UNDER A PAPER MOON

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

Things looked absolutely perfect from where Denny was. He was home, he got his job back at the book store (with seemingly more convenient hours), he and Annie were happy, and he was actually invited to something. Abby, he thought, invited him and Annie to this big bonfire or something, not that he really cared what they were being invited to. As long as he was invited, as long as he was wanted there, he would go. And Denny knew full well that as long as Annie was going, he’d be wanted. He hoped she didn’t mind that they weren’t going to get to snuggle up in bed, but then he really thought about it. Forgetting the bed, they’d get to be together on the beach, the one place the both of them seemed to miss a lot despite what they’d gone through together there. He didn’t really want to think about that first time on the beach, though. Denny wanted to be able to go to the beach and relax, feel remnants of the night they’d gotten married, then come close to the beach, to that little broken house that was covered in vegetation and plants that Denny had fallen in love with looking at, but not in the same manner as he’d fallen for Annie.

Either way, he figured going out and being around people wouldn’t be too much of a hassle. They had each other, and as long as Denny paid attention to Annie, everything would be good, right? There wouldn’t be any moping, no reason to get depressed, nothing to push and pull the monster around inside of his mind. He felt good. He could bring in money to pay bills, he was able to spend time with Annie without instantly falling asleep, his sister and his dad weren’t bothering him, and the world seemed like a brighter, easier to deal with kind of place since they’d gotten back from New York. It was like spending time away from the one place they’d called home had given Denny a sense of ‘been there, done that’ in the way that he’d gone to war and come back safely. He was mostly unscathed and his life was better than it had been before, probably because of this sense of knowing that now that they’d gone to what seemed like the end of the road and back, Denny felt closer, more connected to everything that meant anything to him. Even his job, although it still broke him away from Annie if only for a little while. The store wasn’t too far and the hours were better than they had been before he left for the same amount of pay; he felt like maybe there would be a managerial position with his name on it soon, if he worked hard enough for it.

At the same time, Denny didn’t want to feel too confident. He was scared that if he expected to much and nothing came through for him, he’d be off worse than he had been previously, and Denny was too scared to even think of what that might mean for him and Annie. He didn’t want to explore the options, so he just ignored the thought and went on about his day. It was a good thing he had the afternoon off; he made it home in just enough time to have lunch with Annie before they started to get ready. He changed out of the jeans and button down shirt he had to wear at work and pulled on the single pair of swim trunks he had (blue in color with stark yellow flower print like you’d find in a surf shop down closer to the beach from the apartment) and a solid light grey v-neck. He sort of wished he owned a pair of flip flops to pull the whole outfit together, but frankly Denny didn’t care to waste money on shoes when he could be spending it on food, bills, maybe a car one day. For now, he just turned around and sat on the bed, waiting for Annie to get ready as he slipped on his little black shoes that he pretty much wore everywhere. He hadn’t even noticed, but Denny felt like these were his favorite shoes, the most prized possession he had to his name or something; he just wore them all the time, everywhere, no matter the occasion. He’d worn them when they’d gone to the courthouse and gotten married and, as far as he thought, he would have worn them to a formal, fancy wedding if they’d had one, like that dream he’d had a few nights ago.

“You think we should take Leo?” Leo seemed to love the beach. Annie told Denny how she’d gone with him a few times (as in, she’d shifted and just run around with Leo because he was sort of like a pack member and she was sort of like the pack leader) while he was at work; she’d told him how the puppy loved to play in the water as Annie just sat back, laughed, and watched. He could see that, mentally; he could envision Leo jumping around like the little hyper pup he was, throwing water into the air and catching it on his back, in his fur, just creating a party with himself because he was a puppy, and that was how they functioned. He thought maybe it would be a good idea to take Leo; the puppy could use the fresh air, but that did mean that they’d have to watch him constantly, make sure he didn’t get lost or stolen, and when the sun went down, they’d have to keep a close watch on him to make sure he didn’t go swimming in the dark, black waters under the moonlight and drown or something. Because Denny didn’t really want to think that way, he shook his head and tied his shoes. “Eh, never mind.”

Speaking of Leo, the puppy came into the room then, as if he knew Denny was talking about him, and sat up on the bed next to Denny. Denver sighed but smiled, lowered his foot to the ground, and placed a hand just over Leo’s head. The puppy reached up and pushed his head right up to Denny’s palm, and Denny smiled a bit wider because he was proud of his choice. Leo was probably the more loyal of the two pets, though Beast really wasn’t a pet at all. He was more of a tenant that was living with them for free because he ate whatever he could find outside and the only space he occupied was the tiny bit of space on the couch that he used to sleep on. Leo, however, was definitely a pet, and one that Denny could count on. He meant that in the manner that he knew Leo wasn’t going to just randomly shift one day and steal everything; he wouldn’t hurt Annie, and he wouldn’t give Denny a reason to let the monster lose on him. The puppy was really a dog, completely a canine, which gave Denny the sense of pride that he had in that moment. He’d picked the right dog; he’d gone to the shelter for fifteen minutes every day for weeks straight to make sure of it, and then when Annie’s birthday had come around, he’d brought the right puppy home. It had seemed right away that Leo had fit in, that he’d known he was Annie’s present, that he had a family now, and maybe that was why he was such a good puppy. Denny knew for himself that once he’d had Annie locked in for good, once he knew she was his family, his whole world had seemed to make sense. Even when things didn’t seem to make sense, there was still an element of sense-making.

It was then that Annie seemed to be ready to go. Denny saw her from the corner of his eye; she came around the bed and stood in front of her two boys (because, in different ways, both of them belonged to Annie). Denny smiled and looked away from Leo but continued to run his fingers over the puppy’s head. He smiled and Leo licked his wrist, but Denny still didn’t look away from Annie. “Ready?” When she answered him, Denny patted Leo’s head once more before standing up and taking her hand. The puppy yipped and Denny smiled and took the dog’s face in both of his hands. “Calm down, you. We’ll be back in a little while!” Leo gave off a soft, almost sad sound, but lifted his head out of Denny’s grasp and moved fast out of the room. He ran all the way to the door before Denny could even chuckle at the silliness, the short attentiveness of the puppy. It was cute, he would admit, but he couldn’t really give it much thought at the moment. Denny took Annie’s hand again, smiled some more because it was all he could do with his face these days (unless, of course, it was attached to Annie’s, and even then he was still smiling). He led the way out of the bedroom, into the kitchen, down the hall, and into the front room. Leo barked a few times, a protest to keep Annie and Denny in the house, or maybe to take him with them, but Denny just shook his head. “You’re a handful, pup.” With that, he opened the door and stepped out, bringing Annie with him before locking the door again and stuffing his keys into that perfectly placed waterproof pocket attacked to his shorts.

Denny led the way down the stairs and waited for Annie at the bottom for a few seconds. He sighed, but not in a way that suggested much. He tried to think of something to ask Annie (How’s your day been so far? Meet anyone new? Think about me while I was at work?), but anything he could come up with either sounded really mediocre, like maybe he was trying to come up with something just because he was bored, or he already knew the answer. It didn’t seem really fair to treat Annie that way – or maybe he was just overreacting – so he decided to stop thinking about that. For the first block or so of the walk, he just kept a quiet walk and swung his hand with Annie’s back and forth. Not too far, but just enough to give the walk a light feeling that he was lacking because he couldn’t think of anything to say. Denny felt kind of bad that he had more to say to the dog than he did Annie, but obviously he wasn’t going to make it a verbal issue. A block down, he pulled her hand and brought Annie closer to his side, still holding her hand though because it just felt right. And this mood brought something to his mind to talk about, finally.

“You know,” he started. “You’re the first date I’ve had to a party since I was sixteen. Actually, you’re the first person I’ve dated period since I was sixteen.” The year he’d turned seventeen had been eventful, but unfortunately, desolate and lonely. It had happened because of girls, but none of them had been his date, let alone anything more. It had been seven years since he’d been with a girl in any way other than a platonic relationship, and the first time he’d gotten in deeper than just friends, he fell in love, lost his virginity, fought for, and got married all in a matter of months to the one girl that had set herself apart from everyone else (in both terms of being different from every girl Denny had ever known besides Annie, and in the manner that Annie really had separated herself from humanity in most ways). The point wasn’t that though; the point was that she was the first in a long time, the first that had ever gone farther than two or three dates and a few make out sessions. “And you’re the first person that has ever meant this much to me as you do.” Of course he would go there. Of course Denny would get that touchy-feely, but his justification was that he felt it made what he’d said about her being the first since he was sixteen and not the first ever totally invalid, null and void. At least, Denny hoped that was the effect his latter words had. For a few minutes after that, Denny just listened to whatever Annie had to say and kept walking.

