-- FROM ME TO YOU

[ANNABELLE MARIE HURLEY]

can't seem to explain
THE SPEED OF MY HEARTBEAT, CAN'T HELP BUT SMILE AND STAY A WHILE

Reality wasn't like a fairytale. Not at all, at least when it came to love, but probably in other ways to. Sometimes there were coincidences, where something could be akin to an allegory to a poison apple or a pissed witch, but, honestly, Annie didn't think life was anything like a fairytale. It was all work, work, work. And sure, sometimes those damsels in distress had some hard times (Cinderella being a house hold slave, Belle being sold to some pedophile werewolf by her dear old dad) but, in the end, they were just damsels in distress and they almost never saved themselves (except maybe for Mulan... on second thought, no, because she really wouldn't have gotten far without that damn prince). And Annie was quite sure that everything was going to be work. Denver could try his hardest, but whether it be Annabelle's inability to deal with people, or simply her stubbornness, he would soon be left unable to deal with her baggage. Which meant that in the end it was all up to her.

Another thing commonly misinterpreted by fairytales was the fact that happily ever after did not begin with a kiss. It didn't mean that because of that one embrace on the balcony that Annie and Denver could simply live the rest of their lives in a fancy musical montage, devoid of problems and life, in general. No, it was going to be work (as stated above, something a lot of stories tended to be allergic to). And the idea of work scared Annie a lot. Not that she was lazy, or a wimp. But emotional? From the girl that had never had a real relationship in her life? Um, yeah, that was bound to be a bit of a cumbersome task for her.

To be lighthearted she ignored his lighthearted banter because she was busy thinking about everything and anything, anything at all, trying to cram it all in her mind, and her dinner from the night before sat hard and heavy in her stomach and all she really wanted to do was escape to the bathroom and see how much she could vomit. It was a sick, sick way to think, but she had just spent too much time crammed into another body. She just... she didn't even know. Maybe there was something wrong with this body. Maybe there were lots of things wrong with it, maybe there were too much here, too little there, maybe she didn't like the way her eyes looked to vibrant for the rest of her, like cat eyes, because she wasn't a cat. She was more like a fox, but she didn't even know. She didn't know much these days because she wasn't entirely sure of what was true and what was false. But she was starting to deal with it, she assumed.

"Yeah, I need some air again. I just don't like the indoors." she made a face like a five year old being told they needed to eat a pound of brussel sprouts, one of those exaggerated silly faces that made you want to laugh in the back of your throat. And then kind of ruined it all with a yawn. "Ugh. I didn't sleep at all last night." She cracked her kunckles and then flexed her hands a little. "Spend too long runnin'." She chuckled lightly. "So be prepared for me to just... faint or something. I dunno." She followed him into her room, and then the bathroom. She liked the feel of his warm hand in her's, the tug of him pulling her somewhere, even if it was somewhere she had been a thousand times because it all felt so new with him pulling the ropes. What she did not like was the tug in her stomach when she walked in here, and she subtly looked at her feet and kind of behind her, ashamed that she should feel that way, ashamed that she had that problem at all.

She had to admit that after a bit of mouthwash and toothpaste she felt a little cleaner. She watched Denny through the mirror. She had to admit that his lips were kind of like a drug; first hit was hard for her to swallow, hard to comprehend, hard to stay grounded, hard to keep your head. But now that it was over she was left licking her lips, forever enamored by the thought of another fix. And she really, really couldn't stop thinking about it. She silded closer, inwardly laughing at herself because this seemed really stupid, she knew. And so when she came to conclusions with that she laughed a little outside, and was quite taken with the idea that she probably sounded, acted, and looked a little insane. Because she kind of was. But she ignored that, getting closer, and closer, until her mind couldn't even fathom the disapperence of the distance between them. She tilted her head up. "Hmm. Now that we fixed that whole 'morning breath' issue... Wanna try that again?" She smiled brightly, and it hurt her lips, thinking that she rarely smiled like that ever.

And you know what?

He was always the cause.


859. WHEN WILL THE PATHETICNESS STOP?

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

Denny didn’t think things like this were going to be easy. Actually, since being in jail, the only thing he really thought was remotely easy was either being around Annie (and even sometimes that had its road blocks) or being a vulture. He didn’t expect for feelings like this to come as easily as they did, and he certainly didn’t expect for anything they caused to be easy-peasey lemon-squeezy or whatever that stupid saying was. I knew Annie above and beyond, and he knew falling in love with her wasn’t going to be like those movies his mother and sister used to talk him into watching years ago. Disney was nice and all, but Denny didn’t buy a moment of any of those movies. Most of them, anyway. He was sure there were fairy-like creatures out there now that he’d seen Pixies and elves running around Massachucetts. In any case, he didn’t expect all of this to be easy.

In fact, Denny knew it wasn’t going to be all easy.

He knew there were things Annie wasn’t telling him, even if he didn’t know what those things were. There were certain things she did that gave the fact she was keeping secrets from him away, whether she knew it or not. Somehow, Denny had become attuned to those little irks, but in all ways he didn’t mind. Annie had every right to her secrets, as did Denny, but he decided he could trust her with most of what was going on inside of his head. Denny knew just because he felt that way didn’t necessarily mean Annie felt the same way, and because of that he learned to just leave things as they were with her. If she wanted to tell him something, eventually she would. For instance, this morning; it had taken Denny to say the L word first when he was practically asleep, but still he’d managed to get a returning L word from Annie. Denny just knew that there would always be things she wouldn’t tell him right away, and he figured since it didn’t bother him too much now, it wouldn’t ever bother him to the point of deserting Annie. He couldn’t even think of that, let alone let the possibility slip into his conscious mind.

In all cases, Denny didn’t expect to be the prince charming he was sure every little girl hoped she would find and marry one day. He’d been in jail, which took that title away right off the bat. He didn’t want to be, nor could he really consider himself to be the brave knight that would storm fields of dragons to save the woman he loved. He’d do everything he could to protect Annie at all costs, but you could hardly consider the boy to be a hero. He wasn’t all that chivalrous, and if in the wrong mood was quite rude and selfish. He didn’t expect to be anything but that horrid Beast with his Beauty, even if she wasn’t perfect to the rest of the world. Denny loved Annie just the way she was; it didn’t matter if she could be moody or pensive or whatever anyone wanted to call her. She was his best friend, one of the only people that truly understood him, and the only girl he wanted to love and have love him back. (Then there were girls like Cece, but that’s for a different time and place.)

He listened carefully to what Annie was saying. He had to; if he didn’t, Denny was afraid he’d miss something and have to mindlessly ask her what she’d said. That was just…something Denny didn’t do. Whether he spoke much or not to a person was one story, but another story was that Denny listened. All the time. He was very attentive to his surroundings, partly because he had to be to survive as a vulture, and partly because he didn’t have much to say too many people outside of Annie and a very select few other close friends. Denny was more of a thoughtful person than a verbal person, more of a listener than a speaker. So he listened to her go on about not getting any sleep, which he obviously believed. But he smiled, turned to her and nearly breathlessly said, “If you fall, I’ll catch you. Don’t sweat it.” His tone was nonchalant, like it was no big deal to be rushing to the rescue of a very almost overly independent woman. Honestly, to Denny it wasn’t. For Annie, he’d hand over the world and everything he possessed within it.

