what it was like to be in jail." she sId it all at once and matter of factly so that it wouldn't seem like such a big deal, although she knew it was a monstrous deal. "Do you think you could tell me a little?" she left the question hanging in the air, but hurriedly added on a disclaimer. "I mean, you totally don't have to. It just… it changed you a lot, I'm guessing, and I'm really curious. But you're not obligated or anything, don't think you are." fuck. The back of her neck was burning. She had embarrassed herself by talking into circles. But she tried to ignore it, and stroked her thumb along his hand. It was turning into another habit, but at least it wasn't a bad one. 


1,719 - her outfit is the jacket, duh. - lyrics to forever the sickest kids - holy lotsa words. Did shut just get real? XD

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

i felt i was home 'cause
EVERYTHING MADE SENSE WHEN YOU WERE WITH ME.

Something about the planets had to be in a line. Venus and Jupiter were aligned with Earth or something; Denny could feel it. Everything was just so right, and there really wasn’t much of another explanation to give than that of the Planets being aligned. The moment was perfect; everything was running smoothly and he found no reason to try and go forward and end up just ruining it all. Being wrapped around Annie was now one of his favorite things. It made him feel like the boyfriend he would have been to every girl he’d ever been with if he’d really ever been with another girl – but that didn’t mean he regretted that Annie was the only girl he’d ever been with. He wouldn’t have it any other way, actually; his point was more of that this protective feeling he got around Annie just made him feel like he was seventeen and crazy in love with her. He couldn’t even explain the way he felt in words, but that had already been established.

Her confessions just kept getting better and better. Not in the sense that they were juicy secrets to spread around the town; Denny had already made it perfectly clear that he wasn’t about to go around doing that. Secrets were secrets and because he knew he had some of his own, he wasn’t about to go betraying anyone’s secrets that they trusted him with. Especially Annie. So the fact that his words meant more to her than shifting, even if he was defeating her vice by a fraction of a millionth of a point or whatever system Annie was working by made his entire world light up again. Only this time instead of fire, Denny was watching his world light up with billions of neon lights that illuminated the land mass of his life, brought it into this dimension he’d never even tried to venture into before. He just felt so special (for lack of a better term), so wanted, so needed and depended on and really he’d only ever felt that way once ever before in his life. He was speechless.

With her words, he planted more kisses on her neck. He couldn’t do anything else; his mind was so elated that all he could do was attack her neck with his lips, which would likely result in pink spots later. With the last kiss, his lips turned up into a smile against her smooth skin and he sighed in such elation. If she couldn’t tell he was happy, she’d be deaf. Even in that state though, Denny couldn’t think straight enough to speak; he had nothing to say but everything to show even if she didn’t see him. His arms around her squeezed a bit, but not enough to hurt her. He was just pulling her closer to him, keeping her as close as he could without melding her into his shape. They were in that picture perfect state where they were both so happy in their own way – if someone had taken a picture of them they’d be all over the internet. Too bad Abby’s not here, he thought, though it was quite the sarcastic in a positive tone sort of thought. Abby didn’t need to be there to be the awkward third wheel while the two of them cuddled and told each other just how much they meant to the other.

For a while it seemed, there was silence. Silence that Denny was okay with. He liked it, actually; he didn’t know what to say and so he just laid there behind Annie with his face buried into her smooth neck and hair. He took in all that he could – her hair smelled so much like the forest regardless of showers or lack thereof and it just……it kept him in this space that felt a lot like a meadow. It was like that dream from the night before, where he’d chased her into the meadow, her on the ground, him in the sky, until he’d woken up to her telling him she loved him. Her skin was so soft it felt like the grass on a warm spring day, just after an April shower. Of course there was the occasional scratch or bruise from just being an active canine, but Denny enjoyed those too. It showed she lived, she had life, and it made him so happy that he was a part of that life. For an instant, he felt slightly insane with this elation, this euphoric state of being that he nearly just stopped and forced himself to calm down, but he didn’t. He decided he was just so happy that he wasn’t used to being this happy, and he had to get used to it.

And then she was speaking again. That wasn’t really a bad thing per se, it just knocked him out of his own mind. He started really listening after she said his name, and quickly he was taken back. It wouldn’t be accurate to say that his little planetary system he’d thought of before had been sucked up by a black hole, because really it was still there, but something had stopped its rotation around his sun. She asked him about jail and – why would she want to know about him then? He’d been quiet and reserved, hardly saying anything to anyone except for his mom when she came to visit. He’d been stuck in his own head without much paper and a limited amount of pens to write on and with, so songs had become scarce while he spent time in that small, cramped cell. It hadn’t been too much time, but it had been enough time to completely alter the fabric of who he’d once been and start to create the fabric of who he would be out of the recycled material. But Denny sighed anyway, because Annie deserved to know. Whether or not he’d recall everything, she deserved to know what it was like and how it made him who he is….or rather who he had been before he’d met her.

“Well, it wasn’t prison. I was seventeen and still living under my parent’s roof. So technically, I was a minor, and since the girl didn’t die when she got ran over, I was sent to juvie.” He sort of shrugged as if it wasn’t a huge deal, but it really was. Of course, if he’d been in prison he really would have been fucked up. Juvie was lke a cake walk compared to a real Jail. “But I didn’t have my mom there, didn’t have Jess or my dad there and no one really understood me. I can’t blame them since I was the only one there under a false charge, even though Jess was the only one that knew it.” Denny hadn’t exactly gone into juvenile detention expecting people to understand what was going on in his head. “I spent a lot of time doubting myself and hating myself for taking the blame. And I didn’t really have anyone to talk to about it, so the blame and hate just built on itself.” Denny really felt like sitting up and wiping his eyes in aggravation from just remembering all of these things, but he didn’t. He actually felt better with his arms around Annie, like even though he was the safety blanket, the fact that he had someone to protect was enough to keep him there.

“The bigger guys there picked on me for my size and the tiny guys liked to kick me around. They all thought they were tough and I was weak because I didn’t talk a lot.” He sighed again. These thoughts and feelings resurfacing couldn’t be a good thing, but he reminded himself that Annie deserved to know it all. She’d asked, and Denny found it harder and harder to tell her no every day. “I never really got hurt because as soon as those guys saw I could shift, most of them hid. I was surprised that I was one of the only shifters there, but I wasn’t the only one with a supernatural ability. There was one guy,” he said, taking a pause to…..chuckle? “God he had the most awful ability ever. He was constantly under solitary because he could turn people into stone with one touch. Never got close to me, thank god.” That was about the best, happiest thought he had from juvie. When he was done telling her about it though, Denny sighed and thought, staring straight ahead instead of at Annie’s skin or hair. “But mostly the worst part was just how I dealt with being there. I let things get on top of each other in my head and eventually I just affected who I cam out of there as.”




1471 -- for seren/annie <3 -- exactly 100 words more than last post! :D