The walk to the beach wasn’t too long, and thanks to Denny’s lack of things to say, it was mostly quiet. But he enjoyed it. He sort of fell in between feeling like he had to keep the conversation going and feeling comfortable with silence. As long as he had Annie beside him, her hand in his, he could live with silence between them. For the moment, anyway. Sometimes there were just instances where he had to speak. He had something to say and if he didn’t say it, the thought would go unnoticed, ignored, and eventually it might just eat away at Denny until he couldn’t stand it anymore. By then, the thought would be irrelevant, possibly insulting; he just figured saying what was on his mind when it was there instead of hiding, in most cases, worked best for him. There were also things that he felt keeping to himself was a necessity. Some things he just couldn’t say to Annie, not because he didn’t want to, but because he was almost scared of her reaction to what he was thinking. However, he didn’t really have to worry about that because that rarely happened. Annie was his best friend; he could tell her everything and anything, and the things that he couldn’t tell her ended up somewhere else, maybe in that recycling bin storage facility in the back of his mind.

Well, the made it to the beach. There were a few people around already; Abby and Boss, some people that Denny only recognized by their face from the club they used to play in. There were a few people that he could have sworn he knew from high school there already, but either they didn’t notice that he’d arrived or they were just people that looked like people Denny knew seven years ago. Maybe they were really the people Denny thought they were, and they saw him coming up, but the decided that ignoring him would be the safest bet for them. Maybe they felt bad for Annie the instant they saw the two of them coming up, holding hands. Maybe they suspected Denny of being a serial killer, planning and plotting to set up a ransom for Annie’s life. Maybe they thought she was pregnant and he was just the weirdo that had picked and knocked her up. Actually, it didn’t matter what they thought. Denny didn’t care; he reminded himself that he was there with Annie because Abby had invited them. They’d been almost complete holed up in their apartment since returning from New York, except for Denny working; they could use this little break from the walls that confined them on that top floor of the complex. They weren’t here to entertain jerks from high school or people that were disappointed in their leaving the label; they were home for a reason, and Denny knew he and Annie were going to make the most out of each other, not anyone else.

The smell of hotdogs and hamburgers suddenly overtook Denny’s thoughts. It only did so for a few seconds, but it was enough to make Denny realize he was hungry, once again. Not starving, but hungry enough to want to eat. For now, he ignored it. Denny greeted Abby and Boss the way he normally did, then let Abby and Annie talk because he knew the two of them were closer than Annie was close with most people. Boss was probably only here for Abby, but Denny didn’t really mind. It was nice knowing there was another guy in his “close circle” even if Boss wasn’t exactly what he’d consider his absolute bro or whatever. Boss was just a guy that liked some of the same things Denny liked, and the best part was that he didn’t judge Denny the way guys from around Cape Cod did these days. Or at least he didn’t judge Denny that way in the manner that Denny thought the other guys from around here still treated him. It had been a long time since anyone outside of his family had brought the accident up, except for that one douche bag guy outside of the jewelry store, but Denny hardly recollected that run-in also. He just didn’t care about people that didn’t know what they were talking about, or rather he didn’t care about people that hadn’t been there when it had happened. He’d stopped caring about people bringing it up when they hadn’t been there years ago; it was running into his former classmates and hearing what they had to say about the whole ordeal that scared Denny, honestly.

Back to the beach though, Denny found where the hotdog scent was coming from. He picked two up and brought one back to Annie, who was now sitting on the sand, watching the water as the sun descended down behind the horizon. Denny looked out at the sun for a moment, then turned his attention back to Annie and walked around to her side, sitting down and handing her the hotdog that he didn’t really expect her to eat. He really should be more worried than he was letting on, but he’d tried to stop her from starving herself before. Maybe she was doing it for his attention now, but whatever her motives……it was Denny that needed more motivation to stop it. It wasn’t that he didn’t care, it was that he had other things on his plate, though he did admit that this issue should have been higher up than most others. He should be worried that Annie was going to starve herself to death, or that she was going to spend way too much time in the bathroom, throwing everything she’d ingested into the sewage system beneath the apartment complex. It was gross to think of things that way, but maybe that was what Denny needed. He needed to be pushed; he needed something to pull his attention to the issue so he could spend time trying to talk Annie out of it again. But hadn’t he already done that before? Hadn’t he tried to tell her that losing her was the only thing he was really scared of? Other things he just hid behind; this issue of losing Annie forever was truly the only thing that made his body shake, his mind want to shut off but filled itself with morbid, depressing thoughts.

Bottom line, Denny couldn’t let Annie be self destructive. He had to find a way to push himself without Annie going to extremes; he needed to decide that this issue was more important than a baby that didn’t exist. In order for there to be a baby in existence, Annie had to stay alive and well; it was her physical health that had prevented the first child. He couldn’t think about that though – too painful. All of these thoughts tore through the light, easy feeling that he’d lived in since returning from the land of music and record labels. Now he was home, but he wasn’t content? Was that even fair? Denny didn’t know; he just knew he had to stop worrying about Annie’s eating issue for the moment; they were at the beach, and a public place was not the right location and this was not the right time to bring it up. He couldn’t even ask her to eat the damn hotdog because he was afraid he’d embarrass her, prove those assholes from high school right when they said he couldn’t ever completely be with a woman because of the accident. All of the sudden, his confidence was shot, and in that moment he felt he had to rebuild it up. Denny took a bite of the food, looked out at the sun, and let the sky calm him down. His thoughts cleared; the morbid feeling deserted his mind; he instantly felt a weight lift off of his shoulders as his head went completely blank. He could worry about Annie at home, where people wouldn’t stare at the spectacle that bringing the whole thing up would case. He couldn’t handle that right now, not when all he wanted was to continue to be happy, be easy, be at home and comfortable.

About halfway through the hotdog, Denny looked at it, then chucked it at the water. The fish would enjoy it more than he suddenly did, he knew. Denny wiped his forehead though he no longer held many thoughts within his mind, and sighed. He didn’t feel all that great all of the sudden; he needed to be alone with Annie, just for a little while because people around them weren’t helping him right now. Even Abby and Boss, people that he was familiar with, they weren’t helping his case. Denny felt a bit too mental; he needed a break. Maybe coming out here wasn’t the best idea. He’d thought it might have been, back at the apartment, back when it had just been him and Annie, the cat and the dog. But now….. Now it didn’t feel so right. He needed to dispel all the extra people around him, even the ones that he hadn’t noticed thus far. Denny looked around, watched the water, then the people beyond he and Annie, noticed then that there was music playing from a small boom box someone had brought along. He didn’t care; the festivities didn’t mean a thing to him. He just wanted to relax. He wanted his mind to really clear, to be free of worry. The sky would do that, he was positive, but he didn’t necessarily feel like shifting. He just had to lay down, and looking around at the growing party granted him access into seeing a rather nicely sized hammock across the pit that would be a fire once the sun completely set.

“Wanna go lay down? The water’s making me a little nauseous,” he said. The latter was a bit of a lie, but if it got Denny what he thought he needed, a little white lie wouldn’t hurt anyone. It wasn’t like he was keeping secrets – although he kind of was. Denny didn’t really think of it that way though. He just needed to get up, go lay down, clear his mind of everything except for Annie, and let himself rest for a little while. Maybe he was actually taking on more stress than usual, but whatever the case, he just stood up, took Annie’s hand, pulled her with him and slowly started across the sand. He walked slowly to make it seem like nothing was wrong, though it only occurred to him then that he’d thrown the hotdog into the water – that might be a bit of an alarm to Annie, but he wouldn’t be sure unless she said anything. Until then, he wouldn’t think about it – he wanted to stop thinking about anything. He just gently tugged Annie along, pushing all thoughts out of his mind except for that of Annie, of making her think that there wasn’t anything wrong, that the hotdog was probably just not cooked the right way and Denny just felt a little sick, but that nothing was really wrong.