Denny quickly brushed his teeth and felt instantly better. Now, he wasn’t as self conscious. Now he didn’t feel like he tasted like last night’s dinner and germs that liked to cultivate over night. That was the worst feeling in the morning if you asked Denny, and it was especially bad that he’d let himself kiss Annie with the worst feeling in his throat. Still, he didn’t really regret it, and when he stood up and Annie moved closer all thoughts of anything before that vanished. She kept getting closer too, and this was practically driving Denny insane. He didn’t know what it was about Annie; she was moody and secretive and possessive when the right possession came into her reach. There were so many faults but Denny looked past them. Actually, some of her flaws were things that he loved the most. Honestly, there was no way to describe it, especially not now that she was so close to him. In fact, he couldn’t even think with her this close to him, which was just another thing he couldn’t explain. He didn’t mind it though; the closer she got, the more Denny liked this situation.

She was inviting him in? Just like that? It was like…there were no walls between them anymore. There had been some sort of wall the night before, but it wasn’t a wall that Denny couldn’t attempt to climb over easily. Now, however, there seemed to be either no wall or an extremely transparent wall that Annie was allowing to stay up. Denny liked it. In fact, Denny loved it. He loved that he could be this close and maybe even closer, and Annie wasn’t shutting him out with her swings. She was letting him in, really in, and Denny was sinking in like he was water being poured into a deeply creviced well or something. He smiled at her offer, and moved closer himself even if it wasn’t all that possible. For a few seconds, he kind of believed that they were really one person, but he snapped back into reality and just….couldn’t help himself anymore. He was giving in, and Annie was giving in to some extent, and all of this giving in was just exciting him so much that he just nonchalantly leaned down and kissed her again. He put his hands on her cheeks and held her to him, trying to prove to himself that this was real and that she wasn’t running from him at his touch.

This was truly something that was going to change Denny forever, for better or worse.


1198 -- seren bby/annie duh. -- i made the everything k. -- omfg i love the ending sfm. they are extremely cute and whatnot but anyway. i know you're going to say it but i hope you like it! :D

[ANNABELLE MARIE HURLEY]

can't seem to explain
THE SPEED OF MY HEARTBEAT, CAN'T HELP BUT SMILE AND STAY A WHILE

Things could always surprise you. Things that might have once been intimidating, unthinkable, impossible, they became totally fathomable and attainable. Once upon a time, when you thought that you would be alone, you would be just yourself and deal with everything that life through at you, things started to change. Someone said hey, I like you. You don't have to be alone. I don't want you to. And even if you didn't really care, as Annie almost always didn't, they wouldn't let you go. And you found out that, hey, you had some stuff in common. You understood the ununderstandable, you, the unattainable, were attained. And then... things started to get trippy, for Annie at least. When you because so aware of someone things got odd. When someone because so aware of you, things got odder. She knew Denny's quirks, his history, how he felt about himself and how he felt about others (especially her, and just thinking about that made her stomach do flips, which was totally cliche and totally new to her) and she just let her life kind of revolve around him, because what else did she really have? But in comparison, the way she oriented herself to him was nothing to how he reacted to her. Maybe it was just because she was naturally unexciteable, naturally emotionally detatched, naturally devoid of some secrets. When she had her secrets she held onto them with a rabid hunger, refusing to let anyone know about them, not that too many people really thirsted to know about what was going on in the head of that crazy woman that they saw as the new girl and town freak who tended to only hang out with the town criminal. But if they did want to know there was a slim chance they ever would. Only Denny knew anything, and he really knew nothing.

Her history was a tiny freckle on her skin, nothing really remarkable, but maybe that's because she herself was just remarkable in tiny little ways that added up to something bigger than herself, like her voice, or the way she saw the world; occasionally warped, occasionally introspective. Her history was nothing new, nothing extraordinary and there were probably three hundred other girls out there with the same one.

But there was no one like Annie.

There was no one who laughed like her, who liked to make joke at the wrong things, the wrong times. There was no one who smiled like her, be it the sad little glitches in her face or her ear to ear grins that usually appeared when he came around. There was no one who felt the things she did, so much love from so few people. There was no one who talked the way she did, usually quiet and detatched but sometimes deep, long, important. There was no one else who had someone like Denver, no one but her and that gave her a secret satisfaction. There was no one like her, and that was the end of that conversation.

And that's what made Annie different. Different from the life anyone might have planned for her.

“If you fall, I’ll catch you. Don’t sweat it.” Really, really? Annie was getting a little frustrated with the stomach flippy thing. She just kind of wanted to scream DAMMIT DENVER, STOP MAKING ME FEEL THIS WAY but she also kind of liked it, in a scary way. Because it was a scary feeling to her, not that she'd ever admit it because she was Annie, and she wasn't even supposed to feel that way, let alone say anything about it. But him kissing her again was very nice, and being close, whether it be this nice feeling or even smashed up against his body (which was odd to think and made her blush a little). And she could have that feeling alllllll the time, and be okay. She liked kissing him, which she had never really thought about before, kissing him. But now she didn't know how she had never thought about it. She wanted to just worship whatever made him slip up and tell her that he loved her, because life just got better. Got lots better. Because she didn't know how long it would have taken for her to ever admit to anyone, especially to herself, that she would have more feelings for him. But she was glad now. But still scared. Really scared. And didn't want him to know that. Because that was to be vulnerable and she wouldn't be vulnerable.

Because that was letting herself go. She would love him, and kiss him, and let him hold her and do generally un-Annie like tings because she felt like doing it, and it came down to her really just doing what she felt like doing. She would hold his hand and walk down the street, and show off that she had let her heart feel something new. She would not shy away from his touch, she would let her walls come down a bit. But she wouldn't let him know she was scared, she wouldn't let him know her secrets. Not yet, anyway. Because to give in like that was to loose the game, too loose this dangerous and volatile puzzle that she had cornered herself into when she admitted things to him. And it was a stupid game, but it was a game nonetheless, and even if she was the only one playing, she wasn't about to loose.

But for right now, this was enough. And when she broke away for that bit of air, it was still enough. Being right here was enough to last her a while. And she hoped that it would, because there were going to be roadblocks, mostly from her creation, in the way for them. Annie needed to get over herself. But she wouldn't not for a while, because she was just too much. But this was good for now, she told herself. Denver was good for much longer than now. She smiled at the thought of that, and looked up at him, still close, her brain swimming for things to say. But she couldn't think of anything. But sometimes silence was good. There was the silence of the forest, the quiet peacefullness that was Annie's home, there was the small sounds that were nice, the wind, the small noises of birds and distant creeks. And Denny was meant for her because her she was, cooped up inside and perfectly at home. Because he was just like her forest, he was warm and open, and comforting, and loved her. His breathing was the small noise that cut out the otherwise eerie silence and made her at ease. He was all nature, all sky, all bird. Maybe he didn't see it because he had grown up normal and Annie had always been more wolf than person. But she knew what he really was.

"Did you know you smell like sky?"