They just walked over to the hammock. Denny let Annie get on first, then walked around and got on carefully as to not knock her off. Once they were both sure it wasn’t going to tip beneath them, Annie rested against Denny. They seemed to simultaneously sigh, and Denny looked up at the sky. He saw the last few clouds of the day and finally smiled again. A sudden heat took over one side of his body and he realized Abby had started the fire (with some help, of course). The sun slowly set, and after a few minutes of silence, Denny realized Annie was nearly asleep. Apparently, she was more tired than he’d expected, but she was too beautiful to wake up. His arm around her back pushed her a bit closer to him, just so that they would continue to stay comfortable. Her hand on his chest, and the other one beneath him calmed him down a bit, made everything positive easier to think of once again. The sky was calm and the water wasn’t affecting him anymore. The stars poked out through the first clouds of nighttime, inviting and beautiful, unlike the night sky in New York. Denny felt wanted right where he was, and he felt more than welcome on that hammock. He started to think about he and Annie; they should try to have a child again. This time it shouldn’t just happen and then be taken from them; carpe diem. They needed to take the chance, and really try. Denny should save up some money he had left over at the end of every pay check after bills, food, a bit extra whatever for him and Annie. He should try to save up for a bigger house, a real house, not an apartment.

He could just see it. Two stories, a large porch in the suburbs, plenty of space around the house to run and fly around, plenty of trees to perch in and rest against. He could picture a hammock similar to this one in the back yard, as well as a pool and Jacuzzi set. He could imagine Leo running around in the back yard in circles, jumping into the pool, getting out, and jumping in again. Denny could see a swing set, possibly even a tire swing. It all sounded great, but it sounded domesticated and almost too familial. Was that necessarily a bad thing? He didn’t want to be his parents, that was for sure, but was it such a bad thing that he wanted to live in a house with children and Annie – Annie above everything else, of course. But then he thought about the house again. He could envision those two little people he’d seen in the dream he’d had a while back. They would run around the back yard with Leo, who would get bigger, older, wiser, but still retain his smile that he always wore. In contrast to Beast, he’d obviously love the children. He’d always be loyal to Annie above everyone else, always helping around the house while Denny went out to work, always there to remind Annie that all of this was hers. Denny could imagine the master bedroom – just as sporadically messy as it was now, only with more space and a bigger shower, still adjoined to the bedroom. He was starting to fall in love with this suburban idea of his family with Annie when all thoughts of his were cut short.

“Denny, god damn it!

[/b]” Denny recognized that voice all too well. He looked away from the sky and lifted his head a bit, staring right into the eyes of his sister. He hadn’t spoken to her since Thanksgiving; what was she doing here now? Did she even know any of the people here besides Denny? He hadn’t invited her – so who had? “I’ve been calling you for like ten minutes.[/i]” Denny stayed silent. He didn’t really want to talk to his sister. He wanted to continue to lay with Annie, stay there and let her sleep against him until he fell asleep too. Maybe Abby would wake them up and send them home, or maybe they’d just stay on the hammock and sleep until the sun came up the next morning. Either way, both plans didn’t include the younger Hurley sibling. “We need to talk.[/i]” With that, his sister turned and walked around the wall of trees that led to the beach from the public parking lot. She expected Denny to follow her? Well….. Well she was his sister, and what she’d done wasn’t half as bad as what their father had done, right? But with her attitude on Thanksgiving, did she really deserve his attention? She was his family before Annie was, but she hadn’t paid him back for the favor he’d done her by taking the blame for the accident. Did she really deserve his time? Maybe his sister didn’t, but Denny knew his mom would be the first to hear about it if he didn’t oblige by his sister’s demands, and he knew he’d be the first to hear his mother’s disappointment, which was one of the last things he ever wanted. Besides Annie, his mother was the one person he really wanted to be proud of him.

So for his mother’s sake, Denny swallowed his pride, sighed, and gently got out from Annie’s hold. Instantly he missed her arms around her, and he stopped and looked back at her sleeping alone on the hammock. He tried to stay positive and thanked whatever higher power there was listening that he hadn’t woken her up. Denny leaned in, kissed Annie, whispered a small, “I love you,” then pushed some hair out of her face, turned, and walked in the direction his sister had taken. When he found her, she was standing with one foot tapping, her arms crossed, as if she’d been waiting an hour for his arrival instead of a few long seconds. Denny thought to himself that she’d make a great editor in chief of some high end magazine one day, but for now she had to realize that she was still his little sister, that he was the big brother, and that she owed him way too much to be treating him like this. Whatever; he was more worried about what she had to say than the way she was treating him. He could forget about that, but the words……. Those were what stuck to his mind. But his sister just stood there for a few seconds, sized him up, sighed, and relaxed, at least physically. “She’s here, you know.” That was it? Some cryptic message? What the hell was she talking about? Denny gave her a questioning look, stepped a bit closer, and looked behind him, just to see if anyone else was watching.

His sister also took a step closer, probably to be able to speak without screaming. “Denny, she’s here. I brought her. Darla. She’s over there, sitting by that girl that hangs around your girlfriend-[/i]” Denny didn’t give her a chance to finish. “Wife.” His sister stopped mid-sentence, caught her breath in her throat, and just looked at Denny with wide eyes. “Excuse me?” Denny kept his features straight, held his ground, and plainly told her, “Annie’s my wife. We’re married.” With that, he turned his head back a bit, looked around the edge of the tree wall, saw that Annie was alright, still asleep, and turned back. He saw that his sister was giving him one of those ‘Yeah, right’ looks, as if she didn’t believe it, but he didn’t feel like fighting with her over the legality of his marriage. She hadn’t been around to witness it, and he hadn’t cared to let her see it. She sighed, rolled her eyes, and went on with, “Whatever. Darla’s here. I think you owe her an apology-” Once again, he didn’t let her finish.

“Excuse me?” he asked this time, only with a different attitude behind his word. He was quickly becoming heated; he wished he would have stayed with Annie on the hammock. At this point, he might as well end up screaming at the top of his lungs, but he guessed for the time being just being angry would do. “I have apologizing to do? Seems like an awfully judgmental thing to say for someone that let her older brother go to jail instead of her own sorry ass!” His sister stood really still for a minute, then gathered herself and put on a face that probably matched Denny’s. She said in a low, obviously aggravated tone, “I didn’t ask for your help, Denver. You pulled me out of the car, you took the blame, you went to jail.” Denny chuckled maliciously, shook his head, and turned to walk back towards Annie. But then he stopped, turned back around, and pointed right at his sister. “You know, if I’d been you, and you’d taken my place in that car and gone to jail for me, I would have been really sorry, really grateful, thankful even that my older brother cared enough about my well being to go to jail for me. I wouldn’t be standing here telling him that he needed to apologize to the girl that he’d run over, if you asked anyone outside of the family!”

“All you had to fucking do was go talk to Darla-[/i]”

Denny chuckled again in the same manner. “No, you wanted me to go say sorry for something I didn’t do! Would you like everyone to know that you did it? You want everyone to look at you like you’re a murderer? You want everyone to treat you like you’re going to kill their little sister, their wife, their girlfriend? You want every person you’ve ever known to turn their backs on you? Because I’m not apologizing for something I didn’t do, even if I’d been arrested for it once already!” The both of them just glared at each other for a minute. Denny took that as a sign that he was right, that she finally got the message. He leaned back again, looked beyond the trees, found Annie still asleep, unbothered by anyone else or even the wind, just blowing softly back and forth on the hammock. His sister caught his attention again with her comeback: “You know what, Denny? I would have been just fine in jail! I wouldn’t have let my life spin out of control. I wouldn’t have had mom pay for my apartment because I was so mentally unstable that my life spun into a horrible depression. I would have been fine. [/i]” Denny didn’t think she was getting it anymore. He rolled his eyes, shook his head disappointingly, let his mind cool off, and looked back at Annie. He wanted so badly to be laying with her, having her arms around him again. He wanted to kiss her head, be quiet with her, fall asleep on the hammock just so that he could be against her again. But his sister had other plans. She obviously intended to keep Denny from being completely happy, otherwise she would have left him alone and let him do as he pleased.

“God you are so selfish!” Denny should just walk away. He should ignore her. He should go back to the hammock, get back in gently, lay down with Annie, and just pretend like this talk with his sister had never happened. Denny should pretend that he doesn’t even have a sister, that his mother was single and lonely, but that he was married and the only people he could blame were his father and himself for leaving. He could pretend that, because he only lived ten minutes from his mother’s house, if she were driving, she would come over whenever she pleased, spend time with the only family she had left. He should do all of that, but he wouldn’t. Because deep down, Denny was better than that. He was a good guy. He had good intentions and he listened, which meant that he couldn’t just pretend like his sister was nonexistent. He turned back towards her, rage written all over his face, but he felt differently than he usually did. The monster was either gone for good, or it was too lazy to come out. Maybe it only worked around Annie, but that wasn’t a good thing. Either way, Denny knew what he was capable of, and if the monster wasn’t involved, he could easily control himself around his sister.

“I’m selfish? Just because you’re warped sense of the world blocks you out from understanding why I won’t say something when I don’t mean it, that doesn’t make me the selfish one! I saved you from juvie, from ruining your life, and you never once thanked me for it. When I got home, you barely said three words to me! You treated me like I was a foster kid living in your dead brother’s room!” This time, his sister cut Denny off: “You acted like you were a foster kid living in my dead brother’s room, Denny! You think I changed after the accident, well you did too! You looked at me, praying that I would say something to you, and it scared the shit out of me! I was only fifteen, and suddenly I had the pressure of finding the right words to say to thank you and apologize for putting you in the most life changing situation either of us had ever been in![/b]” Denny shook his head and sighed. He looked at the ground, then looked back up at his sister, trying to figure out what had gone wrong with her. Nothing made sense anymore, and it jumbled his thoughts up in his head, made his mind feel light in a way that Denny didn’t like. He really wanted to walk away now. He wanted to be with Annie, away from the sister that took everything for granted and the possibility, the actuality that Darla was sitting around the fire, just a few yards away from where he was standing now.

“I’m your brother. A simple ‘Sorry, and thanks by the way’ would have been perfect. And I’m the selfish one.” Denny then turned, started in the opposite direction. He only made it a few feet before he tripped over a rock. He caught himself easily though, a plus of having lighter bones than the average human. He stood up straight, headed around the trees, and started back towards the hammock. There was Annie, straight ahead of him, still sleeping but turning over. He stopped, hoping she wouldn’t wake up and see him where he was. Annie turned over again, back to the way she had been when he’d left her. He saw her face scrunch up, another advantage of having bird senses. He saw her chest decline rapidly, signifying a large sigh, only to have it expand again. She dug her face into her arm, but scrunched her features up again. She knew he wasn’t there, but he didn’t think she was able to wake herself up over it. At least, not this once. Maybe she knew, somehow, that he would be back. Denny couldn’t really say; all he knew was that he was being called again. His sister was directly behind him, looking right at him as if he’d done something wrong. Of course. He was always the one doing something wrong. Just when Denny was ready to stop blaming himself for every little thing that ever went in a negative direction, someone had to come along and show him that he was really what was wrong, that it was his fault no matter the situation, no matter who really caused the damage. It was just easier to blame someone that had been to jail; Denny understood that.

What he didn’t understand was what she wanted now. Hadn’t she put him through enough already? She’d told him that Darla was here; she’d made him feel shitty for saving her; what else was it that she wanted out of him? “What makes her so special? Why does Annie mean more to you than I do?[/i]” Wow. She really didn’t get it. His sister was just so clueless, it was almost comical, if Denny wasn’t so heated over the subject. He gave her an incredulous look, unbelieving of what she was asking him. Denny ignored her, turned around, started back towards the hammock, but stopped at his sister’s next word. “She’s not that special, you know. She’s just a worthless whore that probably lured-[/i]” Denny turned around so fast and had his hand so close to his sister’s face that he almost slapped her. He reminded himself that public wasn’t the place to take his anger out, at least not physically, not in a place where everyone knew, or thought they knew, what he’d done. He stopped himself short, stepped back, and said, “Annie is not a whore. She’s not worthless either. She’s worth more to me than you ever will, and it’s because she believed in me.” His sister reeled, stood silent, backed a few steps away from Denny. Good. Maybe she finally got it. Maybe she understood now that Denny didn’t want any part of her. Then again, maybe she was as stupidly stubborn as the secretary from the label, the one Denny didn’t like to talk about.

But she didn’t say anything. She stayed quiet, looking at Denny like she didn’t believe what he said. So he went on. “Annie didn’t judge me. She didn’t treat me differently. Even when I told her everything, even that it was really you that ran over Darla, she still wanted me around. She became my friend when all I wanted to do was sit in the dark and die, Jess. Okay? Annie did something for me. She cared. She was the only person that made me feel like everything wrong in my life wasn’t my fault. And above all, she loves me. That’s why she’s special. That’s why I married her. Not to show off, not to say that I have sex all the time because Annie has a history-” he stopped there, backed up, then continued. “Annie’s the most special person to me in the world because she loves me, because I love her, and because I believe that I will always love her and that she’ll always love me. She doesn’t care that I went to juvie for you. She doesn’t care that you’re an ungrateful little hag, Jess. She cares about me, and that’s what matters.” His sister looked taken aback. She had nothing to say. She looked almost as if she were going to cry; Denny felt like he might burst out in tears too, but he wasn’t heartbroken. He’d just been worked up is all, but that seemed like it was enough to make him want to cry. For now, Denny just pushed the feeling back into the pit of his mind, looked his sister right in the eye, and searched for some emotion, some answer to his question of whether she finally got it, finally believed him or not.

When nothing happened, Denny stood up and shook his head. “I married Annie because of how much I love her and how much she loves me. I didn’t do it for anyone else and we didn’t invite anyone else except each other. You can call me selfish for that, but if you ever think of calling me selfish for refusing to apologize to Darla for what you did, then you can fucking forget it. If that’s how we’re going to live for the rest of our lives, you can pretend like I’m not even your brother. I’d rather not have to deal with that shit, Jess.” This should have happened a long time ago. This should have been something that had gone on in high school, right after he’d gotten out of jail. He should have screamed. He should have yelled and tortured Jess until she finally said thanks, or sorry, or maybe both. But then it would have just been to get him off her case; the apology, the gratefulness would have been fake. It wouldn’t have meant anything. Denny would know. He would have known and he would have tortured her more until he was sure it was real, genuine. But thinking about that made him realize how much of a different person he would be now if he’d forced those words out of Jess then. He would have been violent, secretive, and a horrible person. The way things had gone worked out better for Denny in the long run; in this moment, in this span of time, not so much. Denny just had to deal with it though – this was bound to happen eventually, and thank god it waited until he was who he was today.

“Now if you don’t mind, I’m going back to my wife. She knows how to apologize. She knows how to thank me and be grateful for what I can give her. And she loves me and supports me, and there’s only been one other person in my entire life that has ever done that. Mom, not you and not dad, but mom. Maybe you should pick up a few pointers from her one of these days.” With that, Denny turned around, left his sister with her jaw hanging down a bit, and walked back to the hammock. The sand was colder now than it had been before, but that didn’t make it any easier to walk through. He had to fight the entire way back, but it was worth the energy. He didn’t look back to see if his sister was still standing where he’d left her. Denny just gently climbed back into the hammock, thankful that he was light and moved easily and fast due to being part bird. He quickly wrapped his arms around Annie, pulling her close, and tangled their legs together, letting the hammock swing back and forth. He pulled her super close, almost with too much of a grip, but he would have yelled if he hadn’t. Denny let one tear fall from his eye, then ignored the rest of them, and let Annie go a bit, but just enough so that she was still smothered against him. It felt way too good to hold her like that, but Denny didn’t care. If it felt good, he was going to indulge. He needed it. He kissed her head and closed his eyes, nestling his face close to hers as the wind pushed them gently back and forth.

He could hear the boom box. He could hear the laughter of generally oblique people running through the sand. He could hear people running feet first into the water, screaming when they realized how cool it was compared to when the sun was shining right on it. He could distinctly hear Abby and Boss, talking loudly to each other because they were both probably drunk. Denny could hear and feel the fire, and the warmth and the crackling felt so nice that his eyes wouldn’t open again. Denny felt the open sky above them, felt it overpower everything that had happened in the last hour, take over his mind, body, soul, every living, breathing part of him. He let the sky hold him and Annie. He let it calm him down. He let it clear his mind. He felt his muscles relax. Everything felt good. Annie smelled like the sea, the forest, and whatever shampoo she used, and it smelled so good. She was soft and small and easy to hold, and it felt like he was laying on a cloud with her against him. His senses all heightened since his eyes were closed; he could smell remnants of hotdogs and hamburgers and the fire burning just yards from them; he could feel the wind give him goose bumps and the heat of the fire and Annie’s breathing against his own. He felt the patch that she’d shaved off, apparently to differentiate herself from Evan. His fingers grazed her tiny hairs there, enjoying the way they felt under his touch. He could hear that breathing that he felt against him; he could hear the wind pick up a bit, but not so much as to knock them out of the hammock. Denny could swear that he heard his sister running back into the parking lot, but he couldn’t be positive. All of his senses overtook him in the few minutes he was still awake, lying there with Annie in his arms. But then he was asleep. His mind was off, mostly. The world was gone, his worrying was over for the day.