1156. YES THE PATHETICNESS WENT AWAAAY~. so i likeeee. you knooooow. they're so fucking cewt omgomg.

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

Even though he didn’t expect this to be easy, he did expect it to feel this way. Denny hadn’t really ever been in love per say, though he wouldn’t deny the fact that he’d been in relationships previously. Girls were nice, some of them more so than others, but when there was one girl that consumed his whole attention, his whole life…..well, something had to be done there. It took him long enough to grow a pair of balls and get to it, but there it was. There they were. There they were together, closer than ever before in more than one way. It seemed like a lot of this was happening so fast, when it really wasn’t. It had taken Denny this long to just slip out how he felt about Annie, and it had taken her this long to open up to him and let him in this way. It took him this long to lean in and let his lips press against hers, and it had taken them this long to find out they’d underestimated all that they could be.

Denny hadn’t ever counted on liking the way Annie felt, tasted, and smelled the way that he did right then. He hadn’t realized she would feel so much like home, even if he wasn’t too sure what home was like anymore. He hadn’t counted on holding her where he was and absolutely loving the wild scent that filled his whole essence when she was this close to him. There were so many things that would get in the way of them, but this right here was the sort of thing that would make it all worth it for Denny. He would go through hell and back just to have this. To have Annie at such a position and to have his feelings out there in the open for her to hold onto was like walking on a dangerous and volatile stage that Denny could never get off of but it was worth it. It was worth knowing that she at least returned his feelings in the slightest bit and then some. He was willing to walk the line he was on for this.

Having her pull away was something he’d tried not to think about. Now that they were at this level, Denny was sitting between the level of being scared that she would pull away and change her mind and being so shitlessly scared that she would up and just forget about it all, leaving Denny in the dust. He shouldn’t think so poorly of his best friend, but honestly Denny didn’t know what to think about her half the time. Annie was complicated, and he knew better than most everyone that there was no one else out there like her. In fact, if you asked him, there was no one out there like either of them, and for that fact he didn’t want to let go of what was going on. With two people so rare to find each other and connect on all of these levels…well, Denny considered that something that only happened very little throughout time, and for it to be him and Annie was something he couldn’t even describe. Of course, all of that was just very subjective to his thinking, but in any case it’s what he believed. It’s what kept him scared to lose Annie and excited to be able to lean in again and kiss her.

Honestly, as she pulled back a bit, he didn’t know what to think. His mind was in two directions but his heart was telling him to never let her go. He really needed to calm down, and to do that he’d have to get outside and into the air – or so he’d used to think. Though he was sort of freaking out in his mind, the instant Annie said what she’d said, his nerves calmed and his mind stopped. It was like she’d pulled up on the emergency brake in his head, and suddenly Denny found himself mentally stopping so short, he could feel all of his thoughts mesh together like a big car crash. Even if that sounded brutal, his thoughts that were meshing all became one soft, big, fluffy (for lack of a better term) megathought that became the center of his mind. He’d only told Annie he’d loved her the night before, but already he felt seriously whipped and…to be honest, he didn’t care all that much.

After all, Annie was the girl he’d follow to the end of the earth. Not to be cheesy, but he was convinced she was the one, but that thought kept pushing itself to the back of Denny’s head to save both himself and Annie from getting into some kind of awkward conversation about all of the serious stuff. For now, he was going to stick with being in love and being extremely happy with being so. He was going to take things as slowly as Annie wanted, not as fast as he’d expected. Denny knew better than to take things at an extreme pace with Annie; he never really knew what kind of reaction he’d get out of her. But today, he’d gotten the best reaction ever. He’d gotten the reaction he’d only dreamed faintly of, not of the one he had even hoped for or thought he might gain. Of course, he hadn’t exactly planned to tell Annie what he had last night, but it was out in the open and instead of brushing it off or throwing it out, she was accepting it and reacting just the way that was keeping Denny at ease. Because of his, he listened to her and nearly blushed at what she was saying, though some of it was way out of character for him.

“Sky, I can believe.” He was a flyer. Obviously; he became a Vulture at will. His time spent in the sky nearly overcame all of his time spent on the ground, so smelling like sky he could believe. Freedom? First of all, how did one even smell like freedom? Denver wasn’t sure he knew what the scent of freedom was like, though he had a good grasp on the feeling. At least, when he wasn’t trapped in his human body, when he was flying above everything on the ground and all of his worries as a human, he knew what freedom was like. He’d felt freedom under his wings and talons, knew what it was like against his face as he rode with or against the wind on any given day. But to smell like freedom seemed like blasphemy to Denny. Then again, maybe that’s what Annie had meant. Maybe the fact that he smelled like sky to her meant that he smelled like what freedom would smell like if it had a distinct scent. So he smiled without saying anything against her. “But I can see where Freedom comes in with that.”

Though it was sort of driving him in circles, Denny knew he could definitely get used to this. He could get used to being around Annie and her amazing ways of doing this to his mind, body, and whole being. In most ways, he’d already been around her long enough to get used to all of those, but sometimes there were new surprises brought up that he would have to adjust to. With the thought that he was right there, with Annie, he knew he could. One adjustment, now that they were both into this whole situation, was to….not to counteract, but more like match her compliments with his own about her. He’d already been on a sort of rampage with that, but he figured why stop now? “Sky might be my territory,” he started, “But you smell like everything else. The ground, the trees, the flowers….” He sort of drifted off at the end of his statement and just held Annie as close to him as he could without smothering her, but quickly realized how creepy he sounded. He let her go a bit, but not fully, and smiled almost shyly.

“Damn, just tell me that I’m not dreaming right now please.” He didn’t know what else to say; the moment was too perfect to say anything else. In fact, the moment was too perfect for this to not be a dream, but Denny knew it was real and so his smile only grew with that realization. All of this was his; all of this was theirs.


1420 -- seren bby/annie duh. -- i made the everything k. -- okay it's a little iffy here and there but i did as you asked and pretended that freedom part was there until you wrote it in but. yeah anyway. hope you luff eet! :D

[[color=#ffffff]cora[/color].]

can't seem to explain
THE SPEED OF MY HEARTBEAT, CAN'T HELP BUT SMILE AND STAY A WHILE

Like flowers, and woods. She smelled like cedar and she smelled like nature. She wrinkled her nose, smiling a little, but one of those shy smiles that still managed to show off a good set of teeth. "Well, actuuuallllyyy, I smell like winter. And sweat. Ewww. I ran a lot." She laughed lightly and couldn't help but snuggle a little against his chest. Warmth emanated out and comforted her, like home, like Denny was her own personal sky and horizon, he went on forever, he was her ceiling, a part of her home. This was so not Annie. Was she under a spell? Maybe. But she didn't want to let it go. Because she had let go for once. ”But I can smell like whatever you want me to.” she whispered quietly, looking down. Annie wasn’t cheeky, but she felt different with Denver, she felt a little unsure, but still the same. She just knew that he was different than anyone she’d ever met before, and he made her act different than she ever had before.

She closed her eyes and looked down at their feet, her small, dirt covered ones, slightly numb from trapisaping though the snow, still, even though it was later, compared to his. Compared them, slowly, just in her mind. She was forever running. Maybe Denny thought that he didn’t know what love was, but Annie knew that she didn’t know. Because something drove her to running from everything, and if it pushed her so hard than she was obviously under it’s grip, and so she wasn’t free. He was more free. He’d gotten loose of his chains, and he was never too guilty to begin with. He was good. And she just started comparing. Everything about them, she compared, from the shape of his eyes to the shape of his heart, and he out weighed her so much it made her feel sick. He saw so much more when he looked, but Annie had blinders, she saw a narrow world and interpreted it however she wanted to see it. He had big arms, big hands, for embracing. Maybe he was cold towards humanity now, but she knew, like a feeling in the pit of her stomach, that he hadn’t always been like that. She had. And she knew that his heart had potential to hold so much love, whether he let it or not. And her’s? It barely even knew how to love Denver in this moment. It was going to explode from underuse or overuse one day, from her never loving and then trying to love too much at once and just not being able to handle it. She hated how she did that, so hyper critical of everything. Picked it apart like a second hand shop, pulling clothing from bin after bin, nothing ever fitting her standards, nothing ever making her smile enough to want to try it on. She didn't know where she got that trait from, but it affected her like no other. It made her pick herself apart, and tear herself down. Annie couldn't help that her brain just worked so terribly. Couldn’t help that sometimes she just wasn’t up to par. She never did her self confidence any good because not only did she do these terrible things to herself, but she never recognized the good. It didn’t really bother or bug her though. It just was, and you couldn’t fight with what was, especially when you had no fight to do it with. Things like that were cement, even if it was only so sure in her own mind. And she wouldn’t argue with it because she didn’t know how.
She sniffed a little to herself, and backed off then, pushing her hands against his chest to wiggle out from his grip. It was hard to do, not only because he was twice her size but because it physically hurt to deprive him of her. She felt like he deserved so much more. She felt her heart fissuring, like tiny breaks that would only effect her for a moment. But Annie herself was a volatile being, and so she changed easily, quickly, without meaning or warning. What was once sweet was now repulsive, and she was spiraling head first into a terrible mood, and she felt like she didn’t know how to pull herself out of it. So she just pulled herself away, and tucked some stray hairs behind her ear lightly, walking out of the bathroom.

She looked defeated, but honestly, she wasn’t. She didn’t know what she was, just tired maybe. But she wanted Denny to still come with her, but she kind of felt sick to her stomach, and, like always, she just didn’t know what she wanted. She plled his hand lightly, just a tug, before dropping it again and walking out to her bed, flopping onto it like a dead fish, rolling onto her side. She sighed roughly. ”It’s not a dream.” She wiped her hand against her mouth. ”It’s too hard to be a dream.”

881. LA LA LAAAA.

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

Though he shouldn't have been, Denny was terrified and confused. He knew this would happen eventually, but that didn't mean that he wanted it to. Of course he didn't want it to, but he needed to keep cool. Not too cool; that might just end up making things worse. Plus, Denny wasn't really the type of guy that walked around with an air that told me people he thought he was better than any of them. In fact, the opposite. Denny really thought he was below a lot of people for the things that he chose to do, and acted even worse than he felt most of the time. But now.....now he didn't know how to act. He was confused and his whole demeanor nearly deteriorated as Annie tried to push away from him. What had he done wrong?

What could Denny do but try to hold on? Nothing, so that's what he did. He held on to Annie with just enough of a force to keep her where she was without hurting her, but still.....he couldn't just stand there and try to keep her where she was. Though they were both shifters, Annie had a better grip on her brute force because she was more in tune with her Kalak form than Denny was. Plus, when they were both in their shifter bodies, Denny was just a measly Vulture. He didn't have long, muscular, skinny legs to run around with and exercise. Sure, he had wings but....that didn't nearly attribute to his force in his human body as much as Annie's Kalak legs did. So too quickly for his liking, she got away, and it was like the world around him was crumbling.

But this was familiar to Denny. He knew the feeling. When he was in court years ago, and the judge sentenced him to just under half a year in jail time to 'teach him a lesson about drunk driving', his world had crumbled then too. Then, he'd had plans to go to College and become an music major to produce records and be as free as he could. Then, freedom was tangible to him. But when the judge pounded her gavel and put Denny in jail with those other freak of nature juvenile delinquents, he was trapped. He could only shift when he had a cuff attached to his foot so he wouldn't fly away. He had no freedom at all. And his world had crumbled because everything he'd worked extremely hard for before that point was so unreachable to Denny after being put in the big house. No college would accept a crook that almost killed someone. Sure, being in jail wouldn't stop him from becoming a producer, but without a college education he couldn't even get an internship.

And so really, all he had was Annie, and even she was running right out of his grasp. Then again, this sort of thing wasn't exactly unexpected from her. Again, he shouldn't say such things about his best friend but when his best friend was Annie, things like this should be considered before he goes and tells her what's really in his heart and on his mind. Because he'd only considered those facts beforehand, he was going crazy. Not literally, but he felt it. His world wasn't the same now that he'd laid everything out for Annie to take or leave and....well, she'd done a bit of both by this time. What happened to be being ready for this? His train of thought cut through the rest and he stopped, letting her go wherever she wanted. He really felt like the Beast from that one disney movie now; that guy taught him when he was little that if you love something, let it go, and if it comes back it's yours....but Annie was a flitting girl. She left and came back as she pleased, and though Denny had told himself to be ready for it, he wasn't sure his emotions and feelings were actually up to waiting around for her to make up her mind to be with him or not forever.

At least she'd pulled him with her, even if she had let go. Denny decided to give up almost; he was going to just go with Annie's moods and react to her with whatever he could. If he wanted to at least stay friends, he was going to have to get over his feelings for a while and just let Annie do whatever she wanted. He couldn't stop her if he tried anyway, but now more so than ever. All he had to do was tell himself it was over and – now that he thought about it maybe Annie was just tired. She’d told him she hadn’t gotten any sleep so maybe that was just wearing on her mind. Wait, where did this optimistic, hopeful Denny come from? He hadn’t felt this way since his Senior year of high school. And, not so surprisingly, Denny didn’t know how to react to this feeling. He couldn’t be optimistic; it didn’t fit his scripture. He was the dark, mysterious and, on the outside, intimidating guy that no one besides Annie and a very select few other people in the entire city wanted to talk to. So why was he being optimistic in the worst case scenario he’d imagined in his mind just moments before?

“What are you talking about, Annie?” His voice had gone from animated and excited to dull and monotone. Who would blame him? He’d just gotten his hopes up to have his heart kicked in the ass by reality. He was starting to think this whole situation wasn’t about Annie and her mood swings but rather the fact that he was right; no one living person could love him anymore, not even his best friend, confidante, and pretty much the only girl he loved. Maybe it was his fault for even bringing up the dream thing. In any case, this was as bad as it could get for him, as far as Denny could tell. Her walking away from his vulnerability was pretty much worse than him being alone, with no one to love or have love him. Still, Denny couldn't find it in his whole being to blame Annie too much; he knew how she was and he really didn't think he needed to be overreacting the way he was.

"Annie, you're making this harder than it needs to be." Again, his voice was monotone, so he didn't sound rude or demeaning like he could have. Denny was just stating what he felt was the truth; Annie was taking something almost too good and making it just that.....too good. When things were too good, Denver knew Annie didn't stick around long to figure out where the good would end and the bad would begin. He wasn't sure what'd made her that way, but to this point he hadn't asked too many questions. He knew the value of what they had even before the past two days, and to cherish that he wouldn't go snooping around and possibly end everything as it was.