EIGHT THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHT WORDS FUCK YES -- cora/annie yes -- outfit described -- lyrics to all time low bro -- THIS IS THE LONGEST FUCKING POST I'VE EVER MADE AND THE LONGEST AMOUNT OF WORDS I'VE EVER WRITTEN IN ONE DAY cora YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT I LOVE YOU RIGHT NOW OKAY[/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[ANNABELLE MARIE HURLEY]

There were different ways to care about someone. Well, to say that someone cared. There was the actual saying it, and then there was feeling that. There was the idea that you thought about them, in even the smallest way and then there was the physical action that you cared. Annie had never cared about someone, And then she suddenly cared about Denny. At first it was a light, superficial caring, but now she really, really cared. It wasn’t the kind of thing she would have ever imagined herself capable of. It was how she just thought about him in little things, and when he was upset or something she wished that she could just take away that irritation for him, and if she couldn’t carry it herself then she would to little things. To Annie, caring about someone was little things, and so she demonstrated it that way. It was little things like when they were laying down she’d trace her fingers down his when she went to hold his hand, or when he was stressed she liked to kiss his forehead and smooth his hair back. She wasn’t very good at caring for or about someone, but she tried in the little ways she knew how. Because she did care, a lot. She cared about him more than she thought she could care about anyone, and it was a weird feeling for her because she had never really cared for anyone before him. She didn’t even think she could care this much about anything. She hoped she was making that transition to wife smoothly because sometimes she felt like she was, and it made her feel good about herself. She felt like she was fit for marriage. Or this marriage, at least, and it gave her the confidence she needed when she wasn’t feeling very confident.

Having Denny home early for lunch was a pleasant surprise and Annie reminded herself to appreciate little things like having lunch together on a work day. Annie felt like she was grooming herself to be a wife by learning to appreciate things like that. Annie had taken things for granted and been selfish for a large majority of her life. But now she wasn’t. Now she was going to be grateful and appreciate every little thing that Denny could do for her because she loved him. It seemed like a wildly outlandish thing for her to do, and it sounded kind of crazy. But this whole thing was kind of crazy, if you asked Annie. All she really knew was that this was it for her, and she was going to make it last and she was going to make it worthwhile. Being home made her aware that she did need to put work in, at least in little things. But it didn’t even seem like work. She wanted to do those little things for Denny, like learn how to cook so she could make nice dinners, and she might have once thought it would be to pay him back for everything he had done for her, but that wasn’t quite it either. It was just because she loved him and she wanted to show that and she just wanted him to smile because smiling meant good things. Annie knew she made him tired because she was a difficult person to love, and she didn’t want to make him feel stressed. She just wanted him to smile.

Getting ready was a battle for Annie, but she hadn’t really expected any less. It was just hard sometimes and she didn’t even know where she stood with herself half the time. Her purging wasn’t really routine like it had been... but it came and went. The coming was normally when she didn’t feel good and was home alone or something, and the going was when Denny was there and he could kiss her and have his hands on her sides and she didn’t feel bad. That also kind of reinforced the coming though, because she felt good beneath him and it somehow convinced her to eat a little less to feel a bit better. It was a battle to get her to eat anyway, except for moments like today when she could appreciate eating lunch with him and feeling okay. Either way, though, Annie somehow found herself putting on a bikini. She didn’t even know why she had it. Abby had probably threatened her with death to get it, once upon a time. Either way, it was a really big step for her, even with the still getting skinny. At her smallest Annie didn’t even wear bathing suits. The only person who could really understand the immensity of Annie’s clothing choice was Denny, and he wouldn’t see it unless she took off these shorts and one of Denny’s v-necks because that’s all Annie really cared to wear.

She watched him with Leo, and smiled. Leo was a very good dog, and one of the best presents Annie could remember. She wasn’t as affectionate with him as Denny was, but they kind of had an unspoken bond. Annie was the lead alpha and Leo was omega (they didn’t count Denny because he was a bird). And he followed Annie around and he always made sure to lay down where he could see her. German shepards were like that, though; very pack, protective oriented. Annie kissed the top of his head lightly before grabbing Denny’s hand and following him out of the house. Down the block she didn’t mind the silence but she kind of wished she was a bit close when he spoke Annie just laughed shortly, lightly. ”I figured.” but she said it in a good natured way that the words didn’t suggest but her tone did. Annie immediately shut herself off when they got to the beach. Part of her wondered why they’d even come. It was a bad place for her to be, especially just...the way she was. She wished she wasn’t here but then Abby ran up and hugged her and Annie knew that coming had been the right thing to do. Sure it wasn’t her favorite thing, but it was the right thing, and she made herself calm down with that idea. She breathed.

Denny left to get hot dogs and Annie’s stomach sank. She crossed her fingers; she didn’t want him to get one for her. It just...wouldn't end well. She said something to satiate Abby and then she walked to the beach to look at the water. The last time she had been this close, really looked at the water, was when she told Denny to meet her after the weeks she’d spent alone. Other than that she never got close enough to actually watch the waves hit the shore. She closed her eyes and tried to starve the feelings of that day off. It hurt to think about it. She still felt guilty and horrible for that. She wished she could feel okay, but she knew she hurt Denny. And herself. She’d hurt herself, physically. She tried not to think about that, and most of the time nothing brought it up. Denny ignored the scars. But for some reason that was an avoidance in her mind, and Annie couldn’t handle it. Not acknowledging the burns was just as bad as focusing on them, for some reason. Whenever she got into this mindset, she just thought about Valentine’s day, when he’d kissed the ones on her collarbones and by her ears and between her knuckles. She probably liked that more than she would ever admit. But she didn’t talk about it because she wanted to keep it to herself; no one else would appreciate it the way Annie did.

Crossing her fingers obviously hadn’t been enough because he came back with a hot dog for her. Annie didn’t even entertain it with a look; she immediately put it on the ground next to her, in the sand. Someone would get it and if they didn’t the tide would come up and get it later tonight and then the fish could take care of that. She watched Denny next to her, and just spent a minute taking inventory over him. She looked at his arms, things she was really familiar with because they wrapped around her every night when they went to bed. They also held her back from a lot of fights, which was saying something because when Annie got mad she was kind of unstoppable. If he was a different person, he could really hurt her. Those bruises were practically a caress compared to what could happen. It made Annie think about how her life could have gone very different than this. She would never love anyone besides Denny, but you know, if that slipped up hadn’t happened, a few months later Annie’s frustration with feelings she didn’t have words for and the itchy feeling that came after staying in one place for to long would’ve pushed her to leave. And she would’ve left without a second look at that friendship, because those feelings she didn’t have names for had scared her shitless, and if he hadn’t said anything, the safer thing would have been to just leave. Leaving would’ve left her slipping into old habits or slipping in with the wrong people. Annie didn’t have a lot of self preservation outside of her secrets. Physical safety mean near nothing to her, even now. It was just better that she was here now.

“Wanna go lay down? The water’s making me a little nauseous,” His words made her break out of her thoughts. Laying down sounded like a good idea. Her head hurt a little and she just needed to be close to him. She didn’t notice he’d thrown the hot dog in the water. She figured his monstrous appetite - the polar opposite of her own - had just scarfed it down that much quicker. She took his hand and followed him because it made her relax and feel good. Just being around him made Annie feel better because that’s who she was. She was Denny’s. And you know, Annie was okay with that. She didn’t ever think she would be okay with calling herself someone’s, but Annie had also never thought she would meet someone like Denny. She had never imagined herself falling in love because love was a luxury that Annie couldn’t indulge in. Not just couldn’t. Didn’t want to. Didn’t have a reason. But then things changed when they were laying down in her bed, and his arms pulled her closer and Annie was surprised by how much she liked that. She definitely hadn’t realized that she would marry Denny, that she would fall asleep that way every night. She had never pictured it on that night. Laying her head against his chest while his breath ran into her hair... it had seemed stationary. Nice, but stationary. Innocent and momentary. She didn’t think that just a handful or two of months later she would be climbing into this hammock to lay the same way with him, as she had been doing every night since she had moved in with him. March, was it? She could barely remember. It seemed like years.