In retrospect, however, Denver's statement was highly hypocritical. He was, too, making this harder on himself than he needed to be doing, than it really was. He was taking a simple turn of events and turning it into the disaster of his life, when really Annie had the capability to bounce back and everything would be alright - though that was a far fetched idea that this point. Because Denny didn't care if he was a hypocrite right now. The only thing he really cared about was the fact that he and Annie....he didn't even know how to put it in words. So he sighed and let his back glide down the wall across from her bed as he slid down to the floor. He felt like crying but knew he wouldn’t. He couldn’t cry in front of Annie in this state, and he couldn’t cry over something he didn’t even know how to describe anyway. So he just put the bottom of the palms of his hands to his eyes and held his breath. “Damn it, Annie.” His voice was almost a whisper now, creaky and hard like the way his throat was starting to feel.

How did he let himself get so emotional so quickly? Maybe that was just a side effect of being around Annie for so long, especially like this. In that case, her mood swing was a good thing. If he could just get up and walk away like she could do….he’d be out of there and on his own without much to fear but confrontation with her again. Especially since they had the band thing going around; yeah, that would be a hard little detail to avert from his attention. So instead of running, Denny just sat there and tried to clear his head, throat, and eyes. He made no sounds, hardly took in any breath, and brought his gangly legs close to his body. He sort of looked like a hiding vulture in his stance, which was totally befitting of him. Finally though, he slowly looked up at Annie and sighed again. When he looked away from her because he couldn’t stand to look at the girl that was unintentionally breaking his heart he said, “It’s not hard. You’re scared, and I get it. This….us…..even in the slightest bit it’s always been easy. At least for me. But if you’d just rather take the easy way out then fight for it, tell me now, before I let anything else slip out while I’m half asleep.” Denny could practically feel his walls come up again, but he fought them in hopes of getting through to Annie.

He looked back at her with a stone cold emotion on his face, one much like the one his vulture form almost always wore. “Tell me now if you don’t want this, because if not I need some air.” If she told him she didn’t want what he was giving her, he was running and flying; he didn’t know when he’d be back or where he’d go, but he couldn’t stay here if Annie was going to just push him away like this. He didn’t want to pressure her, because in all honesty he’d eventually find his way back to her, but right now…he didn’t think he could handle being around her if she didn’t want him.


1749 -- seren bby/annie duh. -- i made the everything k. -- holy shit just got real. anyway. i'm finally done! i hope you like it :)

[ANNABELLE MARIE HURLEY]

can't seem to explain
THE SPEED OF MY HEARTBEAT, CAN'T HELP BUT SMILE AND STAY A WHILE

“What are you talking about, Annie?” The lack of emotion in his voice did odd things to her. It made her feel weird in the pit of her stomach, the way his voice held no indication of anything. She covered her face over her hands, mentally groaning as her elbows forms triangles of irritation around her ribcage. It killed her to hear such an unconcerned question, irritated her to hear such a monotone coming from someone that she knew to hold so much emotion and care, at least when it came to things he really did care about. She didn’t know what to think of him saying things like that. Annie didn’t know what to think when she heard him saying things like that, she didn’t know how to react because it was something different and new, something she had no experience dealing with. She didn’t know why Denny’s voice was like sand paper on her skin right now, why it just rubbed her the wrong way when his tongue made a tone like that. She wished that she hadn’t moved, hadn’t said anything at all, wished she could just go curl up next to him and tuck her head against him like a dog, like the loyal thing she wanted to be. Wished that she wasn’t just full of mistakes. But she stayed stationary on the bed, almost unable to move, like every limb was lead and her heart was iron and she was just incapable of moving an inch, let alone across the room. Her emotions weighed uncountable amounts. She was so disappointed in what she had become, not just in this moment, but in her entire life.

She groaned when he started talking again, easily irked because that’s just who she was. ”I know, okay, I know.” her tone was sharp, her teeth clenched. She knew she made it hard. She knew she made things almost impossible, and when she got an idea in her head or felt too uncomfortable to do, something she was more stubborn than an ass, unyielding in her stupid ideas and stuck in the trenches of her misconceptions. But she didn’t know how to let go. If she did know, she wouldn’t be in this situation. She wouldn’t be anywhere near where she was, so she should at least be a little bit thankful for her flaws. She didn’t have a lot to keep to herself and she had even less to give away, so she just wanted to keep everything else for herself, even if it meant making the good things in her life impossible to have. And the same maddening tone. Why did he talk like that? She’d rather him sound angry, because he deserved to sound angry. He didn’t have to sound like this, this stupid neutral tone. It made her want to pull her hair out. It sounded condescending, but she didn’t even know what it sounded like or anything. It was just maddeningly irritating, and bugged her to no end. ”Don’t talk like that, okay? At least be mad. But that’s just stupid, sounding so… so… I don’t know. I just know I don’t like it.” Frustrated. Her tone portrayed so much frustration that she couldn’t even get it out. Frustrated with herself, frustrated mannerly with him. Just frustrated and his tone wasn’t helping her anger in the least.

She listened to him slide down to the floor, and waited in the silence, listening to them breathing for what felt like hours. Time slipped into something bigger than itself, time became more than it had ever meant to her. Her calculated, sometimes uneven breathing as she focused on the room, and Denver’s breathing, much more natural as he started to lose his composure, she studied the sound as she would his face, she wanted to take it all in because sometimes she was more introverted than someone might expect. But then his breathing got quieter, less and less. She sat up as he drew his legs closer, watching him close his eyes and think. Then he looked at her. Her heart thudded loudly in her ears for that fleeting moment that he did, her whole body stuck frozen stiff like a deer in headlights. And then he didn’t. And she felt unbearably alone, more so than she had ever been. That feeling influenced her, as she listened to him, she slipped off her bed, and onto the ground, crawling (childishly) over to him, crossing her legs as she listened to him finish.

And then he looked up at her, and she caught her breath silently. Annie let her lungs fill with surprise, let her heart fill with trediption. She held his eye contact for longer than she thought she might have been comfortable with. She chewed the inside of his lip, and was quiet for some time as she thought. Scared. Yes. She was scared. Scared beyond comprehension, scared beyond any thoughts, scared about everything. But she just said ”Yeah. I’m scared.” painly, simply. Because she didn’t want to go into all the gory details of her fears. She closed her eyes, and said what was on her mind. ”It hurts to admit it.” She swallowed roughly, her eyes still closed. ”I..I guess it’s been easy. But it’s different. And different… Different isn’t easy. Especially for me. You know that.” But then she opened her eyes, and the steel that was Annie came back into her voice with a fighting brilliance. ”I won’t take the easy way out. I’m not some coward, okay? Sorry if things get hard sometimes. I just walked out of the room. Chill. I’m sorry I ruined a good moment. But… that’s how I am.” She closed her eyes again, because that wasn’t really what she wanted to say but she didn’t know how to say what she wanted to say.

Truthfully, she needed some air too, but panic seeped into her when he talked about leaving. She grabbed his arm and pulled herself closer, sliding next to him against the wall, leaning back against it, her back cracking. ”That would be giving up. And I know you’re better than that.” She leaned her head against his shoulder, and closed her eyes, breathing in, breathing out. It seemed like the last twenty minutes had been entirely consumed by Annie trying to keep her composure. ”It’s entirely my fault, anyway.” her voice quivered there, even though her statement was barely a whisper. ”You tell me everything. You don’t keep any secrets. “ she sighed. ”But me? All I am is secrets, and I don’t let any of them go. And the saddest part is I barely have any secrets. Maybe that’s why I’m so protective of them.” She was protective of her secrets. She rarely ever let them loose from her mouth, but now she was wondering if she should change that. She kept it on the tip of her thoughts. Did she tell him about… the spaghetti… or the other ways she made money back in Boston. She licked her lips. ”I guess… that should change.” she was quiet, thoughtful, and slipped her hand down Denny’s arm and into his hand because it made her feel a little better, and she put a little more of her weight on him because that made her feel better too.

Her voice was tiny, but she thought of getting this secret in the way of the secret itself; just throwing it up. She knew that was a totally gross way to think about it, and a totally gross secret to have, but that was just what it was. She didn’t know why she developed it. Annie had always just unconsciously chalked it up to feeling more comfortable in her Kalak body than her human one. But now it was time to confront it, even in the littlest way, which would be telling Denver. ”Well. I can tell you one, I guess.” as she started talking her voice just got quieter and quieter, and by the time she started talking again she wasn’t even sure it was audible. ”I have… this problem… with eating.” That didn’t sound too bad, she guessed. But she had nasty secrets, she knew. She had secrets that were gross and dusty, spiderweb and cobweb-ridden, just eaten up by the own malices of her mind. ”And… a bad habit of not keeping it down… intentionally.” She looked away, sick to her stomach, looked anywhere, at her hands, at the wall, at her feet, and finally just closed her eyes. She just had to look anywhere but at Denny, anywhere but at his eyes because she was afraid of what they would portray.



1,450. jaayyysssuuuuus. shit just got real....er. nom.

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

“I know.” If anyone knew how different could not be easy, it was Denver. Different for him had been jail and the following life of a criminal. “Believe me, I know different isn’t easy.” But that wasn’t his point. “But that’s not my point.” He was beginning to sound redundant. Tell us Denver, what is your point? “My point is that it might not be easy, but it’s not all difficulty on you. I’m here too, and the reason I’ve even put myself out after you bringing up what I said last night was to show you that I was going to be there for all of the difficulties, big or small.” And then he realized something. If he was going to stand for being around during difficult times, running and shifting right now would be extremely hypocritical and possibly even back stabbing. Denny might not trust himself, but he was not the type of guy to stab his friends in the back. What friends he could get were the equivalent of his family, because that’s all he could get these days. That’s all that he could let himself get. Basically, he just needed to sit and wait to see what was going to happen; he’d only leave if Annie asked him to.

With her steady rising and falling of emotions, Denny was silenced. His quiet intensity was showing (oops), and in all honesty he didn’t quite care. He was more preoccupied keeping track of what Annie was saying. Her outburst hurt him, and he wasn’t going to deny that, but he probably deserved it. He’d just started acting like a fucking baby in the middle of Annie’s bedroom because she’d rejected him for an instant. Then again, she was sort of playing with his emotions. In any case it just seemed like they both were deserving of what each other was dishing to the other one. Still, she was right. He should have gotten mad instead of running around almost crying. Denny was nearly twenty-two; he needed to man the fuck up. Just because Annie started pushing him away, which he’d sort of anticipated, didn’t mean his world was ending. No one was clipping his wings and making sure he couldn’t fly; he didn’t a bullet lodged in his brain; his family was well and alive and Annie was still right there, sitting next to him now. There was really nothing wrong with the situation other than the fact that his heart hurt, as well as his chest and a small part of his head now that he thought about it.

“It wasn’t the fact that you walked, Annie.” His voice was no longer monotone, but rather almost too emotional. His throat was closing up again, but he didn’t feel the tears in his eyes. Maybe he was cried out, even if he hadn’t cried at all. “It was the fact that you pushed. That’s what hurt the most.” Now, he was speaking in as calm a tone he could, though he let a few angry undertones slip out. He sighed again and looked at his knees that were still pulled tight. Every muscle in his body could feel the tension of being semi-heartbroken, but as Annie just got closer to him he was forced to look up. His whole body just wasn’t registering how to react just yet to the swings; first she was happy, then she was frustrated, then she was angry, then she’s in a mood to share and Denny didn’t know which one to stick with. His mind was, once again, in blur, which was nothing new with Annie around. “I just don’t get it though. You’re up, you’re down but – I’m still here. Maybe I do get it then; I’m here because I care and Annie, God damn it, I’m here because I want to be.” Honestly, Denny lost the capability to stay relevant in that moment, so instead of continuing, he just listened again.

She was right in some ways. Denny didn’t blame just Annie for the situation; he always found some way to blame himself, but he didn’t speak up about it now. He was too engrossed in hearing what Annie had to say. He started to calm down, and every time she made a movement against him (she put her arm around his; she slid closer to him on the wall; she held his hand) he could feel his muscles let go a little more. With every little movement, he was able to actually listen to her and process what she was saying through his mind. Everything she was saying, he was holding on to. Nothing in his direct conscious was about him; it was all what was coming out of Annie’s mouth, even if she was speaking in a tone that was below even a whisper. He could hardly believe she was going to open up to him, but after what they’d just said and transferred to one another, Denver was going to take what he was given. He didn’t care if this secret was as insignificant as I have a mole on my butt (though he highly doubted it was that small) or as gigantic as I’m a lesbian and that’s why I can’t be with you; he was going to listen and listen well. (He was definitely praying silently that it wasn’t the lesbian thing.)

And then….there it was. Denny had put his heart out on the table and Annie had practically put her hand in her mouth and drawn out her stomach for an offering. Denver knew this was a huge sacrifice for her, but he knew that she knew she could tell him. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t have even brought it up. So there it was; Annie had just told him that she had an eating disorder, and Denny was literally speechless. What could he say? He could stand up, walk around the room a few times, then demand an explanation as to why she would do that to herself. He could sit there with his mouth open like guppy and wait for her to close it or something. He could sit on her bed, hold his head in his hands, and think about what to say or…he could just stay where he was in the position he was already in and do the very same thing. The latter sounded like the most convenient option, so Denny stayed crouched against the wall with Annie leaning against him. Though his insides were turning in disgust (not at Annie, at what she was doing to her own insides), his mind and mouth were blank. He just didn’t know what to do for once.

He clung on to her hand, because that was all he could think to do. “Why?” Simple questions were all that could come to his mind. He finally looked at her, regaining muscle movement and thought processes one at a time. His throat tightened again, and this time he could feel the tears welling up right before his eye lashes. “W-What’s so wrong with you to you that you feel you have to do that?” he asked. Denny tried to turn his whole body towards Annie, but their already extreme closeness kept him from doing that completely. So he let his legs unclasp themselves from the stance they’d been in and relaxed them into a criss-cross pattern, still clinging onto Annie’s hand. “I don’t think I have to tell you what that does to your body, but Annie….don’t ever let anyone or anything tell you that you’re not beautiful, if this is what it’s all about.” Denny wiped his eye with his free hand before a tear could even so much as leave the tip of his eye lash. His nose was starting to drip anyway, so he needed to take care of that too. “Sorry I’m so emotional about this but…..but Annie I just don’t know why you would do that.” He just couldn’t come up with the right words to describe his surprise. He thought about kissing Annie again, like maybe that would make it all better, but he wasn’t sure that it would, and even if he just did it on impulse he ran the risk of starting the whole situation all over again.

“You’re beautiful, Annie, and you don’t need to be doing this to yourself.”