The magnitude of all those thoughts made Annie tired. The realization of what she hadn’t realized and the epiphany that this really was her’s, made her sluggish. As Denny got in, Annie wrapped her arms close around him and wriggled so that her head was nestled somewhere by his neck and her hand rested on his chest. She exhaled in a sigh because this felt good. She felt small against him, and it made Annie small in a spectrum of things. But to Denny, she wasn’t small, even if she was physically so (especially in comparison to him). But she was also more and it made her feel unbelievably good. Important, special. You know, she was his wife. He picked her out of everyone. Annie knew that despite the accident, he really could get any girl, even if he didn’t believe it. Because Annie could look at him and tell. He was incredibly good looking, which she could think because he was her’s and she liked to admit things like that to herself. That was just a hook though. If they heard him talk, they would hear not only the best voice ever, but some of the best things to ever come out of a mouth. Denny chewed on his words. And if they let him get close they would just feel this huge pull towards him. Maybe that was just Annie though. She always felt a need to be touching him and being around him. When she was, she could close her eyes and feel so completely alright. And if they let Denny get further, if they let him love them... well that was something Annie would never be able to put into words. It didn’t make her feel important to one person, or a lot of people. It made her feel like the most important person ever. It made her the only person ever, like it was just her and Denny was there and he was smiling, and before Annie knew it she was asleep against him.

It was the kind of sleep that was a half-sleep though, seeing as Annie had actually been keeping up pretty steadily with her sleep schedule since they’d come home. She thought she felt Denny’s lips against her’s, thought she heard his voice and his fingers brush against her forehead. But it was more like she was watching from underwater. Like a dream that she was watching from underwater. She curled closer to herself, unconsciously, immediately missing him there. It was her body’s reaction; it was like when they were sleeping in bed at home, and Denny had to get up to go to the bathroom, or close a window, or maybe get a late snake, and Annie would jut curl up like this. It was just a momentary thing because he came back. Annie had almost fully convinced herself that he would always come back and he wasn’t leaving. She nearly remembered it unconsciously now. She had to. Without that, Annie felt useless. It was one of the only things she had to put faith into. Not to mention he’d reassured her so many times... she just had to believe it, so she did.

After a few minutes of that, though, she got agitated. Denny wasn’t back, she could tell, in this half dreaming state. She made a soft sound and turned over. The hammock swayed awkwardly, which really wasn’t something Annie had been expecting. Clearly, that was not what she wanted, and, in her sleep, turned over again, shifting her features and trying to get comfortable. Comfortable just seemed so unattainable when she was laying there, alone in this hammock. She made another soft sound, but this time it was an irritated one. She was going to be very awake when she woke up, but for now a nice nap was good. Although of course it would have been nicer. When she did wake up again, though, Denny was there, and Annie brightened a bit. He was sleeping though, and that was boring. She was very awake now, and around the fire, a few feet away, she could hear peals of drunken laughter. ”Denny,” she said softly before gently pressing on his chest with her hand. ”Denny.” She said louder, and very close to his face. She kissed him as her final touch on the plan to make him wake up. It worked, and he looked confused. ”C’mon, let’s get drunk.” she said it very matter-of-factly.

Soon they were sitting with everyone else on benches, and Abby was on one side of Annie, loudly speaking and motioning to someone across the fire. Annie didn’t notice though because she was facing Denny. He’d had more beers than her, and he was much, much drunker. From what you learned in health class you’d assume that they’d be about the same level of drunk, with Annie’s smaller body mass and stuff, but Denny was such a light weight, and Annie knew that. The only thing about her that changed with alcohol was she was a bit clumsier and she couldn’t pronounce her s’s quite right. Denny was different. He was much more open, and... drunk, basically. Things he didn’t normally do, he did, like right now his hand was resting high up on her thigh, his fingertips almost brushing the shorts she had on. So unlike him, but Annie liked it, which was obvious by the way she was giggling against his neck. Her skin felt hot and there were probably people looking at them, but Annie couldn’t care. She thought she’d seen his sister earlier, when the drinking had first started, but she was too drunk now to remember.

The only thing she did notice was how one girl kept looking over at the two of them, in a way that Annie couldn’t exactly put her finger on. She was kind of a plain looking girl, but her eyes had this emotion that made Annie feel bristly. It bothered her, and made her skin feel itchy. She didn’t know what that girl wanted, so her first instinct was to get protective and possessive; that would just always be Annie’s first instinct because she would never learn. Of course it was kind of a bad thing, and by now she knew better, but it never really hurt to be a bit defensive. In Annie’s mind she always had to be, because she never really saw herself as a catch. She picked her head up from against his skin and caught his lips in her’s, scooting closer so she was practically in his lap and his hand was pushed up to her hip. Kissing Denny felt good, and she could taste the beer on his lips, and it was an unfamiliar taste for when she kissed him. She was used to having that on lips she didn’t know, not Denny’s. It was like someone who always wore boots bought them from a different brand for once. But Annie really liked this, and it felt better to her than anything else. Except normal kisses, but Annie was drunk and sober was a word she didn’t know, in that moment. Annie liked being drunk with Denny because she could do stuff like this. Being drunk with Abby constituted to weird guys hitting on her and the two of them falling down in the street. Being drunk with Denny meant making out in a pretty public manner and hearing him compliment her a lot because he could not keep his mouth shut with that much liquor in his system.

She got up to get more beer, and when she did she passed the girl who had been looking at her. ”Hey,” she said, and Annie stopped and looked down at her. ”You know he hit me with a car, right? He’s kind of dangerous.” Annie stood still for a second and looked at the plain-girl like this was completely new information. But then she smiled really sweetly. ”I’m sure you deserved it.” And she smiled a bit bigger, and it kind of made the insult worse because that smile was one hundred percent genuine. Annie grabbed the beers from the cooler behind the girl and went back to Denny to continue drinking and kissing him. His fingers brushed at the hem of her shirt but Annie shooed them away. Normally she wouldn’t care, she would pretty much welcome his hands up her shirt but if he did that now he would ruin the bikini surprise because Annie’s drunk mind was quickly formulating a plan that involved her getting into the water. Her head was a bit too mixed up to think about everyone else seeing her in the bathing suit, because she was just thinking about Denny seeing her. That was the way it should be though, which made it perfectly okay. She kept kissing him and his arm wrapped behind her back, pulling her flush against him, as she smiled against his lips.

She didn’t know how long she was kissing him, but soon she heard Abby, ”Get a room!” Abby was already sitting without a shirt on, just in a bathing suit, but she hadn’t been in the water yet. Annie quickly pulled her shirt off, which was a bit awkward with Denny holding her against him, and then she twisted out of her arms, and grabbed Abby by the stomach. The tide had started coming in so the ocean wasn’t as far as it had been an hour ago. Annie was laughing loud and drunk when she and Abby hit the water, both of them twisting and laughing. ”Fuck!” she screamed because that water was much colder than she had been expecting. But that was fun, and her head felt light and far away. Her hair was heavier when it was wet because it was all on one side, and it made her feel odd and uneven. She ran her hand through her hair and looked back at Abby, still laughing. More people were swarming around the beach and somewhere Annie heard and exclamation. ”Look at her arms!” Annie immediately froze and saw the girl that apparently had been in the accident walk by her. ”And her chest, too!” she and a few friends laughed loudly, dunkenly, as Annie’s hands flew up to her collarbones. She dug her fingers into the bones there. Suddenly, Annie could feel every burn sting. And they were all visible; her collarbones, her arms, her knuckles, her hips, her ankles. Annie was never wearing a bikini again.

She just stood there, dumbfounded as the girl walked closer. Annie hated feeling vulnerable. Everyone knew that. Abby was standing behind Annie, probably trying to back her up the best she could because that’s what the two of them did. But this didn’t have anything to do with Abby. Annie’s eyes stung and she felt too drunk to think about how watering eyes was a bad thing. It was a weakness, more vulnerability. She was too close for Annie to feel comfortable. ”No wonder he married you,” The way she said you made Annie’s stomach drop and she couldn’t pick it back up because her head was too light, too heavy, too much spinning going on with her brain. ”There’s something wrong with you.”