1396 -- seren bby/annie duh. -- i made the everything k. -- okay denny i dunno what you're doing but just keep doing it. anyway. so not quite as long as the last post but i love this one just as much and i hope you do even if you always tell me you do <3

[ANNABELLE MARIE HURLEY]

can't seem to explain
THE SPEED OF MY HEARTBEAT, CAN'T HELP BUT SMILE AND STAY A WHILE

Annie’s whole body was on high alert to see what Denver would say. She was entirely dedicated, but terribly afraid of what his reaction might be. She licked her lips while she waited, and listened patiently. “W-What’s so wrong with you to you that you feel you have to do that?” She flinched back, her hand trembling in his. She was sure he didn’t mean to say it that way, but it couldn’t be helped that it hurt. What he said, it hurt her. She picked at a scab on her knee that she’d forgtotten about, speechless, because she didn’t know what was wrong with her. Lots of things, she guessed. She listened to him change the way he sat, but still didn’t look up, afraid to, because her composure was on the line. With the last thing he had said she was starting to loose it. She just sounded so… defective. She wiped her nose with her empty hand, tearing it away from her knee, and turning her head so that she couldn’t see Denver at all.

He gripped her hand tighter.

I don’t think I have to tell you what that does to your body… Damn, that boy was good. Because he was right, he didn’t have to tell her, he shouldn’t have. Annie was studying to be a nurse, god dammit (although the chances that she ever would be were extremely rare because she really didn’t give a rats ass about helping too many people, all that health stuff just fascinated her), and not only was had she been a smoker, but she was bulimic, and those things killed your body, rotted your teeth, split your nails and made you an unentertaining person to be around. But she just… didn’t care. And now she cared because of what he was saying. Don’t ever let anyone or anything tell you that you’re not beautiful, if this is what it’s all about. She looked down again, she could see Denny out of the corner of her eye. ”It’s not about being pretty…” she whispered helplessly. She felt like she was drowning now. This was why she hated giving away secrets; it always came back to hurt her, and in the worst possible way, too.

Sorry I’m so emotional about this but…..but Annie I just don’t know why you would do that. You’re beautiful, Annie, and you don’t need to be doing this to yourself. She stroked her thumb across his hand. ”I know why. It’s the same reasons for my mood swings; Denny, I’m feral. That sounds silly, I know. But… I don’t belong in this body. I just feel it… ya’know? I hate myself, I hate this form. I like being a wolf better any day. I act more like one; these fucking mood swings would make sense for a beast.” She paused thoughtfully for a moment. ”But then there’s you. You’re the only thing that makes being this -” she gestured a little at the length of her body, from her lap to her legs, ”- bearable. You make it okay. You’re honestly the only reason I’m even in this town, the only reason I haven’t just decided to never be Annie again.” Finally, she got the nerve to look at him, and she slipped her free hand to his cheek, slid it down to his chin, and turned his face to her’s.

”You make it worth it.”

And then, because she just really could not resist him, Annie found herself leaning forward and kissing him yet again. It wasn’t like a full fledged make out, but it was definitely more than a peck. And with every bit of air that she lost to him she felt like she was tumbling headfirst into Denver, down the vulture hole, if you will. (Lol, punny.) But that was okay. Right now she was tired of talking, and she just wanted to be with Denny again, and have him hold her really close again, see if she could reach redemption for running away earlier. When she pulled away from the kiss she did exactly that; she shifted more so that she was laying kind of on top of him a little, and leaned her head on his chest more. She closed her eyes tightly, so everything went black. ”Sorry.” she said quietly.

”Sorry for everything I’ve put you through.”



731 words. SAD ANNIE IS SAD.

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

It was obvious in her reaction that Denny was over reacting. He’d struck a chord, and he could tell. Denver honestly hadn’t meant to; he’d intended to make a point without being redundant or some kind of…lecturer that he knew Annie would roll her eyes at and tune out. Of course, he didn’t think that she regarded him in such a fashion, but because of his paranormal fears, he ended up just hurting her. Denny didn’t think Annie deserved to be hurt, whether or not she’d hurt him first or not. With Annie in the mix, revenge just wasn’t in his game. In fact, his whole game was shut down when it came to Annie being even remotely a part of the situation. He played no games with her, which was part of the reason why he couldn’t understand why she was playing games with him. He just needed to realize that she wasn’t playing games with him; this was really who she was. Some part of him knew that in all honesty, but another part of him, a more ignorant part, refused to believe it. However, he knew through the sound of her voice, through the way she moved, through the way she reacted, that Denny needed to get the truth straight into his head and push out that stupid male pride arrogance thing right out.

If it’s not about being pretty, his thoughts started as he turned to try to get a better look at Annie, then what is all of this about? Denny just couldn’t understand why a girl would do that to herself; literally tear her insides apart with a simple finger or toothbrush or whatever she could find to stuff down her throat. It didn’t make sense to him, but then again he was a lot more….humane than Annie could tend to be. While he thought things through most of the time and found a solution to most problems he faced, Annie would run right into it head on and tackle the issue, bringing it right off of its feet for a long enough time to destroy it. And there it was – his answer and explanation right in his face. Of course the thing he’d just considered would be the exact thing Annie would tell him. He should have seen it since that’s what was staring him in the face but up until then he really hadn’t even thought about it. He’d just simply passed it all off as Annie being a huge brute force when angry, an emotional woman when she was otherwise occupied with her own thoughts, and a regular girl when he was around. Of course, she wasn’t regular by any means; regular just meant…herself around him.

Most of his mind felt extremely guilty then. There Annie was, telling him one of her secrets that he’d worked so hard to earn, and there he was, calling her out for it. He felt like such a horrible friend, such a horrible……he didn’t want to say boyfriend because things weren’t finalized right then, but that was the farthest thing from his mind. He didn’t care what she considered him because Denny himself considered himself quite low, like dirt, at that point. What kind of guy would do that to not only his best friend, but the girl he spent almost all of his life with? There Annie was, making it all better by putting him on this pedestal where he was the only reason she didn’t just run away in her wolf form. Well, at least that was his chance to try and redeem himself in this situation; Denny wasn’t the best at that, but he’d work on it if it meant keeping Annie close. She seemed to want that too, at leas the close part, and so Denny let her get as close as she wanted. After what he’d said and how she’d reacted, she could take all she wanted from him without any kind of compensation because he felt that horrible for having said anything. He could have just told her that he loved her again, but no, and he didn’t know why he didn’t.

I wish I knew what she saw in me to make me so worth it. As soon as the thought passed, Denny wiped it out of his conscious. He wasn’t going to question Annie; he was just going to sit there and support her and her choices. Some part of him knew he really was a good guy, and that part could tell why Annie thought he was worth it. Denny was loyal to her, always kept the secrets she told him to himself. Denny was her support system and practically always backed up her decisions. Denny was her band mate and collaboratively they worked together to bring whoever would listen music that came from their own minds. Now that he thought about it, though he knew it so it didn’t take too much thought at all, he said, “You’re the only thing I have, Annie. I couldn’t stand to lose you, which is why I react the way I do.” He sighed and held her in whatever way she wanted to be held. “Without you…not only is my life completely boring, but it’s extremely useless and utterly feckless.” He was definitely starting to sound redundant, but he was making a point. “After jail, I didn’t have anything but music and then…..then you came along and everything changed, and it changed for the better – and what I’m really just trying to say is that…” his run on sentences were driving him crazy. He paused before starting up again.

“What I’m trying to say is that you’re the only thing that’s worth me even staying in this town, this state, this country.” He was sure that without Annie, he’d be far away, probably in a place warm and barren with plenty of room for dead animals to lay about. Possibly Australia, deep in the country, far away from any body of water so he could easily find some sort of prey to torture. Without Annie, Denny knew he’d be a much different person, a much different creature. What stopped his train of thought then was the fact that she was kissing him. Again. He didn’t understand why, but he didn’t ask questions. Denny, once again, would take what he was given. So he kissed her back, trying to keep it as light and easy as he could since he knew anything more than that would ruin this moment, which would spiral their whole situation again. Still, Denny would be prepared if that happened – but was Annie apologizing?

Denny looked at whatever he could see of Annie and just….held his gaze to her. He couldn’t believe it; not the fact that she was apologizing, but the fact that she was apologizing to him when she’d done nothing wrong. She’d explained herself, and to Denny her reason was extremely valid. She was a Kalak at heart, and Denny knew that above most things that he knew about her. She didn’t need to apologize for things that he took to heart; that was in no way her fault. So, in a low but calm and collected voice (the first he’d used since the kiss before last) he said, “I don’t blame you, Annie. You don’t need to apologize for anything.” He knew she hadn’t really done anything wrong.

Now that he'd gotten that off of his chest, he felt like he needed something else in his lungs. Something fresh - air- would do, and so silently he thought about how he could coax Annie to standing up and heading out with him. Denny didn't care where they went; he just wanted to walk around, maybe shift, and find ways to tell Annie that he was there for her, that he didn't blame her, and that to him, she didn't need to change one thing about her. He was starting to sound (mentally) cheesy again, but he needed to get out, and he knew he needed to do it with Annie. Whatever force had them on this fucked up roller coaster was pushing Denny to go outside, be around trees and fresh air and the sky, of course with an equal push to get Annie out too.


"I feel cramped." His voice was quiet still, but not nearly as tension-lined. He actually felt almost completely calm, but that could have been because of the thought of being outside again. He liked it there; he liked wherever Annie was, but outside was the best place to Denny. Anywhere outside, really. "You don't mind if we go out, do you? The air might do us some good," he said. Denny waited for Annie to respond before he stood up, holding his hand out just to help her off the ground. Once again, Denny stretched after having sat on the ground and yawned even if he wasn't all that tired. Before he even moved to leave the room though, Denny held out his pinky. Yes, his pinky. An almost sly smile spread across his lips as he said, "I pinky promise you that I'll be more understanding. Being over emotional and over reactional is just....not a word first of all, but totally not me." He kept his finger out for her to wrap hers around.

After she did so, Denny dropped his hand and grabbed her fingers so that their hands were interlocked again and slowly made his way to exit her room. So maybe things wouldn't be completely different, but Denny was learning to accept things as they were, and he hoped that was good enough.

lost count w/e. -- seren bby/annie duh. -- i made the everything k. -- okay. kind of rambly and i dunno but i hope it makes sense and i hope you like it :)

[ANNABELLE MARIE HURLEY]

can't seem to explain
THE SPEED OF MY HEARTBEAT, CAN'T HELP BUT SMILE AND STAY A WHILE

Blame. Blame is really, really funny. Because you didn’t have to blame anyone, and blame was a guilt trip, a grudge. If you did blame someone you were conceited, right? But what if you blamed yourself? Annabelle blamed herself for a lot of things. She didn’t even have the heart to blame her mother, which most would if they were in her situation. And Denny, well he didn’t have to blame Annie; because, as a matter of fact, blame was an opinion. And opinion or not, she had brought as much malice into his life as joy (or so he claimed). And she felt no other way to remedy that than to tell him she was sorry. She wasn’t really fond of the word apologize. She sure as hell didn’t know why, but she didn’t like the way it sounded coming from Denver’s mouth. And maybe that’s because she thought he was wrong for saying that. ”Just because you don’t blame me doesn’t mean I’m not sorry.” Ohh, okay, so maybe that didn’t exactly make sense, especially since Denny didn’t have some magic portal into Annie’s mind where he could miraculously see her warped train of thought. That was just too bad. Now he would be confused, but maybe not at her, just what she was saying. Unless he also magically understood, which he might; Annie wasn’t about to underestimate the boy that suddenly had a very tight grip on her heart.

When he talked about being cramped, Annie just kind of listened, but was on her own train of thought again. Denver was a bird, right? Cramped sounded terrible to a bird; she got a mental image of a pigeon just stuck into one of those pest boxes, his wings clamped awkwardly to the sides of his body, like he had been shoved in too roughly and quickly to fold them correctly, and there was not enough room in the wired tramp for him to readjust. Anguish in the street bird’s eyes. And she wasn’t even fond of those pesky birds. Applying all that she had just imagined to Denny, she didn’t blame him at all, and stood up rather quickly when he went to help her up. In her mind’s eye she couldn’t get the view of obsidian wings of a sexy powerful wingspan trapped so tight, normally feared talons either balled into submission or flattened unregally against the bottom for any sort of balance. She looked at Denver, even though he wasn’t looking at her, and just to imagine that such a thing happening to him hurt her physically. And that, that added to the fear that twisted up in her second with this whole “relationship” thing – Annie didn’t get attached easily. And here she was, already pining away because of an imagined malady. She wasn’t sure what was to become of her.

”Air sounds nice. I’m a little cramped, too.” She shifted uncomfortably in her skin. She was always uncomfortable in her skin. Annie twitched her nose a little, it was itchy. She ran a hand across it. "I pinky promise you that I'll be more understanding. Being over emotional and over reactional is just....not a word first of all, but totally not me." She pulled her head back, a little shocked at first. But then she wrapped her pinky around his, too. I promise to be everything you want and more. No. That was wrong. She couldn’t be that. She could try, but the odds she would succeed would be low. I promise to try my hardest. What, was she in third grade again? I promise… what, what did she promise? What did she want to give him, what did she have to give him? She swallowed the lump in her throat, thinking out her words carefully, imagining what each one would feel like on her tongue, as to not put the wrongs ones out and sound inept again.

”And I…” She thought a little harder. Hey, a girl wanted to be prepared, okay? ”I promise to do more than think I love you.” Well, fuck it all. That didn’t sound the way she wanted it to. She meant that she had told him she only thought she loved him. But she didn’t want to just think it anymore, she wanted to do it. She wanted to love him in the full sense of the world (although not the physical sense, because at this point, anything more than kissing made her sick to her stomach, and she might have thought even kissing would do that, but the taste of Denny’s lips were just so fucking irresistible to her that she couldn’t even think twice the last few times she’d smashed her face to his). But it was out; and what meaning he would take from it was entirely up to him.

Annie decided to play it off coolly, and took his hand the same way, making a point to be the leader out of her house. Even though she was just in a hoodie and ass-shorts. She didn’t care. She’d look stupid in style, she’d figure out some retarded way to love Denver, but she’d do it in style. Even if she was unable to get a good hold on her emotions, even if she was unable to really love him right now, she would soon. And she would do it all in fucking style.

And that was her last thought as she opened her apartment door, stopping to slip on some fuzzy blue slippers that waited paitently at the doorstep.

Like she’d thought to herself.

Fucking style.




934 words. LOL ANNIE IS LOL.