[/i] she laughed again, in a “holier-than-thou” kind of way, and Annie snapped. She pulled back her arm and rammed her fist into the girl’s jaw. She didn’t need to hear that. Those words were always too close but she made them crash in on Annie, and she hadn’t been prepared. She had no way to fight them, just like the girl on the ground had had no way to fight Annie’s fist.

And then Annie was walking away because she couldn’t stand to be there. Away from the fire and the adrenaline of the water, it was so much colder, especially when she was wet and had left her shirt with Denny. She didn’t know where he was, and she didn’t even know which way she was going to go home. She just had to get off this beach and she pushed through the sand and the parking lot, and the road was dark, but home was only a few blocks away.... right? At least, if she was going in the right direction. All she could focus on was that her teeth were chattering and she was digging her nails into her collarbones again. When she pulled them away, there would be some not-so-shallow, ruby half-moons in her skin, but Annie couldn’t care. Annie hated those scars. She had tricked herself, persuaded herself into thinking that they were okay. But they weren’t at all, and she hated them. She wished she could peel each one off her body, but there were so many. She just wished she could undo them. There were a lot of things Annie wanted to undo but she couldn’t because she was just too wrong.



4k or s/t -- blah[/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[ABIGAIL CASSIDY PIERCE]

abby was pretty excited to be home in cape cod. this is what she called her true home, with boss, annie, and denny. she was kind of throwing a party. she was going to tell everyone she knew and and then some to come and bring as much booze and food as they could bring. she was going to bring two tables and a cooler and hope everyone else brought everything esle for her. she looked around the apartment she shared with boss. she was so excited to drink with friends, because that was the only thing better than sex and drinking alone. she put on her bakini and layered it with a tank top and shorts. she picked up her cat, lola, who was at her feet. she spun her around the room with her and hummed a little tune. she smiled and danced around the room with her small kitten while the afternoon sun shone in through the window. she felt eyes on her as she danced. she turned around and saw boss watching her. she smiled and kept dancing and huming whatever tune she had in her head. she made her way over to him and grabed his hands. lola was in her left hand and boss in her right. she made them dance with her as she humed and giggled. boss moved awkwardly and abby danced around him gracfully. lola looked like she wanted to be put down or she was going to be sick. abby placed her on the bed while she took boss's other hand and tried to make him dance better. "you really are an awful dancer," abby laughted more and humed. she brok off and told boss to e ready in five minutes. abby finish putting on her make up and got everything together by the door and made boss help her pile it into the car.

once everything was set up at the beach, abby took out a beer and started a fire. it was only around six, so abby still had some time alone with boss before people started showing up. they talked and drank what beer she had brought. they kissed and finally people started to show up. her and boss continued to do whatever they wanted by the fire and abby kept checking to make sure that there was still liquire she could drink. abby was pretty close to drunk when annie and denny showed up. abby smiled and waved before turning back to boss. she leaned in and kissed him more. she didn't think she would ever get sick of him. there was always something new about how he felt and how beautiful he was. she thought she loved him, but she wasn't ready to say it yet. those were words that had to be saved for when she was ready and prepared to say it. those were too powerful words for her to say now. abby pulled away from boss and started talking to him again. it was dark outside but there was still some heat lingering from the day. she pulled her tank top off over her head and tossed it behind her. she was pretty confident about her body. almost the opposite of annie. she knew she had burnes all over herslef and threw up most of the time after she ate. abby was usually pretty protective about annie when it came to that. she really wanted her friend to be better. she didn't want her to second guess everything and did and thought. annie was a special person and denny was taking care of her the best he could. she just wished that annie wouldn't second guess his thoughts. abby tired her best to stay outof her head though. she tired to stay out of everyones head, but that was a hard thing to do when she couldn't control her mind reading.

mid conversation with boss, abby was tackled by a mostly naked annie. they laughted and screamed as they jumped into the cold water. abby felt so alive with annie. she tackled her into the deeper parts as the waves crashed around them. they yelled at each other and jumped all over each other. abby heard all the other girls thoughts. they were mad about all of the attention guys and even most of the girls. it wasn't their fault though. they just happen to be pretty and outspoken. abby heard one of the girls before she even said something about annie. abby whiped her head around to look at annie. she had not way of stoping what she heard. there was no way to make annie understand why she had said it. she watched as annie got out of the water and abby was soon to follow. she grabed her shirt that was still over by boss and got off as much water as she could. she keep an eye on annie and before she could even hold her back, annie hit the girl. square in the jaw and abby laughed. she was happy to see annie get most of her anger out now on the girl, rather than later withh whoever was victim to her at the time. then she watched her start to walk away. abby ran to her car to grab the two towels she brought with her before running after annie. she grabed her arm and shoved the towl at her. she started pulling her toward denny again. "annie, you are not going to leave like this. this is our party now get your ass back by the drinks and the guy that loves you!" abby said as she finally laied eyes on denny. "hey come get your girlfriend before she hits me!" abby yelled at him. she moved and puhed annie toward him before going back to sit with boss. before she made it back over to the fire she made, she went to ee the girl that said those awful things about annie. she saw her with ice on her face and tears in her eyes. abby walked up to her and thought about hitting her again. but she wasn't going to do that, even if she deserved it. "hey,bitch. say something like that again, and annie won't be the only one to hit you. back the fuck off of her and don't even think of going near her OR denny. you got that?" abby didn't even wait for a response from the girl. she didn't need one. annie had shaken her up enough, plus abby could see she had no intenion of getting another black eye, so for now, annie was safe from her.

abby walked back to where she had left boss. he had gotten them both more beer of some sort and handed abby her shirt. she wa happy to be with boss. she knew he cared about her and that was all she needed right then. she wraped her arms around him and cuddled with him and watched the fire burn though the logs. .

there are 1182 words, she is wearing this and i am so sad with how short this is.

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

Denny should have just taken Annie home after the confrontation with his sister. He didn’t care; they could have gotten wasted there instead, not around other people that were too judgmental to really understand anything about either of them. But he should have just woken her up and carried Annie the whole way home. It would have been safer. Denny would have enjoyed the second half of the night more than he actually had gotten to. Confrontation wouldn’t have happened. If they’d gone back and popped whatever bottles were left in the apartment, they would have felt the same way, at least to the extent of the drunkenness and the bubbly feeling that filled his lungs and head. It felt like he got a fifteen minute nap in, maybe, and then Annie was waking him up and dragging him away from the comfortable hammock. Honestly though, he didn’t care. The nap had installed a new hope in Denny for the night; at that point, he’d hoped it would turn out alright. He just followed Annie, not really caring about the booze to be honest, but knowing he wouldn’t be able to let Annie drink alone. It wasn’t as bad as trying to get her to eat, because Annie actually liked alcohol, but Denny just felt the principal was the same.

But no. They hadn’t gone home. Annie had called him awake and dragged him to the fire. That part was fine. That part was fun. She gave him booze and he drank it, just to enjoy what was left of the night. That part was fine and fun too. In fact, the more he had to drink, the more fun things got. The more she gave him to drink, the fuzzier his vision got, the heavier his head got, but the bubblier his body got. It felt nice, almost tickled. Denny kept smiling, would sing off tune, off beat to all the songs that would play on the boom box. He’d hum if Annie was saying something, would stop to talk to her (the more drinks he was given, the more slurred his words became). A couple of beers in and Denny was mostly incomprehensible. He thought maybe spacing them out might help, but really thoughts weren’t made verbal or physical considering his mind was in this drunken state that he wasn’t all that used to. Was it necessarily a good idea to be drunk around Darla? Did he care? No, not at the moment. Not for the next few moments, or the next few after that. Who was Darla, anyway? Denny couldn’t remember, that was for sure, and it was affirmative that it was because of the booze he just kept taking in.

Denny was so much more of a lightweight than he was giving himself credit for. And that wasn’t good, because if he continued to drink at that rate, he’d end up in the hospital with the doctor’s leaning over him, trying to pump his stomach. Maybe just one more. Maybe. He’d lost his inhibitions too many beers ago to count on one hand. One turned into two, two into three, and then three into the fourth drink instinct, but that was just something people sang about, right? Denny didn’t know. Didn’t care, either. Annie was entertaining him, along with the boom box, so the rest of the world (with the exception of the hot, bright fire in front of them) was a black blur that Denny couldn’t comprehend when the rest of his body felt this good, when his head felt so heavy but in a manner that he could handle. At least, a manner that he could handle where he wasn’t falling all over the place, throwing up and just being a general hot mess. No, Denny was a bit classier than that. He was just loud and couldn’t manage to sift through his thoughts, so they all spilled out of his mouth because there was no inhibition, no intuition to stop them. His fingers, without that same inhibitions and intuition, would have gone farther if he hadn’t been content with where they were. Just because he was drunk didn’t make him wasted, because if that were the case, he would have taken his clothes off without caring about anyone else being around, and that wouldn’t have gone over too well with Annie, even if she was as drunk as he was.

He liked having Annie against him. That was just a universal truth; Denny didn’t care what time of day it was. He was happy as long as he had Annie touching him. She could just be standing next to him, her arm against his, and he would be content. It was just that simple with Denny. He really liked having her touch him like this, giggling up against his skin with other people around to see. Everyone else got to be jealous of what they were showcasing for once, instead of having Annie scrunch herself into a ball against Denny, making it seem like she was afraid of the world. But why should she be? She had him to protect her, not that he could really do much except talk when he was drunk. Even if he wasn’t stumbling all over himself and just falling off of the bench, his hands were a bit shaky, just because he’d lost control of his bodily functions. Denny couldn’t have cared less though. The night felt good and Annie was there, so why should anything bother him? Instead of worrying, he watched Annie stand up and walk around the fire towards the cooler. The people she passed seemed to come out of the dark gloom around them, the one that made it so hard for Denny to see much else except for the fire and Annie. His mind was just hazy, and he was glad he didn’t have a car to drive because he was way beyond the legal blood alcohol level.

The last person to come out of the darkness was a face Denny was hoping he wouldn’t have to confront tonight, especially after his confrontation with his sister. Either Jess or Darla had other plans though, because Darla leaned towards Annie and said something to her that Denny couldn’t make out. They were too far. Or maybe it was just his senses being diluted from the booze – he could start to sense a slight ringing in his hearing, but Denny didn’t give much thought to it. Annie came back quickly and nearly scared him; he’d been lost in a thought that he suddenly couldn’t remember. But was that because he was drunk, or because Annie’s presence had knocked the thought out of his short attention span? Possibly both, but at the moment more practically the former. Either way, it wasn’t long before Annie was kissing him. He pulled her close because that was practically his job, and she just seemed to like it. It didn’t occur to him anymore that other people even existed, forgetting that they were on a beach full of them. Denny might have gone all out if Annie had let him, if Abby hadn’t screamed out and brought him back into a more sober reality, even if he really wasn’t all that much more sober than he had been just moments ago. It was more of just bringing Denny out of whatever world he’d been in, which didn’t really put a damper on his mood for too long because before he could even begin to start thinking again, Annie had her shirt off and was running for the water with Abby.

Now that was a sight to see. Denny was almost irritated that he had to share it with everyone else, but in an instant everyone except for Annie was gone again. Besides, he’d gotten to see so much more than just that; Annie was still wearing something and Denny had gotten the privilege of seeing more than that. He’d witnessed everything first hand, but this was still something to see. Annie never wore this little in public, especially not with this many people around. Denny liked to think it was because she only wanted him to see everything, but that was just out of pride. He knew better than what he wanted to believe. Denny knew it was because of her insecurities. He knew it was because of the burns, the fact that Annie was never totally satisfied with her weight. Denny could list the reasons off hand like he was writing a How To book. Was that bad? Intimidating? Either way, he didn’t necessarily care anymore. Not about Annie being in just her bikini, but about anyone else. They could all see, but Denny was the only one that could touch. He was the only one worthy of the full effect, according to Annie’s standards. Knowing that was enough to push jealousy out of his mind, considering this contraction the booze had put on his brain and thoughts only allowed for so much logical thought at once.

But then his thoughts were cut short. A voice that was all too familiar, one that sent shivers down Denny’s spine spoke up, poked holes into the perfect picture he’d started to create through the haze and the mindless drunken ramblings he’d let go on in his head. Suddenly the night was ripped in two, and about then is when he’d started to wish he’d just taken Annie home to go to sleep in their warm, comfy bed with Leo not too far off from them. Cuddling would have been nice, even if they had been drunk. Just laying in bed with Annie would have sufficed, but he hadn’t picked her up and carried her home. Annie hadn’t suggested that they go home; she wanted to drink with Abby, which he could understand, and Denny. But all of that led to this. All of that came down to Darla yelling, making the both of them sound more like freaks than Denny had felt in a long, long time. He wanted to get up and run after Annie, hold her back, dry her off, take her home, but his legs were too wobbly to do anything. His head felt too light too quickly and if he hadn’t closed his eyes and held his breath, Denny would have fallen over and passed out. That would have made everything worse, he knew, so instead of pushing his limits too far, Denny stared at the chaos that went around him, just so he would be able to take care of Annie later, even in this drunken state he was in.

Denny watched Annie make the same mistake he had made – or the mistake he’d seemed to have made. She hit Darla. Although, with her first, Denny didn’t feel like her consequences would be nearly as dire as his had become. He’d gone to jail, he’d let his life turn into ruins over the accident that hadn’t been his fault; Annie just punched her in the face. Annie would walk away crying, her fist probably pounding, but it was probably Darla that would walk away without a sense of pride anymore. Two Hurleys pretty much beating the crap out of her in one lifetime? A span of six years? That was a hard blow to take, no pun intended. Denny didn’t care about Darla though; it was Annie that mattered. Once she was out of eye shot, and Denny could no longer figure out which way she was going, Abby was already after her. The two of them came back before Denny could start counting time. His head was spinning. His arms were shaking, but he couldn’t tell if he was mad or if he was just drunk. He didn’t care. All he knew was that he walked towards Abby as she came back and yelled at him, ignoring her tone. He took Annie in his arms, held her tight with the towel around her, then turned his face to Darla. Six words were all that left his mouth. “What the fuck were you thinking?!” He didn’t really have any issue speaking, but Denny wouldn’t have paid attention to any speech impediments if he had any. With that, he took Annie under one arm and moved off of the beach.

Once they were far enough away, he stood still and brought her really close to him, holding her there so tight that she couldn’t get out if she tried. He didn’t want to hurt her, he just wanted to keep her close to him, to let her know that he was there to comfort her because anything Darla had said was just a bunch of bullshit. Annie shouldn’t believe it. There was nothing wrong with Annie, and even if there was, it wasn’t any of Darla’s business. She was just trying to ruin things for Denny because she thought he’d been the one to run her over. Denny didn’t even care about the accident right now either though; it was all about Annie and that was that. “Forget her,” Denny said quietly, or maybe it was just quiet to him because of the buzzing noise that seemed to be getting louder. Maybe Denny was just imagining it getting louder. “She doesn’t mean anything.” These sayings were the only things he could say if he was focusing on Annie. It was like some rush of adrenaline had crawled into his system, kicked in and sobered him up to the point where Denny could speak coherently, but he still couldn’t think much farther than he could see, and even with his bird senses, the booze had blocked out quite a lot of things for his vision to catch.

Denny pushed Annie back far enough for him to see her face. She’d definitely started crying, though Denny couldn’t tell how long she’d been going at that or how emotional she’d gotten. Her eyes were a bit puffy, and Denny just wanted to stomp back to Darla and smack her around, too. But he knew what would happen if he did that. He’d have the cops called on him; he’d be arrested again; he’d lose his job, his apartment, his pets; they’d have to move into his parents house and that was just embarrassing. So he refrained from wasting energy on Darla. Denny focused on Annie. She was what mattered. If he lost her, he wouldn’t know what to do with himself; instead of putting things in that direction mentally though, Denny collected himself as best he could and kissed Annie. Pulling away just seconds later, only far enough so that he could speak, he leaned his head against hers. “Let’s just go home. No one can bother us there.” Denny didn’t know if he could carry Annie home the whole way. His arms were still shaking a bit, less than before but still going at it, and he didn’t know how long it would be, even with how little Annie was, before his arms would just give out and she would fall to the ground – that wouldn’t help her insecurities any. He just sighed, kissed her again, took her hand from under the towel, and pulled back again. “I love you. They don’t – they don’t matter. There’s nothing wrong with you.”

Annie would never believe that, but Denny was still drunk enough to be slightly hopeful that she would since it was coming from him.

2576 -- cora/annie yes -- outfit described -- lyrics to all time bro -- hi shorter but it suffices my needs